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Stay At Home Humor

deleted. - thought some people might be offended.
 
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Quarantine Life Lessons.

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:ROFLMAO: Dave
 
Quarantine Lifted Lessons.

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:ROFLMAO: Dave
 
I don't want to be greedy or unrealistic so how about no island and change it to a lot of wine.
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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
World Religions - Simplified

Taoism = *#^! Happens.

Confucianism = Confucius say, "*#^! Happens."

Buddhism = If *#^! happens, it isn't really *#^! .

Zen = What is the sound of *#^! happening?

Hinduism = This *#^! happened before.

Islam = If *#^! happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestantism = Let *#^! happen to someone else.

Catholicism = If *#^! happens, you deserved it.

Judaism = Why does *#^! always happen to us?

Year 2020 Post-modernism = Visualize world *#^!.
 
An engineer dies and goes to hell.

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor is jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the satellite dish, and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up? The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer." "What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately." The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him." God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!" The Devil laughs. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"


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The God-Suing-the-Devil joke varies depending on your vocation.

Heaven & Hell occupy adjoining space and a fence divides them.
God notices that parts of the fence has fallen over onto Heaven.
He calls the Devil and tells him that he needs to fix his fence.
The Devil says: "It's your fence and there's no way 'in hell' I'll fix it."
God says he'll sue. The Devil laughs. "Where will you find a lawyer?"
 
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Sitting here envois of this gal on the move from one lake to another with no worries at all ,,,
 
Post-Quarantine Entertainment Learning Curve.

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:ROFLMAO: Dave
 
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