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Stay At Home Humor

Ken555

Tug Review Crew: Rookie
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
10,623
Reaction score
1,839
Points
498
Location
Los Angeles
Resorts Owned
Westin Kierland
Sheraton Desert Oasis

isisdave

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,135
Reaction score
617
Points
323
Location
Murrieta CA
After looking around town for three months,
Donald finally got a job at the zoo. They
were short on gorillas, so he had to dress up
in a hairy gorilla suit. He really didn’t mind,
though; and actually he had a lot of fun. One
day he got a little carried away when, in front
of a large group of people, he took a running
jump for the trapeze at the end of his cage
and missed it, tumbling down into the lion’s
den. He didn’t know what to do except cry out
HELP! The lion said, “Shut up or we’ll both
be fired!”
 

moonstone

Tug Review Crew: Rookie
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,017
Points
374
Location
Moonstone, ON
The other day I went over to a nearby CVS Pharmacy. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located.
I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.

The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.

I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"
Being I'm a senior citizen...I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.
When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?"
The pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!"
So I said, "Oh thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to get a pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"
Well, I can never go back to that CVS, but I really don't care though, because; they aren’t very friendly there anyway!!!
 

Karen G

Moderator
Joined
Aug 17, 2004
Messages
9,127
Reaction score
1,345
Points
749
Location
Henderson, NV
Resorts Owned
Once owned these: FirstFairway@Walden X 2; Lawai Beach; ManhattanClub; PuebloBonitoRose; 4 South Africa--now timeshare-free
Safety meeting at work:

They asked me "what steps would you take in the event of a fire?"

"Really big ones" was apparently not the right answer.
 

T_R_Oglodyte

TUG Lifetime Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
12,211
Reaction score
2,430
Points
648
Location
Belly-View, WA
More Chapelle: goodness - Wu-Tang Financial. (Uncensored and NSFW). Also backstory for the "diversify y'all bonds" line in the Racial Draft episode.

 

Jan M.

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
3,022
Reaction score
3,572
Points
448
Location
Tamarac, FL
Resorts Owned
Wyndham Presidential Reserve at Panama City Beach, Wyndham Grand Desert, Wyndham Waikiki Beach Walk, Wyndham National Harbor, Club Wyndham Access
Grandview Las Vegas and Discovery Beach Resort - Both in RCI Points
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