Stay At Home Humor

[clifffaith]

This one tickled me today:
“Marriage is sneezing three times and having someone yell JESUS CHRIST! from the other room”. I’m the one in the other room, but I have a tolerance level of five sneezes before I yell.

 

[#1 Cowboys Fan]

View attachment 96025

OK...help me with this one....I don't 'get it'.....

 

[Makai Guy]

OK...help me with this one....I don't 'get it'.....

Hint: When you first saw this, did you read the words at the top of the sign as "WHAT IF I TOLD YOU" instead of what is actually written?

 

[Passepartout]

 

[AJCts411]

 

[LannyPC]

View attachment 96012

Funny thing, we were at the store a couple of days ago and saw cauliflower pizza crust kits. I was debating whether to buy it or not but it was too expensive so I declined.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[clifffaith]

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

A dyslexic man walked into a bra .....

A dyslexic woman walked in to a meeting of DDAM ....

A dyslexic parishioner was praying to his dog .....

 

[Tank]

Working on it
One day at a time

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

An oldie but goodie ...

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asks. "You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." says the pirate.

"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" asked the bartender.

"We were in another battle." replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

So the bartender asks, "What about that eye patch?"

The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of sea gulls flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding, said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from bird poop."

The pirate responds, "It was my first day with the hook."

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

My neighbor got the results from a mental and physical examination, but he couldn't figure out what a TB test of 80 means. At the same time, his IQ test came back negative.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Victoria's Secret is releasing a series of World Cup-themed lingerie. First out is an English-inspired bra, featuring ample support, but lacking a cup.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Victoria's Secret is releasing a series of World Cup-themed lingerie. First out is an English-inspired bra, featuring ample support, but lacking a cup.

Also in the planning is a Canadian-inspired hockey bra. As with the England bra, the Canada bra will have ample support but will also not have a Cup.

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Makai Guy]

 

[pedro47]

View attachment 96502

That was funny nothing but knees.LOL

 

[Makai Guy]