Stay At Home Humor

[Gypsy65]

 

[Karen G]

This isn't a joke but is really amazing to watch:

 

[VacationForever]

This isn't a joke but is really amazing to watch:

Poor fish were suffocating in the carbonated and sugary liquid andwere surfacing for air.

 

[holdaer]

 

[easyrider]

The State of Kansas

· May 14 ·



The Kansas Department of Transportation (KDOT) found over 450 dead crows on I-35 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.

KDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah","Cah" not a single one could shout "Truck"!!!


wah wah

Bill

 

[MrockStar]

View attachment 20843

It definitely gets your attention!

 

[SmithOp]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine Sundays.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine Career Change.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Pretty much every day of the week right now.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Yep.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine appliance shopping.

Dave

 

[SmithOp]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

 

[plpgma]

View attachment 20843

Yeah -- Texas!!!

 

[plpgma]

The State of Kansas

· May 14 ·



The Kansas Department of Transportation (KDOT) found over 450 dead crows on I-35 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.

KDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah","Cah" not a single one could shout "Truck"!!!


wah wah

Bill

How odd that New England crows were in Kansas!

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you ALL my business!'

That's when she shot him.

********

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut

 

[AwayWeGo]

 

[Quilter]

Well the rainy season has now started here in southeast Florida so not ruling this out..

View attachment 20798

someone help me have a laugh. . .

I get that there's a tropical storm off Florida and now it's been connected to a thriller movie Sharknado. But please tell me the details of the guy and the white board full of disasters. Where does that come from?

 

[DaveNV]

Discovering your brilliant pet in quarantine.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine exercise.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Social distancing may have helped.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine spirituality.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine education.

Dave

 

[Luanne]

Quarantine Sundays.

View attachment 20847

Dave

That really is a thing.
Detroit priest spraying holy water.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Kevin had been feeling guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear a soothing small voice trying to reassure him: "Kevin, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And you’re single. Let it go."

But invariably, another small voice would bring him back to reality: "My God, Kevin! You're a veterinarian......."