A man was leaving the golf course when he encountered a bum panhandling. He said I'll give you $20 if you answer three question truthfully.
Will you spend it on alcohol? No sir, I gave up drinking 10 years ago.
Will you spend it on gambling? No sir, I gave up gambling 5 years ago.
Will you spend it on green fees? No sir, I gave up golf last year.
The man says get in my car, you're coming home with me. Oh no sir, I'm too dirty and smelly.
That's fine, I want to show my wife what happens to a man that gives up drinking, gambling, and golf!