Stay At Home Humor

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Who had this Pee-Chee folder, back in the day?

Dave

 

[Firepath]

Who had this Pee-Chee folder, back in the day?

View attachment 31668

Dave

That's the only kind we had.

 

[DaveNV]

That's the only kind we had.

Did you notice the top image on it? That's the joke.

Dave

 

[isisdave]

View attachment 31664

Dave

Way back when airplanes started to be hijacked but security hadn't been improved much, the joke was to bring your own bomb onboard, because while the probability of there being one there already was low, the probability of there being two was much smaller. [Statisticians will realize that this is not true; if the probability of you bringing yours is 1.0, the probability of someone else doing it is still the same.]

My uncle, back in the 50s and 60s, was a country doctor in the central valley of California, and used to pick up hitchhikers to relieve the boredom of long drives. He was always quick to announce that he was actually a probation officer, and hence armed.

 

[DaveNV]

Way back when airplanes started to be hijacked but security hadn't been improved much, the joke was to bring your own bomb onboard, because while the probability of there being one there already was low, the probability of there being two was much smaller. [Statisticians will realize that this is not true; if the probability of you bringing yours is 1.0, the probability of someone else doing it is still the same.]

Back when it was probably not a good idea to stand up on the plane and call out, to greet your fellow passenger friend, by yelling, "Hi Jack!"

Dave

 

[Ken555]

 

[Ken555]

Wow - over 4,000 posts! Thanks for keeping this thread light and funny.

 

[Ken555]

 

[DaveNV]

One Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small
church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly
woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks, until the
pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that
you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it
to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this?
How much does he send you?"

The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,"
the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

"In Nevada. He has two cathouses - one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno."

*****************************************

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[pedro47]

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
pretty Anthony's roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,
she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his
roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you
must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose
she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house;
I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it
has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son,
Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria,
and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed,
she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa

Moral:
Never Bulla Shitta your MaMa

******************************

Dave

This one I shared with my Gran Son and his Gran Mother ( The Commander-in-Chief) (My Spouse)

 

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[Tank]

 

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