Stay At Home Humor

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[Passepartout]

I'm SOOOO Bernie'd out!

 

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[DaveNV]

Nurdle would be a great cat name!

And if he was a 'fraidy cat, he'd be a Chicken Nurdle. LOL!

Dave

 

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[Ken555]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

 

[clifffaith]

This was the best of these by far, I thought.

 

[SmithOp]

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[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket,
two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases
and says, “Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home?

The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket,
carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry
the goose in your other hand?” “Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off
he went.

While walking home he met a little old lady who told him she was lost.
She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?”
The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live just down the road from
there. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”
The little old lady said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against
the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?”

The farmer said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two
chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up
against the wall and do that?”

She replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil
on top of the bucket … and I’ll hold the chickens.”

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Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Morning thoughtful humor...

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Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Tank]

 

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