Stay At Home Humor

[Tank]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[moonstone]

~Diane

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair.

Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result: the judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.

 

[DaveNV]

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair.

Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result: the judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.

Wow! That was painful. Thank you!

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[Passepartout]

Stay tuned for more 'WORK FROM HOME' tips!

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[clifffaith]

Nurdle would be a great cat name!

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Butch, the rooster, is legendary ......

Butch, with his cunning, had beaten out the other roosters and taken over as the alpha rooster in the coop. But Butch was getting older, and Farmer John's metrics showed he was slowing down. So Farmer John decided it was time to start bringing in some new rooster blood to begin to "help out" Butch. So one day Farmer John added a brand new stud rooster to the chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to Butch and says, "OK geezer, it's time for you to retire and become broth."

Butch replies, "Come on, one rooster can't handle all of these pullets. Look what it has done to me. Take it from a veteran. If you want to last in this game, you've got to be smart. I know I'm getting old, and I'm not as spry and quick as I used to be. So let me take care of the hens in that corner of the coop, and you can take care of the rest. Is it a deal? Don't be a fool."

The new rooster says, "Beat it, Butch. You're done, and Farmer John knows it. So I'm taking over and you're heading for the dinner table."

Butch says,, "I've still got a lot left, you young cock, and I'm not ready to retire. Tell you what. I will race you around the farmhouse. If you can beat me, you can rule the roost."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

Butch takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap and is only about 5 feet behind Butch and gaining fast.

Farmer John, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees Butch running by with the other rooster hot on his tail and gaining. Farmer John grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

Farmer John sadly shakes his head and mutters, "Damn.....that's the third gay rooster I’ve had to take out this month."

 

[LannyPC]

Nurdle would be a great cat name!

I didn't know that was a word. I'll have to remember that the next time I play Scrabble. Just add an S and it's a 7-letter word.

 

[Tank]

I was not a fan of this mime , it’s everywhere , kinda stupid.
it’s the end of the day and Walahh,
it made me smile.
This one was funny