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What can I pre-do as Executor to make things easy?

Talent312 said:
I assume my DW's identity online for most medical +financial purposes.
That includes medical portals, pharmacies, banks and brokerages.
But only becuz her Parkinson's makes it impossible for her to it herself.
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I did the same think myself once DW was diagnosed with dementia.
 
4TimeAway said:
My father was recently diagnosed and the good days are what we look forward to.

I'm sorry.

It is the greatest fear I have.
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I don’t know if there is much worse than losing your entire sense of self.
 
rapmarks said:
Sign your mother up online for her banking account, establish bill pay. A person with good intentions can handle paying the bills through that account
before my aunt died, Bank of America would not recognize my power of attorney. The $55000 in that account, went to her sister, deep in vascular dementia. This is well past the statute of limitations. Chase banker helped me set up online account with BoA, showed me how to pay the Nursing home and pharmacy bills online. I was able to cover about six months of fees with that money. Just keep account open and pay her bills for her.
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When my MIL died, the mortuary notified social security. Supposedly a standard procedure. Because they (SSI) were depositing the monthly SSI into my MIL's account, the bank was notified and they basically froze the account. My wife was on the account and was paying bills monthly and making deposits. But once they knew that the OWNER of the account was dead, she was frozen out. IMHO, if my wife was a co-owner of the account OR if the beneficiary of the account was my MIL's trust, it would have helped a LOT. Just having access to the account ceased when the owner died. Same thing for the Schwab investment account.

So, my advice is go to an estate attorney and make sure that you will have access after death and make sure (if there is a trust) that the trust is the beneficiary of all of the bank and investment accounts.
 
BJRSanDiego said:
When my MIL died, the mortuary notified social security. Supposedly a standard procedure. Because they (SSI) were depositing the monthly SSI into my MIL's account, the bank was notified and they basically froze the account. My wife was on the account and was paying bills monthly and making deposits. But once they knew that the OWNER of the account was dead, she was frozen out. IMHO, if my wife was a co-owner of the account OR if the beneficiary of the account was my MIL's trust, it would have helped a LOT. Just having access to the account ceased when the owner died. Same thing for the Schwab investment account.

So, my advice is go to an estate attorney and make sure that you will have access after death and make sure (if there is a trust) that the trust is the beneficiary of all of the bank and investment accounts.
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With my parent's trust(s) the checking account was outside the trust and I was a cosigner so I could pay their bills and handle their finances and their investment accounts
 
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Banks stopped comparing signatures on checks to paper records dozens of years ago. It's my guess that the number of online BillPay checks (especially recurring ones) ordered on behalf of persons who are incapacitated, incompetent, absent overseas, or just indifferent is astronomical, and also that almost all of them are done honestly.

I don't know of any data for this, but I have the feeling that if it were a big problem we'd hear more about the times it was done fraudulently.
 
BJRSanDiego said:
When my MIL died, the mortuary notified social security. Supposedly a standard procedure. Because they (SSI) were depositing the monthly SSI into my MIL's account, the bank was notified and they basically froze the account. My wife was on the account and was paying bills monthly and making deposits. But once they knew that the OWNER of the account was dead, she was frozen out. IMHO, if my wife was a co-owner of the account OR if the beneficiary of the account was my MIL's trust, it would have helped a LOT. Just having access to the account ceased when the owner died. Same thing for the Schwab investment account.

So, my advice is go to an estate attorney and make sure that you will have access after death and make sure (if there is a trust) that the trust is the beneficiary of all of the bank and investment accounts.
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Good to know, we didn’t have these things happen in my cases, but you are correct that the mortuary notifies social security

what a mess it would be if someone owned a home with numerous utilities that all got cut off upon death, but the home needed to be marketed for sale.
 
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Reading this series of comments confuses me. I thought this was a site to discuss "timeshare issues'. Here we have many giving anecdotal 'legal advice' and nothing about more relevant subjects like 'how to plan for or divesting of a Timeshare at a parent's death'. While lawyers fully support good estate planning and the use of probate where needed, they make a lot more money from families who follow advice like these comments offer. For example, naming children on 'all accounts' leaves creditors without a source of funds from which to be paid...even the funeral home...unless those 'children' voluntarily share in and pay those lawful expenses. Having spent my 50+ year career as both an attorney and a Judge, I can assure you that this type of legal advice is dangerous to follow without some real legal guidance. Now, how about some good advice on how to avoid inheriting a timeshare 'kids don't want' or something more in tune with TUG's purpose.
 
wmcmonigal said:
Reading this series of comments confuses me. I thought this was a site to discuss "timeshare issues'. Here we have many giving anecdotal 'legal advice' and nothing about more relevant subjects like 'how to plan for or divesting of a Timeshare at a parent's death'. While lawyers fully support good estate planning and the use of probate where needed, they make a lot more money from families who follow advice like these comments offer. For example, naming children on 'all accounts' leaves creditors without a source of funds from which to be paid...even the funeral home...unless those 'children' voluntarily share in and pay those lawful expenses. Having spent my 50+ year career as both an attorney and a Judge, I can assure you that this type of legal advice is dangerous to follow without some real legal guidance. Now, how about some good advice on how to avoid inheriting a timeshare 'kids don't want' or something more in tune with TUG's purpose.
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Um, this is The Lounge, we talk about everything. I know how to deal with a dishwasher that stinks, thanks to the TUG Lounge.
 
wmcmonigal said:
Reading this series of comments confuses me. I thought this was a site to discuss "timeshare issues'....
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Party pooper.
The purpose of this particular forum is to discuss all manner of human activities.
There's a lot armchair quarterbacking, but some of us have hands-on experience.

How to avoid inheriting a TS? That's been the topic of numerous threads.
Use the "Search" feature and you will find them.
,
 
Talent312 said:
Party pooper.
The purpose of this particular forum is to discuss all manner of human activities.
There's a lot armchair quarterbacking, but some of us have hands-on experience.

How to avoid inheriting a TS? That's been the topic of numerous threads.
Use the "Search" feature and you will find them.
,
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Which is far more useful than decades of legal training.
 
Lol, my lawyer is also a cpa. I went to him with a list of questions his reply was “do you have over 13 million”. When I said no, He’d wave his hand. He took care of the trust tax return, and told me that I could probably handle it in the future. Same lawyers advocate that they can only be the source of information. Yet estate problems seem to come in two ways, not having any estate plans, or lawyer making an error of omission in estate plans.
I didn’t see loads of bad advice here, I think it was clarified for a faith that if bank account is in the trust, she can’t be added to it.
 
That and its nice to have some cash outside the trust to handle some of the toughter items, like:

to charge or not to charge
celebration of life (note: this was not done for my grandmother and it still hasn't happened)
 
clifffaith said:
Um, this is The Lounge, we talk about everything. I know how to deal with a dishwasher that stinks, thanks to the TUG Lounge.
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Well, you obviously are getting much advice that is worthless (you get what you pay for comes to mind) thanks to those who are openly promoting fraud and identity theft.
 
LeslieDet said:
Well, you obviously are getting much advice that is worthless (you get what you pay for comes to mind) thanks to those who are openly promoting fraud and identity theft.
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Do you really think it is uncommon to have a child take over paying bills when a parent gets too infirm to handle it. And doing it online.
 
rapmarks said:
Do you really think it is uncommon to have a child take over paying bills when a parent gets too infirm to handle it. And doing it online.
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If the person has dementia and does not have a durable power of attorney in place, then the only legal way for someone to manage that person's affairs and bank accounts is to have a legal conservatorship created. Short of that, it could be a crime. I'm not saying that the person is absolutely stealing from the one with dementia, but legally, you do not have the right to impersonate anyone else. That is identity theft.
 
I could take the time to write the deceptive and incompetent things lawyers did to us but it’s a pretty long tale
 
LeslieDet said:
If the person has dementia and does not have a durable power of attorney in place, then the only legal way for someone to manage that person's affairs and bank accounts is to have a legal conservatorship created. Short of that, it could be a crime. I'm not saying that the person is absolutely stealing from the one with dementia, but legally, you do not have the right to impersonate anyone else. That is identity theft.
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My wife does have dementia and does have a durable POA and she resigned as a trustee for our Trust, so I don't think I am doing anything illegal.
 
LeslieDet said:
If the person has dementia and does not have a durable power of attorney in place, then the only legal way for someone to manage that person's affairs and bank accounts is to have a legal conservatorship created. Short of that, it could be a crime. I'm not saying that the person is absolutely stealing from the one with dementia, but legally, you do not have the right to impersonate anyone else. That is identity theft.
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Stealing is certainly a crime, as is elder abuse. I think most of the posts have been how to avoid this.

Also, it has been stated repeatedly that she should seek competent legal counsel.

Nobody has reviewed any legal documents nor offered professional advice as far as I recall.
 
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dago said:
My wife does have dementia and does have a durable POA and she resigned as a trustee for our Trust, so I don't think I am doing anything illegal.
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Of course not, but those are important facts. IDK if it was you who simply said you were pretending to be her online or not. If you have a DPOA, then you're not pretending. You are acting under the DPOA. That is the difference.
 
LeslieDet said:
It is not for the daughter to decide if her mother does or does not want a DNR. That is horrible advice.
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My point was that if her mother is in good mental shape, offer those things (Will, DNR, etc) to her. If her mom does not want a DNR and/or does not want a Will, she made those decisions with a clear mind. The alternative, as I mentioned, is to fight it out with Probate attorneys and families. It's good advice to offer, bad advice would be to force it (which I am not advocating).

TS
 
simpsontruckdriver said:
My point was that if her mother is in good mental shape, offer those things (Will, DNR, etc) to her. If her mom does not want a DNR and/or does not want a Will, she made those decisions with a clear mind. The alternative, as I mentioned, is to fight it out with Probate attorneys and families. It's good advice to offer, bad advice would be to force it (which I am not advocating).

TS
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100%!

Be Stoic about having tried to be helpful but not connected to the outcome nor wanting to control the situation.

We all want to ignore our own mortality, human frailty and even health conditions. Extend grace to all.

Offer and let go.
 
simpsontruckdriver said:
My point was that if her mother is in good mental shape, offer those things (Will, DNR, etc) to her. If her mom does not want a DNR and/or does not want a Will, she made those decisions with a clear mind. The alternative, as I mentioned, is to fight it out with Probate attorneys and families. It's good advice to offer, bad advice would be to force it (which I am not advocating).

TS
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Of course wills are important, as is a DPOA and a healthcare POA. But suggesting a DNR is something that isn't going to end up involving a lawyer. The question is does the mother want or not want life saving steps to be taken if something happens to her. There could be religious implications too. A DNR says "do not resuscitate" -- ie "let her die". That isn't even in the same ballpark as a will.
 
simpsontruckdriver said:
My point was that if her mother is in good mental shape, offer those things (Will, DNR, etc) to her. If her mom does not want a DNR and/or does not want a Will, she made those decisions with a clear mind. The alternative, as I mentioned, is to fight it out with Probate attorneys and families. It's good advice to offer, bad advice would be to force it (which I am not advocating).

TS
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My aunts used to have dnr signs all over their apartment. We were given explicit instructions to let them go. Ten years ago, it was feeding tube or hospice. I did what my aunt wanted, but I feel terrible about it.
 
rapmarks said:
My aunts used to have dnr signs all over their apartment. We were given explicit instructions to let them go. Ten years ago, it was feeding tube or hospice. I did what my aunt wanted, but I feel terrible about it.
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What a burden. I have family members that went through the same. Please realize that it was her choice about her mind and body, and you respected her dignity and autonomy. Whatever your personal wants, beliefs or wishes, you respected her right to choose how she passed. I can only hope that my loved ones would do the same for me.
 
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