What can I pre-do as Executor to make things easy?

[clifffaith]

I am Executor of my 89 year old mother’s estate. She has been busily doing maintenance on her home and decluttering to make things “easier” for me when she dies.

For several years, back before my father died, I have been agitating to be added to her checkbook. To me that would make it “easy” to keep the gardeners, utilities and misc bills paid, and allow for some breathing space before showing up at her bank and Charles Schwab to close accounts. Last December she went in to her bank, after being unable to speak with anyone at the local branch on the phone, to set a date for an appt where I would accompany her to do whatever was necessary to get my signature on her account. They told her they needed to review her trust documents. She brings those to them and then for the next two months she got the runaround about who was reviewing the documents and they’d get back to her. She probably followed up three times before moving on to other projects. I said screw that, let’s close the account and open one somewhere else with both our names on it. She didn’t want to do that “yet”, so here we are with nothing done.

For those of you who have closed a parent’s estate, what should she/I be doing now to smooth the way? Of course the biggest question is will my sister actually move out of Mom’s house after the in-writing agreement that she has three months to find somewhere to go, or will I have to evict her so the house can be sold and proceeds split.

 

[Dori]

Sorry I don’t have any advice other than to get your (and your sister’s) names on as many documents and accounts as you can. I will always be so grateful to my mom for all her preparations to make things easier for us upon her death.
After she sold her house and move into a seniors residence, she put my name, as well as my brother’s and sister’s names, on all of her bank accounts, investments, etc.

She kept detailed information of her various insurance policies, etc. in concise folders.

When she passed away in 2008, at age 95, it was so easy to finalize all her affairs, without the need for any probate of her estate.

I hope that she can get things sorted out at the bank, as this step would make things so much smoother.

Good luck!

Dori

 

[GetawaysRus]

I've been working on my mom's estate since February. She had a will rather than a trust. Here's one thing I learned.

Make sure you have the signed ORIGINAL of the estate documents, or at the very least you know exactly where it is. After my mom died, I learned that I only had a copy. My mother had gone to her attorney's office alone to pick up the original of her will. She never told me that, and only God knows where she put it.

This is apparently a common problem, and the courts are able to deal with it. It caused a 3 month delay at the outset until the probate court accepted the copy that I had.

Tip #2: adjust your expectations. Things take longer than you would expect they should.

 

[BJRSanDiego]

I'd recommend seeing an estate attorney. My wife's parents died last year. They had a will and trust.when the FIL passed, the MIL got everything. But when she opened new bank and investment accounts she did not designate the trust as the beneficiary. So it has ended up in probate.
So, it is important to see a trust attached before mom passes.

 

[geist1223]

I do not recommend putting all the Kids names on all Accounts. This only works if everyone is cooperating, friendly, and in total agreement/sync. It is not uncommon for disagreements to arise after a parent's death. Patt's Mom put
Labels on the back or underside to show it it went to Patti or Donna. For the unmarked items her Mom said split it evenly and if both wanted the same item to toss a coin.

 

[simpsontruckdriver]

If your mother is sane, no memory issues (Dementia or Alzheimers), and has a firm grasp on reality, it may be easier to get a Will - and possibly a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate - to get things in order. When my wife died due to malpractice in 2021, Probate was a costly hassle, but it wasn't terrible. That way, when her day comes, family should know the Will is the final word. As others have said, make sure all her legal documents (accounts, life insurance, retirement, Will, etc) are in one place. The less work you need to do after her death, the better.

TS

 

[Patri]

Get your name on her bank accounts as a joint owner. Not as an authorized user. My parents added me a few years before their health declined and everything was then so easy. I could get into their safe deposit box too. For something, we saw a lawyer. He talked to them privately to make sure they weren’t being co-erced. My folks were so wise and realistic, and settling their affairs was a breeze, even from a distance.

 

[dago]

I agree with @Patri. Get your name on her accounts as a joint owner.

 

[joestein]

I would recommend pre-paying for what funeral services you plan on getting. We pre-paid for my mother (after my father died) - it was very easy I just had to call them and they took care of everything. All the details had been settled in advance.

If there are personal effects you dont want to sell, figure out how to distribute those items. My siblings and I rolled dice. We picked out stuff in highest roll to lowest roll order.

 

[Dori]

I do not recommend putting all the Kids names on all Accounts. This only works if everyone is cooperating, friendly, and in total agreement/sync. It is not uncommon for disagreements to arise after a parent's death. Patt's Mom put
Labels on the back or underside to show it it went to Patti or Donna. For the unmarked items her Mom said split it evenly and if both wanted the same item to toss a coin.

Luckily, my sibs and I are very close, and there were never any problems. Everything was split evenly between the three of us. But I have heard horror stories about parents' estates.

Dori

 

[4TimeAway]

It can quickly go sideways.

We had the accounts naming beneficiaries at 50/50. The banks and investments paid that so no fuss.

The house was in the trust and to be split 3 ways. A family member was living in it. We got an appraisal, took of a couple percent or the realtor fees and a few more percent for deterred repairs. Lots of spreadsheets showing costs for attorney, accountants, etc. and were able to disperse most of it in under 6 months, and then the rest at things were finalized the rest was released.

Personal property was the pour over will and only a couple items were upsetting, but nobody really needed any of the stuff and it wasn't worth a fight.

I've seen some that are not organized and not well communicated turn to a disaster.

 

[rapmarks]

Is the bank account in the trust or in her name? If in a trust, trust document will show you as successor trustee and bank told me that is sufficient. Contrary to what is widely said, banks do not close account immediately. Three banks in three states advised me to leave my husbands name on account for at least a year in case checks came in with his name. You have to have a place to deposit it.
here is a strange scenario. We did a trust in 1997. at that time the lawyer prepared unrecorded deeds for our second home and the adjacent lot. I went to record them and also show his death certificate. The recording clerk would not take either, it had to be done online. I hired a lawyer to handle it for me. He called me and said, you have a deed here with both your signatures,ball I have to do is file them and they will be in your trust. So they took them from him and not from me. In fact, our township supervisor was shocked the county would not record the death certificate. In Florida, I mailed the death certificate in with a $20 check and it was taken care of.
anyhow, my aunts added me to one checking account years before they passed away. I was able to pay their bills before and after death.

as far as a trust, the affidavit of trust is all they have and it is sufficient until you disburse assets. then they will want to see the distribution instructions in the trust.

 

[Talent312]

All of our accounts are joint w-ROS, and then payable to the kids.
Our checking acct has one child as a co-owner for instant needs.

Our house and TS's are the only assets that are subject to probate.
I thought about putting the house in a trust, or giving it to the kids
and reserving a life estate, but will likely just sell before it's too late.

 

[DeniseM]

When my mom was terminally ill, my brother and I quietly purchased a burial plan, and made sure the plot that she owned was available.

 

[clifffaith]

as far as a trust, the affidavit of trust is all they have and it is sufficient until you disburse assets. then they will want to see the distribution instructions in the trust.

So Bank and Charles Schwab would each issue two checks to divide the accounts 50/50? I was hoping monies would come to me to distribute as executor of her estate. That would give me some leverage to get my sister out of the house in order to sell it — “vacate the home and I’ll distribute the bank accounts while we wait for house to sell”.
Now I’m wondering whose name would be on escrow closing— seems like bank account may need to be open to accept a check in Mom’s name. We do have an excellent accountant that would help us through this, but just doing lots of preemptive fretting now.

 

[4TimeAway]

So Bank and Charles Schwab would each issue two checks to divide the accounts 50/50? I was hoping monies would come to me to distribute as executor of her estate. That would give me some leverage to get my sister out of the house in order to sell it — “vacate the home and I’ll distribute the bank accounts while we wait for house to sell”.
Now I’m wondering whose name would be on escrow closing— seems like bank account may need to be open to accept a check in Mom’s name. We do have an excellent accountant that would help us through this, but just doing lots of preemptive fretting now.

If she stays, she pays.

It was my mother, uncle and step-aunt so it was a bit more difficult and wasn't an issue in my family.

The value model you use is the tricky part, but not paying money and it being done has value.

Sometimes the person in the house takes care of the person and that gets trickier. You try to follow the parents' wishes and move on.

I try to remind myself that it's not my money nor my wishes.


Good luck!

 

[rapmarks]

So Bank and Charles Schwab would each issue two checks to divide the accounts 50/50? I was hoping monies would come to me to distribute as executor of her estate. That would give me some leverage to get my sister out of the house in order to sell it — “vacate the home and I’ll distribute the bank accounts while we wait for house to sell”.
Now I’m wondering whose name would be on escrow closing— seems like bank account may need to be open to accept a check in Mom’s name. We do have an excellent accountant that would help us through this, but just doing lots of preemptive fretting now.

You don’t have to disburse the money right away. I remember the accountant saying to hold off.

 

[Brett]

So Bank and Charles Schwab would each issue two checks to divide the accounts 50/50? I was hoping monies would come to me to distribute as executor of her estate. That would give me some leverage to get my sister out of the house in order to sell it — “vacate the home and I’ll distribute the bank accounts while we wait for house to sell”.
Now I’m wondering whose name would be on escrow closing— seems like bank account may need to be open to accept a check in Mom’s name. We do have an excellent accountant that would help us through this, but just doing lots of preemptive fretting now.

If you're the executor and it is a trust then yes, you would distribute the money, not Charles Schwab.
For my parent's trust I sold securities in the trust after her death and distributed the proceeds to the beneficiaries (me and my brother) by wire transfer. When my mother was still living we sold her condo (titled in the trust's name) and put that money in the trust which was later distributed after her death

 

[rapmarks]

When we split in laws trust, holdings divided down middle by broker and moved into accounts either with him or to another firm, for B trust, all bonds, i designated who got which ones, each person got equal amount, stayed in same firms with separate new accounts.
I would not want most of my holdings to be sold on my death, they are good investments. a lot of thought went into the investments.
My children directly inherited Ira and another account from my husband, the companies handled that.
I had to show vanguard specific pages in the trust agreement to get them to put one account in my name and take my deceased husband off.

 

[klpca]

If you have an estate worth more than a few thousand dollars (i.e. a house + some investment accounts) do yourself a favor and to consult a trust & estate attorney before doing anything. There could be some tax saving opportunities available and doing things the wrong way can ultimately cost you some money. There are no do-overs here. The laws vary from state to state so while someone's advice could be correct in their state, it could be very incorrect in your state. This is not the time to try to be thrifty.

 

[elaine]

My Mom's major holdings are in Revocable trust, with operating assets brokerage and small accounts in her name with my as POA. Our financial advisor put that brokerage account as TOD (transfer upon death) and said to get ALL bank accounts listed as POD (payable upon death). If no other assets, estate should be able to bypass probate. She no longer has any RE. I agree, with PP, esp with RE, probate is not that bad.

 

[callwill]

This has all been very helpful for me to read. My mother is 90. Lives alone in lakefront home that is 3-4 hours from the nearest of us. She was planning her Will revised but fell in her driveway the day she was to meet with layer breaking her pelvis(2nd time! Last time was 12 yrs ago!). I am the named executor. She has much of her financial stuff arranged with me having acct access to pay bills and various people set to inherit various things(will be a bit revised in the new will) She tells me she has instructions to sell the house and split the proceeds. I keep prompting her to make a new appt and get that will done but she keeps delaying it. Did i mention she is smoking 1-2 packs of cigs a day?... That she has very large aneurysm discovered over 3yrs ago with a stated life expectancy back then of 3yrs!

 

[Icc5]

I am Executor of my 89 year old mother’s estate. She has been busily doing maintenance on her home and decluttering to make things “easier” for me when she dies.

For several years, back before my father died, I have been agitating to be added to her checkbook. To me that would make it “easy” to keep the gardeners, utilities and misc bills paid, and allow for some breathing space before showing up at her bank and Charles Schwab to close accounts. Last December she went in to her bank, after being unable to speak with anyone at the local branch on the phone, to set a date for an appt where I would accompany her to do whatever was necessary to get my signature on her account. They told her they needed to review her trust documents. She brings those to them and then for the next two months she got the runaround about who was reviewing the documents and they’d get back to her. She probably followed up three times before moving on to other projects. I said screw that, let’s close the account and open one somewhere else with both our names on it. She didn’t want to do that “yet”, so here we are with nothing done.

For those of you who have closed a parent’s estate, what should she/I be doing now to smooth the way? Of course the biggest question is will my sister actually move out of Mom’s house after the in-writing agreement that she has three months to find somewhere to go, or will I have to evict her so the house can be sold and proceeds split.

I've had to be executor on 2 different family members. On the 1st the biggest issue was I didn't know I was the executor until after my aunt passed. If I would have known I would have asked many questions such as buried,creamated,where,etc. Our biggest issue turned out to be financial. When she went downhill her and my Mom had her put in a rest home which turned out worst thing ever. When she passed I found out I was executor so in starting I found out she had plenty of money in fact enough that we could have kept her at home with a full time caregiver. We all felt that her going to the resthome probably knocked 1-2 years off her life. She was absolutely miserable there.
With the 2nd one it wasmy oldest brother and half of his accounts were not set up good. He had several of the same stocks in 2-3 different accounts also his 401 still listed a deceased brother on it so I'd say make sure everything is up to date for ease of distribution without having to get a lawyer or judge involved.
Bart

 

[louisianab]

I'm going to point out that there should be a backup executor, written instructions for everything in one folder, familial understanding and a gentle reminder for everyone to have their own estates organized no matter their age.
My husband's grandmother died in her 80s in the fall a few years ago. She had a poorly organized plan with two of her children (my MIL and her sister) as executors, but the dispersal was not clearly written between them and the other children. Since it took place over two calendar years, the estate had to file taxes twice. Then my MIL unexpectedly passed away and had no plan. I don't know if either estate is/was properly settled, even with later legal involvement. Depending on state, spouse does not just get everything and I think that was a hard lesson for my FIL.

 

[jp10558]

I've seen it go both ways - my grandmother and father both had everything transferred except some credit card debt well before they passed away. They had beneficiaries listed in the other accounts like retirement etc. So that went very smoothly,I think the biggest hassle is NYSEG that cannot transfer an account, and has to close one and open a new one. My mom lost a solar discount my dad had on the account when he passed. My grandmothers house is still owned by my mom, and that NYSEG account is still in my grandmothers name 17 years on I think, with a care of address. NYSEG didn't seem to care to take a death certificate or do anything as long as the bill is paid. Should have done that with my dad, except I didn't realize "doing it right" would cost money.

Then there's my brother in law's father - he just didn't have a will, finally was going to do one, and died 2 weeks before signing the will. It's been 6-8 years and I think everyone just gave up on ever figuring out the estate. Their family doesn't have enough follow through to actually get it through court, nor money to actually pay specialist lawyers, so it's just sitting there. It's stupid, half the family doesn't want to work with everyone to split up the land / house assets to get money, but also doesn't really have the funds or attention to fight in court so it just sits. IDK, I guess it can sit there indefinitely if someone pays the land tax minimums. I really don't know.

Then there was a family friends mother who both never managed the money, it was her husband, but after he passed 10 years ago just didn't want to show her daughter anything financial. Not that the mother even knew what she had. After she passed, the friend is just finding dozens of random $1k, $4k etc stock accounts, IRAs, insurance accounts etc. I think it's going to turn out to be close to half a million, yet the mom never spent any money, wouldn't fix up the house in the decade living there etc. She just didn't know what she had, and she didn't want her daughter finding out till she died. (Like, WTF? It doesn't look better just cause you hid it longer.)

And last there's an uncle who co-owns property that they explicitly seem to want a judge to figure out after they die. They put everything else in trusts, or mentioned in their will, but this property they just won't talk about and won't give any indication what should happen with it. They have been actively pushing this judge figure it out my entire adult life (25 years). This is another WTF. I used to think they just didn't want to face mortality, but now that they're doing estate planning with the rest of their estate... IDK. I'd say I didn't care, but it happens to be the property that is shared with my mom and so eventually the mess may become mine. And it's sadly the property we'd actually care the most about. This was where my grandmother did screw up - she shouldn't have listened to a general local lawyer in 1982 and instead should have done a trust with this property to accomplish what she thought she was accomplishing by putting her kids on the deed as co-owners. What a mess.