Frustrated with my other half, I just can’t get him to understand the risks

[CalGalTraveler]

If you cannot come to agreement to carve out separate spaces and bathrooms, that's disappointing. I would look for an AirBnB or VRBO single family home close by that you could rent by the month. They will be happy to rent to you.

 

[CalGalTraveler]

Basically staying away from him. I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen.

Wow. Just Wow. Sounds like he is doing this to irritate you. I am sorry to hear you going through this. Hang in there.

 

[rapmarks]

My husband would do the same thing if he could still drive. This is probably happening everywhere. What will the world be like when this is over. My husband is losing all socialization, which helps slow the progress of his disease. I could send him off to,play golf tomorrow, but he would ride shoulder to shoulder with someone who might not have been careful

 

[TravelTime]

Basically staying away from him. I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen. I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching. Air Droplets I have no control. Staying home is the best option right now.

The least he could do is respect your boundaries about bathrooms. I would lay down the law and tell him to use his in bathroom, that yours is off limits. Maybe you should ask him to rent an AirBnB until this is over if he will not at least try to adhere to some basic safety precautions and home guidelines. But on the positive side, most people will not get Covid-19 and those who do will have no symptoms or mild symptoms. I understand you may have some underlying conditions, though, that might put you at greater risk.

P.S. I just saw a preview of 60 Minutes and they will be reporting on an anti-viral drug tonight.

 

[goaliedave]

Wow. Just Wow. Sounds like he is doing this to irritate you.

Thoughts and prayers I don't know you obviously, and do not mean this next comment personally at all. As part of Canada's response the govt has funded extra abuse centres and beds as health experts are predicting an increase in spousal abuse from spending so much time together.

I'm currently on my annual winter snowbird timeshare trip. With occupancy at 10% max, plenty of tp, toiletries, etc locations close to outdoor activities , they are awesome places to be.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk

 

[Panina]

The least he could do is respect your boundaries about bathrooms. I would lay down the law and tell him to use his in bathroom, that yours is off limits. Maybe you should ask him to rent an AirBnB until this is over if he will not at least try to adhere to some basic safety precautions and home guidelines. But on the positive side, most people will not get Covid-19 and those who do will have no symptoms or mild symptoms. I understand you may have some underlying conditions, though, that might put you at greater risk.

P.S. I just saw a preview of 60 Minutes and they will be reporting on an anti-viral drug tonight.

I have tried all the boundaries stuff. He will not leave. I accepted that this is how it is.

imo he is much more at risk then me. I had the flu and was able to recover as well as possible a mild case of the virus now looking back. He always struggles with respiratory illnesses and has a 24/7 irregular heartbeat.

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Basically staying away from him. I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen. I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching. Air Droplets I have no control. Staying home is the best option right now.

I’m so sorry your going thru this. With this being a stressful time in and of itself, it’s sad that he will not be considerate of you and your health.
I’m hoping that things get better

 

[Panina]

Thoughts and prayers I don't know you obviously, and do not mean this next comment personally at all. As part of Canada's response the govt has funded extra abuse centres and beds as health experts are predicting an increase in spousal abuse from spending so much time together.

I'm currently on my annual winter snowbird timeshare trip. With occupancy at 10% max, plenty of tp, toiletries, etc locations close to outdoor activities , they are awesome places to be.

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk

I would say ignored is my problem as he has his head in the sand.

 

[VacationForever]

Can you not tell him which is your designated bathroom and draw the line in the sand that if he does not respect your wish, then he does not respect you and your marriage is in jeopardy?

I am sorry. I would threaten divorce if my husband disrepects me.

 

[alwysonvac]

I did a google search (using “couples coping covid 19”) and found the following articles, hopefully one of them will help you and anyone else having a difficult time.

1. Social Distancing Gone Wrong: Couples in Corona Crisis - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...istancing-gone-wrong-couples-in-corona-crisis
2. “You Want to Do What?” COVID-19 and Relationship Coping - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...want-do-what-covid-19-and-relationship-coping
3. Quarantine can test any relationship. A couples therapist explains how to cope - https://www.vox.com/culture/2020/3/...and-wife-roommate-family-couples-therapy-cope
4. Winning an Argument with a Difficult Intimate Partner - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...7/winning-argument-difficult-intimate-partner
5. How to handle coronavirus tension with relationships and roommates - https://nypost.com/2020/03/18/how-to-handle-coronavirus-tension-with-relationships-and-roommates/
6. Quarreling during quarantine: How to keep the peace with your partner - https://www.usatoday.com/story/life...ionships-healthy-fights-solutions/5074960002/
7. How to stay married through coronavirus - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-21/how-to-stay-married-through-coronavirus/12073778

 

[goaliedave]

I would say ignored is my problem as he has his head in the sand.

We're all with you on this

Sent from my SM-A505G using Tapatalk

 

[Panina]

I did a google search (using “couples coping covid 19”) and found the following articles, hopefully one of them will help you and anyone else having a difficult time.

1. Social Distancing Gone Wrong: Couples in Corona Crisis - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...istancing-gone-wrong-couples-in-corona-crisis
2. “You Want to Do What?” COVID-19 and Relationship Coping - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...want-do-what-covid-19-and-relationship-coping
3. Quarantine can test any relationship. A couples therapist explains how to cope - https://www.vox.com/culture/2020/3/...and-wife-roommate-family-couples-therapy-cope
4. Winning an Argument with a Difficult Intimate Partner - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...7/winning-argument-difficult-intimate-partner
5. How to handle coronavirus tension with relationships and roommates - https://nypost.com/2020/03/18/how-to-handle-coronavirus-tension-with-relationships-and-roommates/
6. Quarreling during quarantine: How to keep the peace with your partner - https://www.usatoday.com/story/life...ionships-healthy-fights-solutions/5074960002/
7. How to stay married through coronavirus - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-21/how-to-stay-married-through-coronavirus/12073778

So much to read, maybe it will help

 

[TravelTime]

I am lucky. My DH and I are not quarreling. We do not fight all that much. We had a brief argument over why he convinced me to move forward with the house purchase given the coronavirus crisis when I wanted to back out. Now we are backing out but all contingencies have already been lifted so we are losing a high 5 figure deposit. We are hoping the seller will split the deposit with us since half the deposit would probably cover his expenses for at least 6 months until he can sell it. My agent said he is getting legal counsel so I suspect he will not agree. I was blaming my DH for this last night and he reminded me why we made the decision and he said it is not worth ruining our marriage over. I agreed and we stopped arguing.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Just caught this video:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1241803403619172359

 

[Mongoose]

Panina, I know this is not much comfort, however if you are in good health, get your rest and keep your immune system strong, in the event you contract SARS-CoV2 the odds are with you that it will be mild. People most at risk are smokers, persons with compromised immune systems and those with chronic circulatory and respiratory diseases. Be Safe.

 

[TravelTime]

Panina, I know this is not much comfort, however if you are in good health, get your rest and keep your immune system strong, in the event you contract SARS-CoV2 the odds are with you that it will be mild. People most at risk are smokers, persons with compromised immune systems and those with chronic circulatory and respiratory diseases. Be Safe.

And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.

 

[CalGalTraveler]

And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.

Are you using the total China population as the denominator? or the Wuhan quarantine population as the basis? The latter would be more realistic since they walled off the quarantine area so other regions would not have been fully exposed to the virus.

 

[JanT]

I've tried not to comment on this again but this post makes me so angry for you. Please forgive me for saying this but your husband is being a passive-aggressive ass. I don't know why, but he is. He is putting not only his own health at risk but yours, as well. In addition, he is putting everyone else's health at risk that he comes into contact with. Why? Just to prove that you can't tell him what to do? You're a lot nicer than I am obviously because I would have packed a bag for him and pushed him out the door. I won't say the rest of what's on my mind but I will tell you I am praying for you and hope that you will stay safe and well. God bless you, Panina. I wish there was some way I could help.

Basically staying away from him. I locked the bedroom door, he slept in his man cave but as soon as I came out he ran in and used that bathroom. There are two others, one in his man cave. There is no way I can limit him, he won’t listen. I can only stay away from him and wipe anything before touching. Air Droplets I have no control. Staying home is the best option right now.

 

[TravelTime]

Are you using the total China population? or the Wuhan quarantine population as the basis? The latter would be more realistic since they walled off the quarantine area so other regions would not have been exposed to the virus.

Total population since that is how countries are measuring this. There were 2100 deaths in Wuhan (pop = 11 million) out of the total of 3200 in China. The death rate in Wuhan is 0.02% based on population. So if we use this percentage to extrapolate for the USA, we will have up to 70,000 deaths but probably much less since we also have cases concentrated in epicenters so it would be incorrect to multiply by the total US population. I suspect in the end that Covid-19 will be like a bad flu in its death rate.

Wuhan coronavirus death rate far lower than thought, with 1.4 percent mortality from COVID-19

News comes as the city announces no new cases for the first time in over two months.

www.newsweek.com

 

[Panina]

Thank you for all your support. Just having you all to vent to helps. I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is exposing myself. I never give up hope. I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising.

 

[Mongoose]

And remember the percentage of people in China who have died from covid-19 is 0.00%. It is such a small percentage that it does not register.

First of all you can't believe what China is saying. Their lies, denials and coverups created this mess. Second, we need to keep it in perspective, unless you have a chronic illness this is likely to be mild if you get it. It is deadly to people in high risk categoriges and they should take precautions. The bigest threat now is the impact it will have on social order.

 

[Mongoose]

Thank you for all your support. Just having you all to vent to helps. I don’t feel alone. I know I cannot be the only one, just the one who is exposing myself. I never give up hope. I am taking care of myself now with sleep, eating well and exercising. ❤

When this is over, find somebody that deserves you. You certainly deserve better.

 

[geekette]

Door locks.

I've tried not to comment on this again but this post makes me so angry for you. Please forgive me for saying this but your husband is being a passive-aggressive ass. I don't know why, but he is. He is putting not only his own health at risk but yours, as well. In addition, he is putting everyone else's health at risk that he comes into contact with. Why? Just to prove that you can't tell him what to do? You're a lot nicer than I am obviously because I would have packed a bag for him and pushed him out the door. I won't say the rest of what's on my mind but I will tell you I am praying for you and hope that you will stay safe and well. God bless you, Panina. I wish there was some way I could help.

I would also have changed the locks.

Someone that enjoys your being scared out of your mind doesn't deserve to come back in.

 

[geekette]

First of all you can't believe what China is saying. Their lies, denials and coverups created this mess. Second, we need to keep it in perspective, unless you have a chronic illness this is likely to be mild if you get it. It is deadly to people in high risk categoriges and they should take precautions. The bigest threat now is the impact it will have on social order.

.
The poster's perspective is from being HIGH RISK. Why do you think she is frightened?? I'm sure she appreciates your adding the word deadly. That's as helpful as her husband, refusing to take precautions.

The biggest threat Is Not impact on social order. It's DEATH. Do you for sure know which set of stats you will land in? None of us do.

 

[Panina]

Door locks.

I would also have changed the locks.

Someone that enjoys your being scared out of your mind doesn't deserve to come back in.

If it was that easy. One could break into their home or call the police easily to get back in.