Frustrated with my other half, I just can’t get him to understand the risks

[Panina]

I am so frustrated, I am being so careful, staying in now. My other half has been out each day. Today to the supermarket just for 4 items which he really didn’t need and just now he went to Lowe’s to get a caulking gun. I can’t get him to understand that unnecessary trips should not be made. I consider myself lucky that his gym closed or he would go there too. Any one having issue like this with their other half?

 

[CalGalTraveler]

My DH kept insisting on going into work even though he could work remotely from home. I kept wondering what was going to happen if he became ill...or he gave it to me. Would we have to isolate into separate rooms? How could one care for the other without becoming ill?

I am now relieved because the shelter in place mandates that we work from home. Our gym is now closed too.

 

[Panina]

My DH kept insisting on going into work even though he could work remotely from home. I kept wondering what was going to happen if he became ill...or he gave it to me. Would we have to isolate into separate rooms? How could one care for the other without becoming ill?

I am now relieved because the shelter in place mandates that we work from home. Our gym is now closed too.

I am glad you can feel relieved. I don’t think I ever will. We don’t have a shelter mandate yet but that wouldn’t stop him from going to the grocery. I hope he doesn’t bring it home. I figure if he has or does by me staying in I would reduce the spread. Truthfully if I had somewhere else to go I would leave as this is making me nervous. I actually think staying at a hotel is more dangerous.

 

[bbodb1]

If this helps, Panina - I, another of the male species, went out today too and on things that could have waited. I had the tires rotated at Sam's, picked up some groceries, stopped by Kroger to get items from there and then headed home.
Maintained a good social distance at all times, wiped all carts before using and limited personal interaction.
Could it be he is using good hygiene practices when he is out? You certainly hope that is the case. We live in an area with few cases in our state and none in our city. I guess you might say my behavior borders on risky especially since these trips were not required but the groceries will eventually get eaten so I guess they could be considered a need.
I am not trying to suggest like is going on as usual but if I am going to go out, I will be careful and take reasonable precautions.
Is your DH not taking precautions?
Just trying to provide you with a look into the psyche of the typical male...

 

[Panina]

If this helps, Panina - I, another of the male species, went out today too and on things that could have waited. I had the tires rotated at Sam's, picked up some groceries, stopped by Kroger to get items from there and then headed home.
Maintained a good social distance at all times, wiped all carts before using and limited personal interaction.
Could it be he is using good hygiene practices when he is out? You certainly hope that is the case. We live in an area with few cases in our state and none in our city. I guess you might say my behavior borders on risky especially since these trips were not required but the groceries will eventually get eaten so I guess they could be considered a need.
I am not trying to suggest like is going on as usual but if I am going to go out, I will be careful and take reasonable precautions.
Is your DH not taking precautions?
Just trying to provide you with a look into the psyche of the typical male...

He sent me a picture showing me he used gloves at the cash machine. I answered hope you didn’t send this text holding your phone with the glove. He says he is being very careful but I have no way to know for sure.

Thank you for trying to make me feel better. I just found out my 85 year old mom in NYC went out today. Said don’t worry I wore, gloves, mask and a wig. It is what it is.

 

[VacationForever]

Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page. No more eating out or getting into stores. We both still golf. My only concern is that he continues to play with the men's groups 3 times a week and they chat etc and at times are definitely within 6 ft from each other. He said that they do maintain a 6 ft bubble but I know it is impossible to do so at all times.

I no longer golf with the women's group.

 

[geekette]

There was an article in maybe Boston Globe a week or so back. It was about Italy. The title was something like "Don't be like us" with a blurb about 'we were selfish and did not take it seriously.'

I don't think "I'm being careful" is at all any kind of guarantee. You can't see coronavirus. Are you sure you didn't walk in any? none on your pants? not in your hair?? can you be absolutely certain you didn't breathe it?? It is not only males, let's be fair.

I would actually send my husband to a hotel, let me stay home with only the germs already here. Stop bringing stuff home. I asked, you didn't respect that, stop coming home. You don't think it's any big deal, fine, you go get sick and keep it. I would not be messing around with this, it is life and death. See ya after the wave passes, I won't let you get me sick.

This is exactly how every single one of us will be on lockdown, ignoring "essential travel only".

 

[TheTimeTraveler]

I am glad you can feel relieved. I don’t think I ever will. We don’t have a shelter mandate yet but that wouldn’t stop him from going to the grocery. I hope he doesn’t bring it home. I figure if he has or does by me staying in I would reduce the spread. Truthfully if I had somewhere else to go I would leave as this is making me nervous. I actually think staying at a hotel is more dangerous.

Speaking of Grocery Stores; I heard today that Trader Joe's is offering daily times for senior citizens to shop. I think it's a good idea since Senior's could be more "at risk'.



.

 

[geekette]

I just found out my 85 year old mom in NYC went out today. Said don’t worry I wore, gloves, mask and a wig. It is what it is.

I've been calling my mother a lot, usually hear "I need to go..." and I cut her off, Is It Worth Dying For? Do you NEED it?

I will not be successful. She knows the risks. If she chooses to die for a trip to Walmart, there is nothing I can say to stop her. But me? I'm not going anywhere. Not only for myself, but for the people that will not or cannot heed instructions.

 

[WinniWoman]

I still have to go grocery shopping every week and once hubby gets his prescription he has to go to the drug store unless he can get mail order quickly. How can you not go food shopping at least once per week for fresh stuff at the very least- like produce, milk, etc.?

I confess we went to Lowes yesterday Briefly- they said we had to sign a contract and pay for the door install we have planned. Why they couldn’t do it via email is beyond me.

BTW- I keep having to remind my husband to wash his hands like when he got back from the gas station and post office today. Always too late.

And like I mentioned in another post we are having a mattress delivery this week. We have to go to the clubhouse to get our mail each day. Try to be careful but it is almost impossible to be 100%.

 

[VacationForever]

I still have to go grocery shopping every week and once hubby gets his prescription he has to go to the drug store unless he can get mail order quickly. How can you not go food shopping at least once per week for fresh stuff at the very least- like produce, milk, etc.?

I confess we went to Lowes yesterday Briefly- they said we had to sign a contract and pay for the door install we have planned. Why they couldn’t do it via email is beyond me.

BTW- I keep having to remind my husband to wash his hands like when he got back from the gas station and post office today. Always too late.

And like I mentioned in another post we are having a mattress delivery this week. We have to go to the clubhouse to get our mail each day. Try to be careful but it is almost impossible to be 100%.

Lots of options for grocery. Depending on where you live, instacart maybe an option. It delivers on behalf of several grocery stores. They don't deliver to our area. There is also safeway.com or vons.com depending on where you live. Since instacart doesn't work for us and vons.com's next delivery to our area is more than a week out, I have to look at other options. I choose pickup option so that I do not need to go into the store. I just finished my cart, $181 of groceries, to be picked up on Thursday.

 

[b2bailey]

Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page. No more eating out or getting into stores. We both still golf. My only concern is that he continues to play with the men's groups 3 times a week and they chat etc and at times are definitely within 6 ft from each other. He said that they do maintain a 6 ft bubble but I know it is impossible to do so at all times.

I no longer golf with the women's group.

hopefully they wash down the germs on the 19th hole

 

[Panina]

There was an article in maybe Boston Globe a week or so back. It was about Italy. The title was something like "Don't be like us" with a blurb about 'we were selfish and did not take it seriously.'

I don't think "I'm being careful" is at all any kind of guarantee. You can't see coronavirus. Are you sure you didn't walk in any? none on your pants? not in your hair?? can you be absolutely certain you didn't breathe it?? It is not only males, let's be fair.

I would actually send my husband to a hotel, let me stay home with only the germs already here. Stop bringing stuff home. I asked, you didn't respect that, stop coming home. You don't think it's any big deal, fine, you go get sick and keep it. I would not be messing around with this, it is life and death. See ya after the wave passes, I won't let you get me sick.

This is exactly how every single one of us will be on lockdown, ignoring "essential travel only".

I wish it was so easy to send him to a hotel. He would never go. I suggested it the other day, he told me I could go. I am staying my distance away from him, disinfecting everywhere he goes. I have a place in NY, family in California and Florida where I could go but all those places are risky too. This is making me reevaluate everything. He won’t even cover his mouth when he coughs (most probably allergy). I immediately spray and he hates that. Too bad.

They are considering a stay home mandate in the next town over right over the N.C. border. If that happens stores will close. The SC governor asked groceries to do senior hours which he said is when he would go. I will believe it when I see it. I thought he was smart, now it realize where it counts he is not.

 

[Panina]

Lots of options for grocery. Depending on where you live, instacart maybe an option. It delivers on behalf of several grocery stores. They don't deliver to our area. There is also safeway.com or vons.com depending on where you live. Since instacart doesn't work for us and vons.com's next delivery to our area is more than a week out, I have to look at other options. I choose pickup option so that I do not need to go into the store. I just finished my cart, $181 of groceries, to be picked up on Thursday.

I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping. They could have sneezed on your product, etc. I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down. It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes. The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.

I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it. I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.

 

[easyrider]

I have been to Lowes almost every day. Most of the people working at our Lowes are older. I have been to the hardware store too. By the end of the week the project I'm working on will be done.

But then there is my neighbors that had a flooded kitchen. They had a hack come in to fix the dishwasher but they flooded the kitchen then removed the floor and counter tops and cabinets. They were told to leave. I was asked if I could repair this when I get time. It looks like I will have time next week.

The c-19 thing has had some side benefits of not having to participate in a baby shower, a couple funerals, Easter and other things I don't like. Bummer about some of the fun things though. Two weddings have been canceled.

My sister called to tell me I can't get my hair cut until they say its safe. Maybe in a few weeks.

I am careful when I go out. I don't touch things, keep my distance and definitely no hugs. I almost got hugged yesterday.

Bill

 

[TravelTime]

@Panina Just remember that the vast majority of people who get Covid-19 do not get very sick. It is not really life and death for the vast majority of people. Some people who have it have reported other illnesses were worse. So personally I am not that worried about getting sick. I look on the bright side that if I do get sick, then I will have some immunity. I have not been sick in a long time. In fact, I can‘t remember the last time I was sick. I think I have a good immune system so maybe that is why I am not worried about illness. I am following the recommendations and staying home, washing hands, etc. so I do not become a carrier that passes along the virus to others especially if I get it without symptoms. At least I am not worried about illness. Instead, I am obsessing on the economic disaster and how that will impact us. But today I feel more calm about that since it is out of my control.

 

[JudyH]

I finally got my husband to stop nail biting last week. I am on one of those nasty meds you see with side effects on TV for my RA. He grudgingly agreed to cancel Disney until Disney took care of that for us. He is slowly coming to grips with the reality of it. I keep reminding him he really doesn’t want to end up a widower if something happens to me.
Thankfully he does not drive due to poor eyesight so he can’t just take off...

However, I am getting my hair done tomorrow... vanity thy name is woman.

 

[geist1223]

Do you have a prenuputial?

 

[VacationForever]

I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping. They could have sneezed on your product, etc. I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down. It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes. The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.

I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it. I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.

Very true that it is not safe, but neither is walking through the aisles with others around us. We will wash everything throughly whenever possible. With food items, they will all be cooked. Also, between what we have in our fridge and freezer and our groceries pick up on Thursday night, we should be set for the next 4 weeks without needing to worry about another grocery run.

 

[geekette]

I wish it was so easy to send him to a hotel. He would never go. I suggested it the other day, he told me I could go. I am staying my distance away from him, disinfecting everywhere he goes. I have a place in NY, family in California and Florida where I could go but all those places are risky too. This is making me reevaluate everything. He won’t even cover his mouth when he coughs (most probably allergy). I immediately spray and he hates that. Too bad.

They are considering a stay home mandate in the next town over right over the N.C. border. If that happens stores will close. The SC governor asked groceries to do senior hours which he said is when he would go. I will believe it when I see it. I thought he was smart, now it realize where it counts he is not.

He doesn't cover his mouth? Allergy or not, yuck. I would probably hole up in my favorite timeshare or rent either an extended stay hotel or apartment.

We just passed 6000 cases, 104 deaths. this is no joke, it's coming to all of us. Hopefully the most vulnerable can avoid until next season but we have no guarantees, and every single one of us is depending on every other person. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how stressful this must be.

 

[VacationForever]

Do you have a prenuputial?

That includes "Husband will obey wife"?

 

[geekette]

I think there Is risk with delivery service with others doing your shopping. They could have sneezed on your product, etc. I got deliveries today and tried to wipe everything down. It is impossible to 100% reduced risk as we really don’t know how many ways it passes. The only sure way is if you are stocked and don’t go out and that isn’t a guarantee either as your previous movement the last few weeks still might result in getting sick.

I alway believed when it’s your time there is nothing that can change it. I need to go to my core beliefs and stop stressing.

I'm not an order and have it delivered person. Even less keen on it now.

I like to find bargains, check the price per oz on the little tags, comparison shop, etc. going in the middle of the night, nobody cares if I'm loitering in an aisle a while. no impatient people, nobody in line. I have never needed to go weekly and have been stretching it to monthly trips since my income got whacked, which has helped me be very efficient and creative, knowing I will be stuck with whatever is left until next pay. I try to keep the trip to $50, aided by clearance items and my general lack of interest in much more than reasonably nutritious sustenance. oatmeal, peanut butter, beans, potatoes and eggs are staples for me and I don't have to replace those monthly.

 

[TravelTime]

Yesterday at Safeway, they still have the self serve operating. I was shocked since buffets have been shut down because everyone touches the serving utensils. I saw people serving themselves at Safeway.

 

[geekette]

My sister called to tell me I can't get my hair cut until they say its safe. Maybe in a few weeks.

I am careful when I go out. I don't touch things, keep my distance and definitely no hugs. I almost got hugged yesterday.

What, the neighbor whose kitchen you're fixing doesn't have a bowl and scissors?

Yeah, beware the hugs. Seems to me the neighbor would be hug-level grateful. I would be.

I am not especially handy, depending on what it is and fear factor. I definitely don't mess with electricity or plumbing, and fear of heights keeps me off the roof - not so much getting up there and being up there, but coming back down - same problem I had with climbing trees - the crap about facing fears has never resolved that one for me.

I have to call Some Business and hope. I have terrible luck with plumbers especially and have put off some repairs just because I don't want to deal with the foul-ups. I am planning to try to fix a toilet. replaced a part a few months ago but now I think I have to replace the other stuff in it. I have put it off but, gee, not like I'm going anywhere...

 

[CPNY]

Have him message me. I’ll set him straight! That is insanity he needs to stay home! This is very bad. We are headed toward devastation. I read a mitigation report that said if the US doesn’t act they estimate 2,000,000 Americans will die. If we act accordingly and adhere to quarantine they estimate 1,000,000.

I have been flipping on my nephews who are running around like it’s no big deal. They can spread this without symptoms. The disregard for this virus and the life of others exhibited by people is infuriating. Not to mention you other half is putting himself and you at tremendous risk.