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Stay At Home Humor

T_R_Oglodyte

T_R_Oglodyte

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An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
 
T_R_Oglodyte

T_R_Oglodyte

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T_R_Oglodyte

T_R_Oglodyte

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It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in.

He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it."

Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her."

Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
 
T_R_Oglodyte

T_R_Oglodyte

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Until this afternoon I always assumed that web site virtual assistants were neuter; It never occurred to me that they might actually be male or female. But when logging into a site I hadn't visited for a long time I got a prompt that site security had been updated, my current password didn't meet new criteria, and I needed to create a new password using at least one upper case letter, one lower case letter, one numeral, and one special character. Feeling a bit crotchety I entered Myd^ck9".

Damned if the assistant didn't reply - "Not long enough."
 
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