Brett
Guest
-
The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 30 years!
Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day! -
TUG started 31 years ago in October 1993 as a group of regular Timeshare owners just like you!
Read about our 31st anniversary: Happy 31st Birthday TUG! -
TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce weekly short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!
Free memberships for every 50 subscribers!
Visit TUG on Youtube! -
TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $23,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!
Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $23 Million dollars -
Wish you could meet up with other TUG members? Well look no further as this annual event has been going on for years in Orlando! How to Attend the TUG January Get-Together!
-
Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free!
Tens of thousands of subscribing owners! A weekly recap of the best Timeshare resort reviews and the most popular topics discussed by owners! -
Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!
All T-shirt options here!
Stay At Home Humor
- Thread starter Ken555
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
The idea is that if the Star Wars universe (metaverse??) has an academy for training Jedi, must there not also be an academy for training Sith warriors. And Star Wars fandom has filled in the void, with vignettes mostly involving Darth Maul and Lord Sidious. Sprinkled with other Star Wars characters. Stories ranging from G to NC-17, so enter at your own risk.
One time I came across a wonderful Sith Academy story with Darth Maul providing software tech support, and drawing energy from feeding the rising anger of those calling in as he continually built their expectations, only to frustrate them further and feeling their useless and impotent rage boiling higher and higher. With Lord Sidious cackling and encouraging him. In process of stringing the caller along, Darth Maul tells him to key in some ridiculous combination of keystrokes, only to have the solution work. The caller is pleased and thanks him profusely, while Maul is profoundly mortified, and experiences the wrath of Sidious.
One time I came across a wonderful Sith Academy story with Darth Maul providing software tech support, and drawing energy from feeding the rising anger of those calling in as he continually built their expectations, only to frustrate them further and feeling their useless and impotent rage boiling higher and higher. With Lord Sidious cackling and encouraging him. In process of stringing the caller along, Darth Maul tells him to key in some ridiculous combination of keystrokes, only to have the solution work. The caller is pleased and thanks him profusely, while Maul is profoundly mortified, and experiences the wrath of Sidious.
Welcome to the Sith Academy
www.siubhan.com
T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
Not original. I first heard this in the dorms my freshman year of college in 1969. And it didn't involve groceries.That's the name of a donut shop here in Mesquite: Hole Foods.
Dave
Brett
Guest
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus.
"Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, I'm fine?'" asked the solicitor.
Angus responded: "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... "
"I didn't ask for any details," the solicitor interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'"
Angus said, "Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... "
The solicitor interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now, several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie."
Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road, when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
"Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her, right between the eyes.
"Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in his hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are YOU feelin'?'
"Now wot da heck would you say?"
*********************************************
Dave
"Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, I'm fine?'" asked the solicitor.
Angus responded: "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... "
"I didn't ask for any details," the solicitor interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'"
Angus said, "Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... "
The solicitor interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now, several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie."
Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road, when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
"Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her, right between the eyes.
"Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in his hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are YOU feelin'?'
"Now wot da heck would you say?"
*********************************************
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2005
- Messages
- 19,916
- Reaction score
- 10,815
- Location
- New Mexico
- Resorts Owned
-
Maui Lea at Maui Hill
San Diego Country Estates
Tank
TUG Member
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2014
- Messages
- 3,360
- Reaction score
- 7,579
- Location
- Northern Ohio
- Resorts Owned
-
HICV South Beach Myrtle Beach
HICV Lake Geneva
HICV Gatlinburg
HICV Orange Lake Kissemee
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Watch out for psychic turkeys...
Dave
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
I usually like it when art speaks to me.
Dave
Dave
Brett
Guest
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,906
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
It that the one about the fork lift ?
I got it.
