Stay At Home Humor

[emeryjre]

Yesterday, my daughter emailed me, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

"Like sitting around the pool, drinking beer isn't a good thing?" I asked.

Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She is "only thinking of me," she said and suggested I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas.

So, I did and when I got home, I decided to play a prank on her. I sent her an email saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.

She replied, "Are you crazy? You're 75-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!

This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

“Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up and prepaid for five jumps a week!”

The line went dead.

Life as a Senior Citizen may not be getting any easier, but it can be fun.

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

View attachment 41991

Dave

THAT'S MY HANDWRITING! Where did you get my wine order!?

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[DaveNV]

There was a man who had worked hard all of his life and has saved every penny he earned. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. In fact, he loved money more than just about anything. One day he said to his wife:

"When I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me because I want to take it all to the after life."

So his wife reluctantly promised him when he died she would put all the money in his casket.

The man soon died and was stretched out in the casket. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait a minute!"

She went over to the casket with a shoebox and placed it in the casket with her husband. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man."

The wife said, "Yes, I promised him I would put the money in the casket with him. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

***************************************

Dave

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

duplicate post - sorry

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

posted previously.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

posted previously.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

posted previously.

 

[Passepartout]

 

[TheHolleys87]

View attachment 42036

But depending on what kind of batteries, that could be a great gift in itself!

 

[Quiet Pine]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Passepartout]

 

[tombanjo]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]