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Stay At Home Humor
- Thread starter Ken555
- Start date
clifffaith
TUG Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
- Messages
- 6,561
- Reaction score
- 8,993
- Location
- San Juan Capistrano, CA
- Resorts Owned
- Formerly: Marriott, ILX, Westin, Diamond, Worldmark. Timeshare free as of 12/24.
clifffaith
TUG Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
- Messages
- 6,561
- Reaction score
- 8,993
- Location
- San Juan Capistrano, CA
- Resorts Owned
- Formerly: Marriott, ILX, Westin, Diamond, Worldmark. Timeshare free as of 12/24.
The Jewish Tie Salesman
A fleeing ISIS terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack, selling ties.
The ISIS terrorist asked, "Do you have water?
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment- I spit on your ties. I need water!
"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk – and only $5."
"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me “Infidel”. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go in Peace!
Cursing him again, the desperate ISIS staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!”
A fleeing ISIS terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack, selling ties.
The ISIS terrorist asked, "Do you have water?
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment- I spit on your ties. I need water!
"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk – and only $5."
"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me “Infidel”. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go in Peace!
Cursing him again, the desperate ISIS staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!”
For those of a 'certain age' with a 'certain upbringing'.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2008
- Messages
- 1,629
- Reaction score
- 995
- Resorts Owned
- Four Seasons Residence Club
And those of us psychiatrist types
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,905
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,905
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave
The Dark Side of Your Mom in the old days would mean a fist fight. LOL
Dave, Thanks for this great suggestion.
I am going to tell my better half; that is what happen to me at the grocery store. LOL
I've been in Ept a few times too. Glad my wife reminds me. . . .
T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
Don't you have to be in France to be in Seine?
No airport there. Somebody has to drive you. Applying?
T_R_Oglodyte
TUG Lifetime Member
Nope. I'm a North American. That means I'm in Continent right now.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2007
- Messages
- 17,879
- Reaction score
- 7,744
- Resorts Owned
- HGVC & GTS
My DW emailed an associate, and thanks to spell check, somehow managed to use "incontinent" in place of "in contemplation."
She sent it before showing me the hard-copy. No, the sh*t did not hit the fan, but there were some red-faces.
.
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Messages
- 22,587
- Reaction score
- 30,905
- Location
- Mesquite, Nevada
- Resorts Owned
- Free Agent
Dave