Help! SIL wants us to cosign a house loan with his bad credit

[Karen G]

I'm joining the growing chorus of naysayers. Absolutely DON"T co-sign. I've watched family members go through all sorts of grief for co-signing on loans.

 

[Texasbelle]

Fool me once....

 

[3kids4me]

I agree with everyone else but I also have a question since I'm confused. If "S-I-L" stands for "son-in-law" then doesn't that mean he is married to your daughter? (And if so, who is the girlfriend?)

 

[susieq]

I wouldn't say "no." I'd say, "Grow up, become responsible and save your money for a house LIKE EVERYONE ELSE." I'd be so flat out insulted that someone with his credit (and leeching) history would try to take advantage of me that I'd probably strangle him.
So, yeh, what everyone else said...

Exactly what I was going to say. If they want a house so bad, they can grow up, stand on their own two feet, and work for it like everyone else. If the owner of the house is so anxious to sell, maybe they can work something out ~ like maybe a portion of their rent goes toward the purchase price. I think you already know what to do Liz, just follow through where your heart tells you. Sometimes "wings" are the hardest things we can give our kids.

Sue

 

[Brett]

SIL and his girlfriend and her two kids live in Florida and have been renting a house that is now for sale. We have given him money before ($40,000) and he had previously defaulted on a car loan I signed for him as a second signer and had a mobile home repossed. His credit is 530. He has some mortgage broker from LoansByYou who says that if my husband signs and Leo pays on time for a year, they can take DH off the loan and refinance. He also said Leo could "repair" his credit by then. I am extremely uncomfortable, as well as skeptical about this. DH plans to retire soon and me in a few years. Even if we can get SIL to pay us and we pay the loan and to pay for mortgage payoff insurance, I just have a bad feeling about this and would like your input.
Thanks,
Liz

it seems superfluous to add another opinion but - you should feel skeptical considering the financial history. I would be very hesitant in cosigning this loan. You can still give them money but cosigning a loan and the resulting obligations are different.

 

[vacationhopeful]

You are in CA and they are in FL. They already owe you a LOT of money.

Stop the long distance insanity. If you haven't already told them a simple NO, do so. If they dare to bring the subject up again, hang up (those darn cell towers or was it sun spots?:ignore: ).

JMHO,

 

[ira g]

ARE YOU SERIOUS? JUST SAY NO!!!

 

[lprstn]

Trust me don't do it...

I have to warn you...I have family that I have helped before, and it its hurts when they use you, to keep perpetuating the same bad habbits. Don't do it, follow your gut in all things...especially this.

Unless you purchase the home yourself, rent it to them (get the tax write off) and be prepared to evict them when they don't pay.

 

[pcgirl54]

No bailout!

You already know the answer. Never cosign a loan period. It ruins relationships. 530 FICO says it all. He defaulted on a loan to you already so why would you even consider going further with this?

I dearly love my sons but if they cannot afford the downpayment and montly payments to buy a car or house on their own then they can't afford it. If you do not have personal money in something then it has no value and it is easy to just walk away.

 

[Big Matt]

Here's my question: Do you have enough money to buy the house for cash? Probably not. If the answer is no, then you don't have enough money to pay the bank when they call the note.

You would be much better off putting money away for them, and better yet getting them some help managing their credit.

Tell them to keep renting until the credit score increases to a reasonable number and they have a 20% down payment.

 

[Htoo0]

Do you really need a 275th opinion? Unless you're OK with buying the house- it's a NO! BTW, a co-worker just filed Chapter 13 over a $30K+ co-signed loan on his now ex-SIL's reposessed truck.

 

[JimJ]

Be a good sport and go ahead with it.

 

[jlr10]

My FIL was asked to cosign by his son for a condo with his new wife and her 4 children. FIL asked me what I thought. FIL had always bailed out his children when they got in trouble. But all kids were now in their 30s. So I asked him "I don't really know this, can you afford to make the payments when he no longer can or will?" His answer was "No." My reply "You have your answer." He declined to cosign and BIL got someone else to cosign. Less than a year later BIL called FIL for a loan or he would be in danger of losing his condo. FIL's response "Where will you live then?" and let him grow up. BIL sold his condo and moved his family to a home rented to him dirt cheap by his nephew. Not what he wanted but it saved my FIL from using up all his savings to keep BIL afloat.

So the same question applies here. "Can you afford to make the payments when SIL defaults?" That's your answer.

 

[Liz Wolf-Spada]

Thanks all for letting me use your collective wisdom as a sounding board. I think I needed to hear what I already knew from people NOT emotionally involved. DH has agreed with me and we never got anything in writing faxed from the supposed "mortgage broker".
Liz

 

[Glynda]

Book

I second that ! Great advice, great book.
Boundaries are healthy, boundaries are your friend !

KEMcA: That book,Boundaries, and a workshop on it, saved my relationship with my daughter and my mother!!!

 

[caribbean]

In a word NO!!!
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
If this was a kid, just out of school and trying to get his first car, and had no credit record, that would be different. But in this case, he has established credit, and he needs to learn to live with it until he can repair it himself. If you keep bailing him out, he will never learn to stand on his own feet.

 

[applegirl]

I'm glad you are getting so many responses to your question! Glad that we could help reinforce what you already knew was the answer.

Continuing to enable this irresponsible couple would not do anyone good.
Co-signing is something I would never do.

Janna

 

[geekette]

I've not read any other responses.

I would not do this. You have helped before, but he doesn't seem to appreciate it nor understand the importance of attaining good credit.

If this goes sour, you + hubby are the ones in deep trouble. Look after yourselves on this.

If he wants to buy that house, he can find another way to get it or simply wait until his credit and/or cash savings are good enuf to make it happen.

You do them no favors by assisting further but could hurt yourselves badly.

 

[beejaybee]

Please explain!

I agree with everyone else but I also have a question since I'm confused. If "S-I-L" stands for "son-in-law" then doesn't that mean he is married to your daughter? (And if so, who is the girlfriend?)

I am totally confused also! Whoever SIL is, don't do it!!!!

 

[Patri]

Be a good sport and go ahead with it.

:hysterical: :rofl: :whoopie:

 

[CatLovers]

I agree with everyone else but I also have a question since I'm confused. If "S-I-L" stands for "son-in-law" then doesn't that mean he is married to your daughter? (And if so, who is the girlfriend?)

So Liz, are you going to tell us?

 

[Liz Wolf-Spada]

Oh boy, got it wrong again. He's my stepson, not SIL. No daughter for him to marry. Just one 26 year old son who thinks he will probably never marry (just what this wanting to be a grandma doesn't want to hear)
Liz

 

[Jaybee]

I was going to ask the same question. We have seen case, after case, after case of people suing a boyfriend, girlfriend, son or daughter, etc. after co-signing on a loan, and putting their good credit on the line.
We even made a similar mistake once with one of my daughters and her husband. We refused to co-sign, but did lend them money for a down payment. They paid back about $700, and "couldn't afford it anymore". They subsequently lost the house. As others have said, "Just say no", and stick to your guns. Jean
.

Have you never watched Judge Judy or one of the many other tv courts? Then you KNOW the answer is no way. There are reasons regular sources won't give them money. Don't ignore that and be the one who is out the $$.

 

[laura1957]

Oh boy, got it wrong again. He's my stepson, not SIL. No daughter for him to marry. Just one 26 year old son who thinks he will probably never marry (just what this wanting to be a grandma doesn't want to hear)
Liz

Being your stepson it makes more sense - but the answer should still be NO.
My husband seems to be the bank for his entire family - we just loaded his niece a thousand (has just gone back to work after having her first child) his daughter 500 (cut back her hours at work) his son 500 (fix his car) his oldest daughter 6000 (buying a house) - I think we will get it all back soon except for the daughter buying the house.

His ex just passed away and he is in charge of dispursing her insurance - so his youngest daughter and his son will pay when they get their share. His niece is wonderful and will pay when she gets it!!

With your stepsons credit history - unless you are going to continue paying for him I wouldnt cosign.

 

[pcgirl54]

Liz
Stepson-now it makes sense. Still no on the cosign. This is the perfect age for them to start to realise we are not obligated to bail them out. They need to make smarter choices. Oh they will get uppity about it but then they will be forced to make a decision on their own.

This age still often waffles on I don't need you but I want you to help me financially. By helping them we are not in fact helping them. It's tough love and it works in most cases once they understand there is no caving in.