Help! SIL wants us to cosign a house loan with his bad credit

[Liz Wolf-Spada]

SIL and his girlfriend and her two kids live in Florida and have been renting a house that is now for sale. We have given him money before ($40,000) and he had previously defaulted on a car loan I signed for him as a second signer and had a mobile home repossed. His credit is 530. He has some mortgage broker from LoansByYou who says that if my husband signs and Leo pays on time for a year, they can take DH off the loan and refinance. He also said Leo could "repair" his credit by then. I am extremely uncomfortable, as well as skeptical about this. DH plans to retire soon and me in a few years. Even if we can get SIL to pay us and we pay the loan and to pay for mortgage payoff insurance, I just have a bad feeling about this and would like your input.
Thanks,
Liz

 

[swift]

Take the fact that this is a family member out of the picture and ask your self would you do this for someone else? Probably not. Your uncomfortable with this for good reason. Stick with your gut and say no.

 

[Cathyb]

Liz: IMHO you already know what to do. It sounds like you have been burned several times by SIL. You know if he defaults, you are liable as a co-signer.

You would be doing him a favor to let him struggle and learn.

 

[dougp26364]

Banks have a word that describes co-signers.......fools.

Unless you want to own this house, don't do it.

 

[Beaglemom3]

Please, under no circumstances, co-sign anything for this person. After reading the track record I cannot fathom risking your own credit rating because of this person.

I cosigned a car loan for my niece. She defaulted and I could not take possession of the vehicle unless the credit union repossessed it and I let that happen because if I paid if off without the repo, the vehicle would've gone to her. You see, I was the co-maker on the loan, but did not put myself on the title, etc. as I trusted her. My credit will take a long time to recover.

Please learn from your prior experience and mine.

Just say "no".

 

[Beaglemom3]

Banks have a word that describes co-signers.......fools.



Unless you want to own this house, don't do it.

Absolutely true, especially relatives who think it's their given right, because you're "blood", to do this.
The hallmark of a dysfunctional person, family, company, etc. is the lack of boundaries (SIL here).. Don't let this irresponsible person trounce yours. Establish them firmly. Just MHO here. I wish I had thought with my head instead of my heart.

 

[Rose Pink]

.... I am extremely uncomfortable, as well as skeptical about this. .... I just have a bad feeling about this ....

You already know the answer. It may be socially uncomfortable to say no but it would be far worse to say yes.

 

[Gramma5]

Another one for just saying "no".
We cosigned for post school loans for our son and DIL years ago and altho they didn't default on the loans, they were consistantly "late" and it affected OUR credit rating! After getting multiple late notices, (sometimes WE got them before they did!) we had them figure out a way to pay off the loan so we would be uninvolved. It took quite a while to clean up OUR credit rating which is generally in the 800's and it dropped 100 points while all this was going on. this is not a time when you want problems with your credit rating. Just say you can't jeopardize your rating and his past financial problems make you unable to do it.
Believe me, in the long run your relationship will be better. Otherwise you are always nagging them about paying their bill etc..........JMHO.

 

[Phill12]

Say no and deal WITH YOUR OWN FINANCES!

Co-signing never a good idea but in this case it is a really bad idea.

Most families have some family like this that lose and lose and have no problem asking you to Co -sign another loan. :annoyed:

You should tell this family member the loans and Co-signing is not happening again and that is it.

These family members that we all have seem to have no problem walking away from loans and also no problem hanging other's out to dry.

JUST SAY NO!


PHIL

 

[Patri]

I don't get it. He is your son-in-law? Is that what SIL means? And a girlfriend? Is he even blood?
The answer is still no.

 

[Jestjoan]

NO, NO and NO

What Phil said, "JUST SAY NO." Look at the history............

 

[Glynda]

No

What everyone else said. You know the answer. No.

Best book I ever read to help me deal with this sort of thing is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend.

 

[funtime]

If the 40,000 or any part of it was a loan advise that you are looking for him to pay that back first and until that is paid back, you can't sign on for more debt. And, since Florida has a lot of great deals, perhaps they can find another one without your signature. In other words, Just say no. Funtime

 

[funtime]

Another thought - if the seller wants to sell badly, maybe he can carry a note back on the house.

 

[nazclk]

SIL

Don't do it, not with his track record, FICO of 530 whoa

 

[Fern Modena]

You know you don't want to do it. If you did (want to), you wouldn't be asking us. Are you asking because your DH isn't as certain about saying "NO" as you are?

If that is the case, the high points to hit when you talk to him include the fact that the SIL has a proven track record of NOT paying back, and you (as a couple) can't afford to own the house. Cosigning not only makes you responsible for the loan if he defaults, and it sounds quite possible, but it also makes you his landlord in that case. If you're not willing to say "NO" now, would you be willing to evict him when he defaults? Ugly thought, huh?

Also, bring the current economy into the situation. You're a government employee. It is likely that you won't be getting a raise any time soon. I know. I was one in the 1980's and beyond, and I didn't get a raise for five years straight. No raises and a bad economy means your money isn't going to go as far.

It seems to me you are planning for a retirement in the not so distant future. You need to mind *your* finances, not a deadbeat (and that is what he is) relative. I know it is cold to think of your SIL in that way, but you must. You need to think of yourselves first in this case.

Fern

 

[timeos2]

No way

Have you wever wathed Judge Judy or one of the many other tv courts? Then you KNOW the answer is no way. There are reasons regular sources won't give them money. Don't ignore that and be the one who is out the $$.

 

[IngridN]

Cosigning not only makes you responsible for the loan if he defaults, and it sounds quite possible, but it also makes you his landlord in that case. If you're not willing to say "NO" now, would you be willing to evict him when he defaults? Ugly thought, huh?

Fern

Fern beat me to the punch...this is the point I was going to put forth. My father was put in a similar position as landlord to son and it got real ugly.

Ingrid

 

[Beaglemom3]

What everyone else said. You know the answer. No.

Best book I ever read to help me deal with this sort of thing is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend.

I second that ! Great advice, great book.
Boundaries are healthy, boundaries are your friend !

 

[Wonka]

I don't get it. He is your son-in-law? Is that what SIL means? And a girlfriend? Is he even blood?
The answer is still no.

I don't get it either...your son-in-law and his girlfriend? Is that correct?

 

[Nancy]

Whoever

Whoever it is, Just say NO!

Nancy

 

[ricoba]

From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1603:

LORD POLONIUS:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

emphasis mine!

 

[Kal]

Is this a late April Fool's Day joke??? I would only be interested in hearing a logic for a vote to co-sign the loan.

Just tell him you would consider being a co-signer ONLY AFTER they pay back the $40K. Until then they need to invest in the LOTTO.

 

[Blondie]

I wouldn't say "no." I'd say, "Grow up, become responsible and save your money for a house LIKE EVERYONE ELSE." I'd be so flat out insulted that someone with his credit (and leeching) history would try to take advantage of me that I'd probably strangle him.
So, yeh, what everyone else said...

 

[pianodinosaur]

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