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Death Cleaning - Does It Bring You Joy?

Cornell said:
Wedding dresses: I would advise any bride to sell their dress IMMEDIATELY after the wedding when it's still in style and has value. The chances of that dress being worn in the future are very, very low.
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My DW has two sons only (prior marriage). They're not trans, so it's not like they'll wear it.
Instead, she's keeping it, "for good."
 
Ha! My father must've been "death cleaning" since 60 years ago. haha.
Apparently I got most of my genes from mom as I've been accused of being a hoarder (I like to save the boxes that *some* stuff I keep comes in). Although when I get rid of the "stuff" the boxes go too. Which reminds me. Time for a garage sale!
 
We have alot of serious art work, and if my husband goes before me, the first thing that I will do is figure out how to sell most of them, and maybe just retain 5 pieces. My son won't know what to do with any of them. After I die, I expect my son to get everything else into a dumpster, except... he is a bit of a hoarder. So I better get rid of everything before I take my last breath. :( But seriously, if my husband goes first, I will downsize and maybe get a home where my son can move into with me. That way, he will not need to work on getting rid of all the stuff at home before selling the home.
 
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Facebook has a neighborhood oriented page called “Buy Nothing” which is a wonderful thing. You post an unwanted item, and people who are interested respond.

Contact with the recipient with your address is made via private message (your address is not public) and they come and pick it up off your porch. That’s it. I have gotten rid of a ton of stuff. Clothes, shoes, a non working gas edger, Christmas stuff, home decor, some furniture, bedding and linens etc.

I figure if I keep chipping away, a little at a time, it will eventually get done. A big job is overwhelming, but taking small bites this way has helped a lot.
 
Cornell said:
Have you told your daughter that you want these items returned to you before she gets rid of them? Because if someone gave me something I would think it's mine to do with what I want.
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I have. There are few things I give her in the first place, lol. I have given her some of her childhood stuff and I'm sure she mostly tosses it. Which is fine with me. Not like her at all, she asked for my Hallmark advent calendar and her Hallmark ornaments. There are not many things she ever wants. I think her kids brought out that tiniest bit of nostalgia in her.
 
Sandi Bo said:
I have. There are few things I give her in the first place, lol. I have given her some of her childhood stuff and I'm sure she mostly tosses it. Which is fine with me. Not like her at all, she asked for my Hallmark advent calendar and her Hallmark ornaments. There are not many things she ever wants. I think her kids brought out that tiniest bit of nostalgia in her.
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Well, I can understand why you'd be upset if she got rid of things that you asked her to return to you!
 
We had a neighbor that did the storage locker auctions, she was on the show once, met most of the "stars". She told me that family only ever wanted cash and jewelry from lockers of deceased owners, even though she was required to offer photo albums and personal items like diaries and journals.

We sold our home 8 years ago, got rid of most of the clutter and moved to a rental in our desired retirement location. 25 years of stuff collected took quite a few weekend garage sales to dispose of. We purchased a mobile in a senior park 18 months ago, I'm down to a 12x12 shed for my "stuff" like bikes, golf clubs, tools, bbq pellet smoker.

I have a library card that lets me download books and magazines to read on Libby.

It feels good to downsize, who needs "stuff" that nobody wants when you are gone.

We have been watching the death show, interesting...
 
A few days ago I moved one of my large tool boxes and had to empty it before I moved it. I had forgotten how many tools I have. I found a 16 1/2 inch Makita circular beam saw , Milwaukee framing saw, a couple of demo jack hammers, extractors, paint sprayers and a bunch of light duty tools. Found the 4 ft chainsaw bar I was looking for a few years ago at the bottom of the box. I still have tools in the garage, shop and my work suv. I still have scaffolding, ladders, skid loader, tractors , trailers, trucks and so much material. An entire 40 ft Ocean container full of new old stuff. I still have my big old cabin cruiser that I haven't used for at least 15 years. I don't even know how many fishing rods and equipment I have collected over the years.

I did get rid of a 80's Suzuki motorcycle today. No one has rode it for at least 20 years but it did start up and go.

It doesn't seem like alot of stuff because its spread out. In all these years of accumulating things I have only accumulated 1 wife who still has shoes from high school, lol.

Bill
 
dago said:
Been thru that with Mom, MIL and DW
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Same here, but I tell them that someone needs it today. Get rid of things before they become obsolete. Once things are too dated they just become trash. It's sad.
 
klpca said:
Same here, but I tell them that someone needs it today. Get rid of things before they become obsolete. Once things are too dated they just become trash. It's sad.
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We had to deal with "I might need that someday."

Bags. Boxes. Boxes full of bags. Bags full of boxes. Bags full of bags. Boxes full of boxes. "That's just the right size for something!"

Turns out they were all the right size to go into a rental dumpster. When relatives leave a big mess for their heirs, they are going to be remembered for leaving a big mess. They might be remembered for many other things. But the last thing they will be remembered for is "cleaning up decades of 'I might need that.'"
 
sun starved Gayle said:
Facebook has a neighborhood oriented page called “Buy Nothing” which is a wonderful thing. You post an unwanted item, and people who are interested respond.
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I’m a member of our area's active Buy Nothing group and love how it allows things to be “recycled” to a new home. I've given away several things and will do more. It's surprising how almost everything posted finds a home, despite some things being pretty low value.
 
clifffaith said:
I just shook my head and muttered under my breath when I found out what the activities department here at the Old Folks Home plans for June. They are looking to display residents’ WEDDING DRESSES. Any old lady who moved in here dragging her damn wedding dress didn’t get the concept of downsizing!
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Perhaps a few have dresses from 2nd wedding. I have mine. Husband passed years ago, but haven't parted with it.
 
am1 said:
Don’t be so cheap. Someone has to pay to produce articles.
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Not cheap - just doesn't have a subscription to that source.
 
am1 said:
Don’t be so cheap. Someone has to pay to produce articles.
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Don't insult me. I was replying to the OPs comment that it might not be viewable without an account. It wasn't.

Dave
 
Once we had to start dealing with our parents home and even some friends we have been trying to clear stuff out. I make some big pushes, then slow down again.. Our son and DIL are definetly minimalists..
 
We know the Kids will probably not want our Department 56 Dicken's Village (a lot) several sets of China, Crystal, Portmarion, or the Art we have collected. But we enjoy it all.
 
clifffaith said:
I just shook my head and muttered under my breath when I found out what the activities department here at the Old Folks Home plans for June. They are looking to display residents’ WEDDING DRESSES. Any old lady who moved in here dragging her damn wedding dress didn’t get the concept of downsizing!
Click to expand...
We took my wife's father (age 90ish) camping to a pretty rustic lake campground in the Bitterroots on the border of Idaho & Montana. Some 30 miles of single-track road to get there. When we arrived and commenced setting up the camp, 'Dad' brings out my DW's first wedding dress! He'd brought it to the boondocks to make sure she'd take it. The damn thing is still hanging in our basement, and she won't get rid of it! It's right there alongside her kids' Cub Scout uniforms & turtle high chair. Those 'kids' will be 50 this year.

Yes, somebody doesn't get the concept of downsizing.

She has an offer to sell her office. The stuff is tucked into every nook and cranny. She has about a month to vacate, so there is no urgency, and she is very deadline driven.

The #1 DS is coming tomorrow for a few days to help with the physical part of loading crap to the dump from a storage unit. We'll see how that goes.
 
My own mother went from (Over the course of about 15 years):
  • A massive single family home to a condo so purge #1 occurred at that point.
  • Condo into independent living in a "senior campus" - really nothing purged at that point. Yet, I'd be at her house and think "Mom, you have enough serveware to host a small state dinner".
  • Independent living into assisted living - at this point she had dementia so us kids had to rid 90% of her possessions. Very weird and challenging to do. She wasn't completely out of it, so incredibly difficult to have her seeing what we were doing. It felt "wrong" in many ways to be getting rid of her things while she was alive.
  • Then assisted living into skilled nursing. The remainder of her furniture went away and just a few personal items and pictures moved with her to her last spot.
  • My mom passed away in January. The blessing of her passing is that we weren't staring at a house filled with "stuff" that we had to deal with , while mourning. The shocking part of that day is that the nursing home told us to have her room cleaned out within hours of her passing. Harsh.
 
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