Stay At Home Humor

[AJCts411]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[DaveNV]

In the "I want this" department...

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

On a nearby Church sign.

"The Road To Salavation Is Paved With Donuts"

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Talent312]

What is the Queen of Spain wearing at the Coronation?
Is it a lampshade, a salad bowl or an umbrella?

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[DaveNV]

Troublemaker...

**************

A young man walked into a monastery and told the abbot that he was interested in becoming a monk. The abbot told him about the duties and vows that would be required of him, including a vow of silence - for all but himself - which had the exception of two words of his choice on each anniversary date of his entrance to the order. The man agreed and was accepted as a novitiate.

The days were filled with manual labour and study. The living quarters consisted of a small cell with a desk and chair, and a bed with a thin mattress. Food, eaten in a dining hall with the other members of the order, was bland, though nutritious.

When one year had passed, the abbot approached the member and congratulated him on the anniversary of his arrival, then asked if he wished to avail himself of his allotted two words. The novice thought for a moment and then said, “Bed hard.” The abbot agreed that the beds were, indeed, hard, citing hardships in life as being builders of character, then sent him back to his chores.

The next year passed in much the same manner, with plenty of hard work and much studying. When the second anniversary arrived the abbot once again offered the opportunity to utter a pair of words. With no hesitation he said, “Food cold.” The abbot concurred, again citing character building as the reason, then left him to his duties.
The toil and study continued, the bed remained hard, and the food remained cold. At the end of the third year the abbot, once again, congratulated the novice on his anniversary and asked if he had anything to say. “I quit,” said the man.

“I’m not surprised,” said the abbot, “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

**************

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Why does a 'slight tax increase' cost you two hundred dollars, while a 'substantial tax cut' nets you two dollars?

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Passepartout]

 

[tombanjo]

Zombies need proper paperwork just like anybody else. Let’s not be so living centric.

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]