Stay At Home Humor

[Luanne]

 

[Brett]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink, but the bartender yells at him to get out before he stinks up the place. The mushroom looks taken aback and says, “Why? I’m a fun guy.”

 

[Tank]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Talent312]

View attachment 75610

More likely, Father Time had a Toyota GPS who's maps were seriously out of date.

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[LannyPC]

A passenger was in a taxi cab and saw the cab driver had a picture of another man hanging from the glove compartment and said to the cab driver, "That must have been a remarkable guy for you to have his picture in your cab."

The cab driver responded, "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them. He seldom got lost but when he did, he would stop and ask for directions then carry on his way."

The passenger said, "Mm, there are not many like him around."

The cab driver continued, "And he knew how to treat a woman too. He was never late coming home and absolutely never went out with the boys. He would bring his wife flowers and he always knew how to make her feel good. He was very diplomatic and never answered her back even if she was in the wrong. He was a dandy. His clothing was always immaculate, and his shoes were highly polished too."

The passenger said, "He sounds like an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

The driver said, "I never actually met him."

So the passenger asked, "Well, how do you know so much about him if you never met him?"

The Driver responded, "I married his widow."

 

[AJCts411]

I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, she was lack toes intolerant...

 

[Tank]

Not a joke
Kinda is

Made me laugh

 

[geist1223]

That would be pure Ozzy

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[AJCts411]

My friend said she wouldn't eat cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's
mouth. I gave her an egg.

 

[AJCts411]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Passepartout]