Stay At Home Humor

[DaveNV]

Dave, check out the original post that started this wonderful thread. It was a parody on "The Sound of Music".

Ok. Now I get it. 360+ pages on, things tend to slip from memory. Thanks!

Dave

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[TheHolleys87]

View attachment 55509

OMG! Is that a real product?

I guess I’m really getting old. DVC announced the name for the new building at DL will be the Villas at the Disneyland Hotel, VDH. One person commented that the “VD Hotel” didn’t sound like a good name to them, and no one reacted to the comment.

 

[Passepartout]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
She then said, "That's what you did yesterday!"
I replied, "I WASN'T DONE , SO I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would
have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally, I pondered an age old question: "Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts"
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts,
but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have produced an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts!”

I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.

--

 

[Tank]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[plpgma]

OMG! Is that a real product?

I guess I’m really getting old. DVC announced the name for the new building at DL will be the Villas at the Disneyland Hotel, VDH. One person commented that the “VD Hotel” didn’t sound like a good name to them, and no one reacted to the comment.

Believe it or not -- Yes, it is a real product! Looks like we've caught up to science fiction once again.

 

[tombanjo]

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[Luanne]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I take this with me wherever I go

 

[Passepartout]

A blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch. How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.”
A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."