Stay At Home Humor

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

A surgeon, an engineer, and an economist all die around the same time and are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. “Welcome good souls! Welcome! You’re in the right place,” he informs them. “But, unfortunately, we have a shortage of mansions so two of you will need to spend some time in Purgatory while yours are finished. In the interests of fairness, we have devised a competition to see who gets in first.” After receiving assurances that they would be staying in one of the nicer parts of Purgatory, they all agreed and St. Peter began, “Okay then. Top answer moves in today. What is the oldest profession known to man?”

The doctor shot up a hand and stepped forward. “Oh! I know, I know! Surgeon! God extracted a rib from Adam to make Eve. That’s surgery.”

The engineer stepped forward and said, “Before God made Adam and Eve, he created Heaven and Earth and that’s engineering. So engineer is the oldest profession, I do believe.”

They all turned to the economist, who paused for dramatic effect, then answered, “Before the creation of Heaven and Earth, all was chaos. And who do you think created that?”

 

[DaveNV]

You can't make this stuff up. Well, maybe you can...

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80
mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair
he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing
the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him,
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this,
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked
at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is
Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard
before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off
with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

*****************************

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[DaveNV]

Watch it here:

Dave