Stay At Home Humor

[DaveNV]

Decorating Tip for Geeks, #37

Periodic Table.

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Think about the long-suffering Tug Admins before you post something like this.

***********************************

(Substitute "timeshare" for "lightbulb.")

Consider the job the poor admins have with people like us!

How many group members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jerks.
5 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.
49 to post memes and gifs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)
19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.
11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.
24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs
44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.
12 to post F.
8 to ask what F means.
7 to post 'Following' but there's 3 dots at the top right that means you don't have to.
15 to say "can't share"
2 to reply "can't share from a closed group"
36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.
15 People to post "I can't see &$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.
6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "@÷×$"
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.
1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.
20 to give up on social media and take their dogs for a walk instead.
And then somebody announces they are leaving the group over the light bulb post, and someone replies back that this isn't an airport so you don't need to announce your departure.
And one Moderator to close comments before any of that happens.

************************************

Dave

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Think about the long-suffering Tug Admins before you post something like this.

***********************************

(Substitute "timeshare" for "lightbulb.")

Consider the job the poor admins have with people like us!

How many group members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jerks.
5 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.
49 to post memes and gifs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)
19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.
11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.
24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs
44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.
12 to post F.
8 to ask what F means.
7 to post 'Following' but there's 3 dots at the top right that means you don't have to.
15 to say "can't share"
2 to reply "can't share from a closed group"
36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.
15 People to post "I can't see &$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.
6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "@÷×$"
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.
1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.
20 to give up on social media and take their dogs for a walk instead.
And then somebody announces they are leaving the group over the light bulb post, and someone replies back that this isn't an airport so you don't need to announce your departure.
And one Moderator to close comments before any of that happens.

************************************

Dave

You left out the Kardashians of this world, who stick the light bulb in the socket and then stand still as they wait for the world to revolve around them.

 

[Ken555]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Talent312]

Think about the long-suffering Tug Admins before you post something like this.

Who is this "Tug Adams" to whom you refer? I don't think I've seen him here before.
Oh... Nevermind.

 

[Brett]

 

[Passepartout]

 

[DebBrown]

View attachment 44842

There's one in my neighborhood!

 

[Passepartout]

 

[Talent312]

View attachment 44858

My thermostat with Alexa would say: "I'm over here, dummy."
To which I'd reply: "Hey, you're just a thermostat. Stay in your lane."
.
.

 

[Ken555]

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[tombanjo]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Tip o' the hat to Isaac Asimov -----

************

There was no question that Montie Stein had, through clever fraud, stolen better than $100,000. There was also no question that he was apprehended one day after the statute of limitations had expired.

It was his manner of avoiding arrest during that interval that brought on the epoch-making case of the State of New York vs. Montgomery Harlow Stein, with all its consequences introduced law to the fourth dimension. For you see after having committed the fraud and possessed himself of the hundred grand plus, Stein had calmly entered a time machine, of which he was in illegal possession, and set the controls for seven years and one day in the future.

Stein's lawyer put it simply. Hiding in time was not fundamentally different from hiding in space. If the forces of law had not uncovered Stein in the seven-year interval that was their hard luck.

The District Attorney pointed out that the statute of limitations was not intended to be a game between the law and the criminal. It was a merciful measure designed to protect a culprit from indefinitely prolonged fear of arrest. For certain crimes, a denned period of apprehension of apprehension-so to speak-was considered punishment enough. But Stein, the D.A. insisted, had not experienced any period of apprehension at all.

Stein's lawyer remained unmoved. The law said nothing about measuring the extent of a culprit's fear and anguish. It simply set a time limit.

The D.A. said that Stein had not lived through the limit.

Defense stated that Stein was seven years older now than at the time of the crime and had therefore lived through the limit.

The D.A. challenged the statement and the defense produced Stein's birth certificate. He was born in 2973. At the time of the crime, 3004, he was thirty-one. Now, in 3011, he was thirty-eight. The D.A. shouted that Stein was not physiologically thirty-eight, but thirty-one.

Defense pointed out freezingly that the law, once the individual was granted to be mentally competent, recognized solely chronological age, which could be obtained only by subtracting the date of birth from the date of now.

The D.A., growing impassioned, swore that if Stein were allowed to go free, half the laws on the books would be useless.

Then change the laws, said Defense, to take time travel into account; but until the laws are changed, let them be enforced as written.

Judge Neville Preston took a week to consider and then handed down his decision. It was a turning point in the history of law. It is almost a pity, then, that some people suspect Judge Preston to have been swayed in his way of thinking by the irresistible impulse to phrase his decision as he did.

For that decision, in full, was:

'A niche in time saves Stein.'

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

It was a trip down memory lane.

*********

Tech tip - If your phone email app isn't connecting with your mail server, just drop the phone in the toilet. It will sink immediately.

 

[Brett]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[Ralph Sir Edward]

 

[tombanjo]

 

[Ty1on]

View attachment 44893

Don't they know that they are permitted to remove their masks while actively eating or drinking?

 

[Passepartout]

Why Shetland Ponies never caught on in Wyoming! (or Idaho)

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]