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-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.
You know, Alan, I love writing and words. My undergraduate major was English Literature, which of course did not cover grammar but did involve a lot of reading, writing, and thinking about word choice and style. I was especially interested in poetry, and have spent a great number of hours in my lifetime thinking about the significance of a specific word in a specific situation- for example, making a between using the word "handbook" vs. "manual" in a given situation, why might you choose one over the other and what would you be conveying by doing so? The very best language for this is Chinese- classical Chinese poetry absolutely blew my mind- the words have literal meaning, and connotation, and an auditory component, but also this incredible visual component that adds a whole other element to poetry that is not there in Western languages. I honestly almost dropped everything else I was studying to pursue a major in Chinese Literature.
I only state all that to make it perfectly clear that not many people like the written word more than I do, and that I like subtle and polished writing.
However, I think the most important thing one can do with the written word is to communicate a thought effectively. My opinion is the OP did that quite well- with the possible exception of the use of the word "home," which I will admit was slightly confusing. Who cares if you would be more folksy and I would be more syllablistically concise (and more likely to entirely make up a new word like "syllabilistically")? I would be emulating my hero Wm. Shakespeare, who made up many words that were so self-evident in their meaning that from first usage they permanently entered our language. You are more Twainian in your writing, conversation and quite willing to circle around an idea until your point is made. It all adds interest. Everyone should just write in their best style.
But I digress: I think the OP's usage was in essence quite effective and I don't think there was really much to legitimately critique.
H
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