Funerals are important in this family. My husband is a bit over the line - yes, I've declined to go to his childhood friends, brother's, wife... something like that. He watches the obituaries and goes more often than most. Often for mothers of friends.
But I think it's because it meant so much to him for people to come - first to his sister's - his sister was 29. It meant SO much to his parents, the turnout, it left a very lasting impression. And it meant a lot to him for people to come for his Dad's and later his Mom's. He was also raised 'that way' - early on his mother drilled it into him that he should go. And so... my kids are pretty good about going when they shoud. When my mother passed, I asked my son to sing at here service - he and my nephew played guitar (and mandolin) and sang and it meant the world to me.
Grieving, ugg, never ends. Let's not forget the anniversaries. In the air, I can feel it - Friday will be 8 years since my grand-daughter was 'born into heaven'. The picture is good (The box and the circle) - the circle gets bigger for a week or so.