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I Just Cried In My Son's Arms

post-it

post-it

TUG Member
Joined
May 27, 2009
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Location
Diamond Bar, Ca
Well my son had a rough go at his first 2 semesters at college. He improved the 3rd semester, but not enough for avoiding consequences. He now has to sit out (I call it a timeout); this spring semester and can return this summer or fall. Not to my surprise he informed me he feels this is a pull for him to enlist in the army, and will be preparing for a possible departure this fall. I know in heart he's a warrior (this maybe more his calling), and I wasn't completely blindsided by this decision, but my tears came all the same.

He will still re-apply and take the necessary steps for continuing college in case he changes his mind. Always good to have a back up plan.

So glad I booked a family trip this August to Cancun.
:bawl:
 
Glenda, you have my sympathy for sure. I pray there will be no more wars, and that your son can stay in the good ol' USA. That would be my wish, and I would bet it's yours, too.
 
Tell him to stay in college and then he can be on officer when he graduates not just some schlepper.
 
He moved into a place with some friends in Dec, I think this may have been God's way of preparing me for this. Not seeing him every day has been hard enough. There's still time for him to change his mind, no signature on a dotted line yet!
 
I have been down that road with my son, attended a major university for one year(did not do well and got the same letter) and then joined the Air Force about three weeks latter. Shipped to basic training Aug 1st, then to tech school, and then to Germany for two years. My wife and daughter went to Europe for two weeks and he was their guide. When he was discharged he attended Jr college for one semester in Austin then moved back home(but he has his own apt). He now attends a small regional university, does well and has a girl friend. He has a part-time job in addition to his BHA from the VA. The VA pays for all his tuition and he gets about $300 a semester for books. He goes to the VA hospital for health care. He matured in the Air Force and if he had not enlisted I doubt he would have continued his college education. He will be fine. P.S. I served in the Air Force from 1965-1969, went to college and graduated thru the GI Bill. BHA is his monthly housing allowance he will receive while attending college.
 
One of the best things I ever did was drop out of college and join the Army. After my tour was up I finished college near the top of my class on the GI Bill. There is no question that I was a more focused student as a result of my military service.

George
 
bogey21 said:
One of the best things I ever did was drop out of college and join the Army. After my tour was up I finished college near the top of my class on the GI Bill. There is no question that I was a more focused student as a result of my military service.

George
Click to expand...

I get everything you're saying, and I also think it's just a matter of time before he would drop out. My son will be 21 this year so if this is the path for him I think it's best to move it along.
 
{{HUGS}} {{HUGS}} and more {{HUGS}}

I am a college professor and there are a fair number of students there who aren't really ready for it. I can understand that, as way back when I wasn't ready for it either (I majored in my future DH LOL, and my first semester was a disaster grade-wise). I finished, and later went on for grad work and excelled.

However, I can understand that some (many) students following that traditional path really aren't ready for it, or it just isn't their thing. Enlisting can be good - but of course we have to hope he's not in a dangerous place - and then he'll have funding for his remaining college if that's what he wants to do.

I find that the kids presently in ROTC are generally not the greatest students, but the older ones who have already been in the Army or Guard and are more mature tend to be my very best students, just like George's example.

And if staying in Army is what he wants, that's great. If he wants to move up, he could go back to school in ROTC or go through OCS. And if staying enlisted is what works for him, that's just fine - he's not "just some schlepper".
 
Some people are born to be students.

Some people aren't.

Some people are ready to go to college right out of high school.

Some people aren't.

Some people are perfect for the military.

Some people aren't.

Those are simple statements. Figuring out which "some people" you are, that's the hard part.

Here's hoping your son finds his place.
 
e.bram said:
Tell him to stay in college and then he can be on officer when he graduates not just some schlepper.
Click to expand...

A society's greatest days are when everyone is willing to be a "schlepper". A society's darkest days come when no one is willing to be.

Just sayin'
 
My DS did ROTC in High school and enlisted in the national guard his junior year. He went to basic that summer between jr/sr year and then ait after sr year. Went to community college and didn't finish the classes. Next semester he took several classes and finished. Had the opportunity to volunteer for deployment which he took. Has been at training off and on since summer and will deploy on the 11th of feb.

He now thinks he wants to go to school when he gets back. We'll see.

Like your son, he just wasn't ready for college. I hope he will be when he returns.
 
laurac260 said:
A society's greatest days are when everyone is willing to be a "schlepper". A society's darkest days come when no one is willing to be.

Just sayin'
Click to expand...

Another request for a Like button on TUG! Or at least a thumbs up smilie that can go in posts, not just outside of them.
 
Growing Up Is Hard To Do.

post-it said:
Well my son had a rough go at his first 2 semesters at college. He improved the 3rd semester, but not enough for avoiding consequences. He now has to sit out (I call it a timeout); this spring semester and can return this summer or fall. Not to my surprise he informed me he feels this is a pull for him to enlist in the army, and will be preparing for a possible departure this fall. I know in heart he's a warrior (this maybe more his calling), and I wasn't completely blindsided by this decision, but my tears came all the same.
Click to expand...
I was a terrible college student -- started off in a newly created honors-style program, then got sidetracked into Animal House, with predictable consequences.

I was on academic "warning" after my 1st semester. The first time I got my GPA up to 2.0 was via a semester of 2 As + 2 Fs + 1C -- a "C" average the hard way.

It was extremely difficult explaining that to my parents, who had high hopes for me.

I managed to avoid suspension -- just barely. Not only did I not flunk out, I managed to graduate in only 4 years + 2 summer sessions.

That was in 1964. My mother & father passed away in 1982 & 2002, respectively. I worked for a living & retired in 1998 from a decent -- better than decent -- civil service job. So I have pretty much lived it down after all this time.

Even so, I occasionally feel guilt-like pangs for wasting such an outstanding educational opportunity & for behaving like such an irresponsible doofus instead of showing up for class & hitting the books, etc.

The only way I can salve my conscience by the realization that the way things worked out -- starting off irresponsible & growing into reliability as I matured -- is much to be preferred over the opposite.

Good luck to you, & to your son. If he answers the call to serve his country in uniform, he will not only be helping protect us all but he will also be learning & growing in maturity as he serves. That might be as valuable as anything he could learn in the halls of academe, who knows ?

God bless you.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​
 
I dropped out 4 times before I gave up and realized that higher education wasn't right for me. I'm not stupid; I did well in high school, got high SATs, and then dropped out of Cornell twice, then Pitt, then community college.

It just wasn't right for me. In my early 30s I got into sales, and I've made a life and a career out of it. 30 years on, I have a beautiful family and a daughter who LOVES education.

Point being: he's not stupid, most likely it's just not right for him. There are MANY paths available for fulfillment and contribution. He may do well in the military, and he may find something that suits him more than "book learning".

Meanwhile, he needs to know that there's no shame in failing at something he isn't cut out for. I couldn't get past the feeling that I was a total loser, and I wasted many years drifting before I found my call. You, as his mom, need to keep him focused toward the future. Not the past. Not the present (that's drifting). The future.
 
If I might add a comment (and with the understanding that my husband spent 20 years in the US Air Force) - why the Army? As a parent (and especially a mother) we got to know members of all the armed forces by serving at unified commands and I have always felt a deep appreciation for the Air Force. Of course, I attribute our time in the desert to my son joining the Navy. He went thru two years of community college, kept his grades up and transferred to the university - the Navy paid for his education and gave him a nice stipend in exchange for 5 years active duty as a commissioned officer. If he resigns after five years (and who knows where the economy will be) - he will have five years of experience under his belt! Alas, I am not too happy that two of those years might be served on a ship but, you never know!!:shrug:
 
Ah, as a mother my heart goes out to you. Your son is growing and maturing already by making this thought out decision about his future. It seems a good sign that he realizes he isn't ready for college now and made an informed choice on joining the military. My prayers for you are that the sorrow and loss you feel on your son growing up and joining the military will be replaced with the pride of knowing you raised a brave and selfless man that volunteered to serve our country and its citizens. ((Hugs))

I find it interesting that you say you have always known he was a warrior. My father was a career army "schlepper" as some on this board would say. I remember his sister and brother telling stories about how he would say from the time he was 3 or 4 years old that he wanted to join the army when he grew up. He loved this country and keeping it safe was his calling. The military and military families really do sacrifice a lot for our country. It definitely takes a special type of person!
 
I did 20 years in the Navy and had no idea what I was getting into when I joined. I never thought about the Army, but it is a lot more dangerous than the Navy or Air Force. If he is not ready for college, take him down to the Air Force recruiter and try to get him to join with them. If that doesn't work, go for the Navy. Once he has done a few years in the service, college will seem easy. Bottom line is that if he joins the Army or Marines, he will end up forward deployed in a hostile country and risking his life and possibly being seriously injured or disabled for the rest of his life.

Also, try to enlist in a trade that will pay off. Something like Air Traffic Control, electronics, aircraft mechanics, etc... The Air Guard is looking for mechanics on the F22 and will provide a full time job for 20 years in the same city. The Air Guard is one of the best deals around if the Air Force doesn't work.
 
Not everyone is cut from the same mold. We encourage our children to attend college, because that's what we believe is best for them. The reality is, not everyone is destined for a college education.

Too many parents are hell bent on pushing their kids through college, come hell or high water. I have absolutely nothing against college, and at one time I believed *every* kid should get a college education. I don't believe this anymore. Some should not, opting for a career in labor/industry, the military or whatever drives and motivates them.

What your son needs is your love and support. I'm sure you'll give it to him. Best wishes.
 
tompalm said:
Also, try to enlist in a trade that will pay off. Something like Air Traffic Control, electronics, aircraft mechanics, etc...
Click to expand...

One looking for a trade education shouldn't limit themselves one of the "safer" branches of the service. My Son enlisted in the Marine Corps with a guarantee of aircraft hydraulics training. Boot camp made him a better person. The eight years of training, job experience and world travel he received while on active duty were fantastic. In addition he now has many lifetime Marine friends he would never have met were it not for enlisting.

George
 
I'm amazed at the courage it takes for young people to make so selfless a choice as military service, and I'm amazed at the courage it takes for mothers and fathers to watch their children go off and serve. Post-it, good luck to your son and tell him "thank you," and good wishes for you and the rest of the family. I'm sure you will enjoy your August vacation VERY much. :)
 
So mad I can barely see straight...

Schlepper? Well, I guess y'all took care of that comment...and I understand where he was coming from. But truthfully, some kids need a few years under a helmet to fully appreciate what honest effort can provide.

My USMC Corporal son is a fine case study. Bombed out of college his Junior year rather spectacularly. Enlisted because he really needed to. Deployed twice, married now, baby, and starting at the local college on the GI Bill. Entirely different focus now that he is 5 years older and much wiser. Oh, and he barely tolerates the now VERY young college party crowd...pretty amazing if you knew him then. Actually, to see him turn to jello with his new daughter rather tickles me.



My real issue is with comment from Tompalm...

Seriously? Don't join the Army or Marines because they might be deployed? Sheesh...got choice words for you but can't say them here...but from this Marine, you have earned my disgust (which isn't easy to do) and pretty much epitomize everything I ever disliked about the Navy. which was limited to certain rare individuals.

BTW, the warrior does not enlist for the job...I'll leave it to you to figure out what motivates a warrior...you might need to look it up...and it's not combat.
 
Where am I?

I'm new to this site and looking for shared info regarding timeshares, but all I can find are family and military postings...is this the timshare users group?
 
ok, thank you...I don't know how I ended up in such an off-topic area, but thanks for the link. I thought I walked into somebody's living room for a minute there...
 
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