:ignore: First, the bystander that helped was a man. He did not punch a women or girl. There was another bystander that offered to pay for the t-shirts. The store employee was enraged, and screaming even at this person, and said he would not allow him to pay for the shirts because this kid had ruined his life, and was going to jail. If you have a teenager, you realize that most don't plan beyond the next 5 minutes. I think he did a completely stupid thing. He went into the store, saw the shirts, didn't have any money, and decided to try something stupid. Once he was caught, he became extremely upset, realizing what he had done. I don's think he thought at all about the possible consequences of his actions if he was caught. When the store employee was so out of control, yelling and screaming at him, telling him he had ruined his life...his panic took him, and he punched him. From what I heard, the employee was a little out of control, too. In a situation like this, I think it is important for everyone to stay level headed and calm. The young man knew he would be kicked out of school (honor code violation), and since he had been alienating his parents who adopted him, he probably wondered what would happen to him. There were no drugs or alcohol involved. To my knowledge, he has never done anything like this or been involved with drugs and alcohol. Most kids here have a sort of reverse peer pressure. There is a pressure to be perfect all the time. I hate to say it, but we have one of the highest suicide rates in the nation here in SLC for males 18-24. When the police found this young man, he was so upset, he could not talk, and was shaking uncontrollable. I do not know if he contacted his biological mom, but I do know that his biological father was contacted when he was in jail. His biological father did not come. His parents who adopted him did come. They came the night he was arrested, but did not have the money to bail him out. They came back the next morning with a bondsman and did. He is back in school temporarily until the hearing in December. No matter what happens, he will not be allowed back to college next semester. I would hope that this young man, first off, gets counseling. I think that he has some unresolved issues about being adopted that he has not addressed (probably because the focus has always been on his autistic sister). I think he needs anger management classes, too. I hope he will be able to come home, be under his parent’s supervision, and get a job to pay of the debt. And lastly, I think community service would be appropriate. If this had been only about shoplifting he would have to pay a fine of $500, and do community service. I think the whole situation escalated because it was handled poorly. I really don't think punching the employee means this young man is a threat to society, and that jail time would be the lesson you would want him to learn. There are other ways of helping him learn from a bad decision that are more instructive. Of course, this is not up to me to decide, and I trust the court system (and judges) to make the appropriate decision in this case.
As a side story, this summer some younger kids (11, 13, and 16) in the neighborhood rode their golf cart down to the grocery store, and shoplifted some candy. The store called the police, and not only did they get caught for stealing the candy, but sited for riding their golf cart on the sidewalk. These kids totally got off with little or no consequence because of who their parents are, and more importantly who there grandfather is. There may have even been some BASKETBALL tickets involved. There have been numerous problems with these kids in the neighborhood for years and complaining to their parents has little or no consequence. They have stolen things out of my yard, which I have gone over to their house and retrieved. My son caught them climbing on our roof. We think they thought no one was home, and they were going to climb in an upstairs window. I have caught the youngest one out with steak knives playing, and shooting his own dog with his air soft gun. I tried to explain that he was hurting the dog. He told me the dog didn't have any feelings. When he was 8, he jumped on the little girl across the street, and started choking her. He was at the community pool with a man's wallet stuffed full of money ($100 +++) that he said "his grandfather gave him". If you say anything to him, you can be sure he will do something to you. I even found my windshield broken, but I could not prove he did it. There were numerous homes vandalized in the neighborhood that these kid where seen "playing". His parents merely respond, "boys will be boys". They are too busy to keep track of him, and he is unsupervised most of the time. I have told his parent’s unequivocally that I do not want him in my yard anymore. I will not tolerate anymore of his "pranks". I will pursue legal action if necessary. I tell you this because
this is the kid that worries and scares me. He will most likely grow up, and because there has never been a consequence to his actions, he will continue to make bad choices and reek havoc on other people. There will probably be lots of out of court settlements to hide his malicious behavior. This is in sharp contrast to the young man above who has never done anything like this before, has been a good student, has continually been involved in service projects, and has parents there to love and discipline him. I know which young men will turn out to be the real menace.
In my own defense, I am not a mean or strict person either. I am actually quite tenderhearted when it comes to kids. In the summer, I keep pop sickles in my garage freezer all the time, which I give to the neighborhood kids. I make sure I know all the kids in the neighborhood by name, and something that is important to them. When I pick up my daughter, I am quick to offer a ride home to the other kids. I always buy lemonade at the kid’s stands (I don't always drink it.) I tell you this not to make myself look good, but because I don't want you to think I am quick to judge a kid to be good or bad.
