• The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 30 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day!
  • TUG started 30 years ago in October 1993 as a group of regular Timeshare owners just like you!

    Read about our 30th anniversary: Happy 30th Birthday TUG!
  • TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce weekly short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!

    Free memberships for every 50 subscribers!

    Visit TUG on Youtube!
  • TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $21,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!

    Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $21 Million dollars
  • Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free!

    60,000+ subscribing owners! A weekly recap of the best Timeshare resort reviews and the most popular topics discussed by owners!
  • Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!

    All T-shirt options here!
  • A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!

How Do You Respond?

NWL

TUG Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
1,297
Reaction score
0
Location
Montana
My family (sister, BIL, niece and nephew) and I are leaving today for a week at Marriott Grande Vista. I exchanged a 1 bedroom for a 3 bedroom in order for all of us to go. We're all really looking forward to it. My BIL and I will be playing a little golf while there. My BIL keeps complaining about the cost to play the Grande Vista course ($61). The cost seems reasonable to me considering the on-site location and the condition of the course. He is willing to drive 2 hours round trip to play a course that costs $50 a round.

My question is: how would you respond to his complaints about the cost of the course at Grande Vista? I have to admit his complaints bug me since he would not be there at all without my exchanging my unit. I can only come up with snarky comments and that is definitely not appropriate in this case. Please help me with a response that will get him to stop complaining without causing friction. ;)

Cheers!
 

DeniseM

Moderator
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
58,119
Reaction score
9,696
Location
Northern, CA
Resorts Owned
WKORV, WKV, SDO, 4-Kauai Beach Villas, Island Park Village (Yellowstone), Hyatt High Sierra, Dolphin's Cove (Anaheim) NEW: 2 Lawa'i Beach Resort!
Just hand him $11 and smile sweetly...
 

Passepartout

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
28,730
Reaction score
17,625
Location
Twin Falls, Eye-Duh-Hoe
Sheesh! I'd shrug and say something like 'If he wants to stay in a small hotel room to save $11 on greens fees it's up to him. Otherwise stuff a rag in it and enjoy the new course'.

Some people just can't be satisfied.

Have fun. Enjoy your trip in spite of it.

Jim
 

Elan

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
4,472
Reaction score
436
Location
Idaho
Well, if it's definitely just $11 more than driving an hour, I'd wonder if there's not more to it than the cost. Maybe he doesn't like the course? Or are there other restrictions (must ride, etc) that he could find objectionable? Almost seems like there has to be something else.
 
Last edited:
L

laurac260

My family (sister, BIL, niece and nephew) and I are leaving today for a week at Marriott Grande Vista. I exchanged a 1 bedroom for a 3 bedroom in order for all of us to go. We're all really looking forward to it. My BIL and I will be playing a little golf while there. My BIL keeps complaining about the cost to play the Grande Vista course ($61). The cost seems reasonable to me considering the on-site location and the condition of the course. He is willing to drive 2 hours round trip to play a course that costs $50 a round.

My question is: how would you respond to his complaints about the cost of the course at Grande Vista? I have to admit his complaints bug me since he would not be there at all without my exchanging my unit. I can only come up with snarky comments and that is definitely not appropriate in this case. Please help me with a response that will get him to stop complaining without causing friction. ;)

Cheers!

Offer to pay the $11 extra to save the drive in the car, but if you win, he buys first round.
 

vacationhopeful

TUG Review Crew: Rookie
TUG Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
12,760
Reaction score
1,699
Location
Northeast USA
Google golf courses in the 100 mile radius for a $50 fee - when he complains, give him the list and say, "Have a nice play! I be staying here to golf."

If there are NONE, give him the list with the green fees. Then walk away to practice putt. Any more comments from him should be met with, "Put a sock in it. It is what it is. This ain't Kansas."

Hope you are not feeding him all week.

PS Talk to your sister in advance. Express your concerns. She might be able to defuse him by saying, "This is a great vacation. I am sure golf might be more expensive than you pay at home; but sis needs a real stressfree and golf is a great stress killer. I be back at the unit cooking your favorite dish".
 

Elan

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
4,472
Reaction score
436
Location
Idaho
Maybe he objects to the course's stuffy "No cutoff jeans allowed" rule?
 

glypnirsgirl

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
2,814
Reaction score
33
Location
Fort Worth, Texas
I think that this is a case of complaining in order to maintain a sense of superiority.

One of the things that I have found with people that are insecure is that instead of being thankful or grateful (which I think that they interpret to be somehow LESS of a person), that they complain. Thus be complaining, they can show that they are more discerning and therefore maintain their superiority, or at least their equality.

Bearing that in mind, I would ask, "what do you suggest we do?"

I prefer to ask an open-ended question rather than proposing a solution because it keeps you out of the "yes, but" objecting game.

elaine
 

ronparise

TUG Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2011
Messages
12,664
Reaction score
2,134
I dont understand why anyone would pay anything to chase a little white ball around the country side...but thats me

2 hours each way to save $11 seems just a "little penny wise and pound foolish" so clearly its not the money. He must be doing it to make a point...who knows what that point might be.

at 40 miles an hour thats 160 miles in my car about a half a tank of gas...considerably more than $11...not to mention the lost time...He'll be spending all day for a round of golf. Pay the extra $11 and he could read a book, play with the kids, cook a gourmet meal for the rest of you, relax by the pool, etc etc

Why not offer to take him to dinner at a time when you are sure he will be on the road
 

rickandcindy23

TUG Review Crew: Elite
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
32,875
Reaction score
9,637
Location
The Centennial State
Resorts Owned
Wyndham Founder; Disney OKW & SSR; Marriott's Willow Ridge and Shadow Ridge,Grand Chateau; Val Chatelle; Hono Koa OF (3); SBR(LOTS), SDO a few; Grand Palms(selling); WKORV-OF ,Westin Desert Willow.
Playing golf away from the resort seems silly for $11.00 savings. I liked Elaine's suggestion:

Bearing that in mind, I would ask, "what do you suggest we do?"
 

funtime

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,392
Reaction score
146
Location
Dallas
I think that this is a case of complaining in order to maintain a sense of superiority.

One of the things that I have found with people that are insecure is that instead of being thankful or grateful (which I think that they interpret to be somehow LESS of a person), that they complain. Thus be complaining, they can show that they are more discerning and therefore maintain their superiority, or at least their equality.

Bearing that in mind, I would ask, "what do you suggest we do?"

I prefer to ask an open-ended question rather than proposing a solution because it keeps you out of the "yes, but" objecting game.

elaine

glypnirsgirl has hit the nail on the head. He is complaining just to complain and I do not think you should take this seriously nor do I suggest you try to accommodate him - unless you are his golfing partner. If it was not that, he would be complaining about location of the unit or the fact that there is not daily maid service. I would take the high road and just ask the open ended question as suggested. You are feeling pushed out of shape as he does not appear appreciative of your vacation efforts. Not sure how to get over this but if you understand the psychology behind the complaint you can deal with it better. Funtime
 

Chrisky

TUG Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
880
Reaction score
359
Location
Canada
I like Vacationhopeful's suggestion. Find a few golf courses in his price range, give him the list, and say 'pick the course you want to play' I'll be playing here, and leave it at that. I also hope you're not covering their meals!!
 

dougp26364

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
14,582
Reaction score
3,318
Location
Kansas
Resorts Owned
Marriott Grand Chateau
Marriott Shadow Ridge
Marriott Ocean Pointe
Marriott Destination Club Points
Hilton Grand Vacation Club Las Vegas Blvd
Grand Colorado on Peak 8
Spinnaker French Quarter Resort Branson
I'd do one of two things.

1. I'd pay the $11 difference and tell him it's worth it to me not to have to drive 2 hours.

2. Tell him he'll have to pay for the gas to drive to the other course. Fill up the tank before leaving, then let him fill it up when you get back.

Personally, I'd pay his extra $11 just to not have to ride in the car with him for 2 hours.
 

vckempson

TUG Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2010
Messages
980
Reaction score
3
Location
Sparta, NJ
If you're like me, one round is not enough if I bring my clubs.

Just say, "How 'bout we play here today, and we'll see what we want to do for the next round afterwards."

After that I'd then get a list of some other courses, and then say, "not for nothing, but 1/2 hour is my limit to drive. Playing a round takes up enough time as it is and I don't want to be too inconsiderate to the others." Hand him the list and ask him to find something in that range.
 

jlr10

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2005
Messages
1,230
Reaction score
4
I agree with the others. Tell him you are on vacation and don't want to spend time driving to do what you can do at the resort, but he is more than welcome to make the 2 hour drive. Give him the keys to the rental car, and tell him to be sure to fill up the tank on his way back to the resort.
 

jme

TUG Member
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
Messages
4,848
Reaction score
3,170
Location
Southeast,TUG since '98
Resorts Owned
Marriotts:
Grande Ocean x 6
Barony x 2
OceanWatch x 1
Manor Club x 1
.
Waterside by Spin x 2
Sheraton Bdw Pln x2
ChurchSt/Charleston x2
I decided at least ten times today not to respond, but being me, I can't ignore this one any longer. After only four words into your post the problem became readily apparent------he's your "BIL" !!! That's the problem straightaway. WHY? Because more frequently than not, in-laws seem to be able to say the dumbest, meanest things, yet they always remain "safe", by marriage. Or at least they feel they can.

I think everyone here is being far too kind.

Imagine....he's in Orlando, land of the outrageous theme parks and mega-resorts, and he's complaining about an "excess" of $11 for a greens fee?? Wow. He has no clue.

At Hilton Head there's a great golf course that guys die to play.....Harbour Town Golf Links....and the fee is $250, and most are ecstatic to pay it. They even go home and brag about it. Strange, but it's their little "red badge of courage". An article googled says most HH course average around $100. So your $61 fee is WAY below average for a resort area course, and GV's course is nice, as you point out! He should count his blessings. He's there because of your generosity, probably to your sister and not to him, but that's irrelevant. He's along for the free ride, I presume. Sure sounds like it. He's got some gall to say a word.

Face it, he's a jack-leg. Say you guys play three rounds---that's only a $33 "surcharge" in his eyes. For Orlando, on a FREE VACATION staying with you, he should be something other than the "North end of a South-bound mule". (Being from Montana, maybe he would understand that metaphor.) Frankly, he should be paying YOUR greens fee! Can't believe he's complaining about possible forking over an extra $11 per round..... in Orlando....on vacation.....when the accommodations are free.

Personally I wouldn't give him any "difference money"......not one dime. That's a joke, and only makes you an enabler. Are you going to "pay the difference" if he orders a steak when out to dinner? It'll never end.

So I strongly disagree with others here. He's a cheapskate. So, the fact that YOU'RE also HIS BIL, you now have the right (LOL) to say anything also, and remain safe. I know, you don't wish to create waves, and that's commendable, but you should at least print out a few of these posts and put them in his suitcase for some pleasurable reading. Sadly, I know his type. And I truly despise ungrateful mooches.

I'd most likely get up the first morning and head to the golf course without him, and remind him later that he "didn't wish to play there". End of story. Maybe he'll cry. Let him find and pay for his own activities. MAYBE it will change your FUTURE if he understands your stance. You are not wrong for your concern, and this is really not an earth-shattering dilemma, but it's something that will no doubt continue to nag you, until you make your feelings known.

Good luck. I also have one of these....a cheapskate BIL, and yes, he knows my feelings, and he doesn't get anything from me. But a grateful person gets anything and everything from me----it just works that way in this life. I'm a giver, not taker, but sometimes you just can't stoop. I don't feel better yet having posted this, but maybe in a while.....forgive me if I sound a bit over-worked. I just know how one little comment can ruin a good thing sometimes. Keep us informed please.....and have a wonderful week if you can...ha ha. If you bite your lip too severely, I'll sew it back for you.....
 

Big Matt

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
6,166
Reaction score
1,627
Location
Northern Virginia
Sounds like he should go every day. Give him as much as it takes. 2 hours round trip plus about 6 hours for golf will keep him away for most of the day.
 

pjrose

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2005
Messages
8,739
Reaction score
15
Location
Central PA USA
Say "Hey, the gas will cost more than the $11; I'm going to stay here and play, but of course if you want to go there yourself, you can fill up the tank and go"
 

Timeshare Von

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
7,094
Reaction score
1,775
Location
Milwaukee, WI
Resorts Owned
Wyndham (77k points at Myrtle Beach/Westwinds)
I'd have a drink or two one evening before a golf outting, and let the snarky comment rip.

Your BIL seems pretty ungrateful, especially over $11 and a +2 hr drive.

Maybe you should charge him 2/3 of what you have invested in the T/S week (MF for the trader + exchange fee) since they have 2 of the 3 BR's.
 
Last edited:

ampaholic

TUG Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2010
Messages
2,305
Reaction score
1
Location
Spokane
My Pain in the tukus BIL recently had a pretty severe stroke and true to form he refused the medication that may have reversed the effects. He is now bedridden and can't speak.

So, my advice is to cherish every round you have with him, wherever it occurs.

11 bucks is dust. :(
 

caribbeansun

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
0
Location
Ontario, Canada
You won't get him to stop complaining so what's your next request?

I'd say that I'm quite happy to play at this course as a single so if he'd like to pay for the rental car and the gas he is welcome to golf anywhere he'd care to.

Please help me with a response that will get him to stop complaining without causing friction. ;)

Cheers!
 

geekette

Guest
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
10,777
Reaction score
5,531
My family (sister, BIL, niece and nephew) and I are leaving today for a week at Marriott Grande Vista. I exchanged a 1 bedroom for a 3 bedroom in order for all of us to go. We're all really looking forward to it. My BIL and I will be playing a little golf while there. My BIL keeps complaining about the cost to play the Grande Vista course ($61). The cost seems reasonable to me considering the on-site location and the condition of the course. He is willing to drive 2 hours round trip to play a course that costs $50 a round.

My question is: how would you respond to his complaints about the cost of the course at Grande Vista? I have to admit his complaints bug me since he would not be there at all without my exchanging my unit. I can only come up with snarky comments and that is definitely not appropriate in this case. Please help me with a response that will get him to stop complaining without causing friction. ;)

Cheers!

"well, it is what it is, and it's not ridiculous, and is very convenient. You don't have to play this course if you don't want to, but I am."

You could also suggest he look for coupons, if they exist. Maybe he could do the timeshare tour??

I don't see how 2 hrs drive is worth $11, but, I'm not a golfer so maybe I jsut don't "get it."
 

Kay H

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
1,649
Reaction score
0
Location
South Jersey
I'd most likely get up the first morning and head to the golf course without him, and remind him later that he "didn't wish to play there". End of story. ..

I would never have thought of this but it sounds like a great idea. Maybe he'll take the hint. I can't stand chronic complainers.
 

Sea Six

TUG Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
4,045
Reaction score
872
Location
Marco Island, FL
Resorts Owned
Club Regency - Marco Island
Lagunamar - Cancun
Vistana Villages Key West (2) - Orlando
If he wants to drive 4 hours, there's a course down here that's only $20.
 
Top