- Joined
- Jul 13, 2015
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- Hgvc Anderson
I have been where you are with my dad. He was in a Nursing Home for his last few years. You can only do the best you can do. There comes a time we just are not able to do what we want to do and than have to try to get them the best care we can, which is often not as good as we want for them. I am not a deeply religious person but do believe in a higher power. A man of faith once told me, be kind, do the best you can and than release it to the Lords hands. This has helped me very much.I can't even bear to begin telling you the nightmares of the two of three facilities my now 103 year old mother has been in over the last year. First for re-hab at two and now for long term care. All three offer independent living, assisted living, memory care and long term care (nursing). One was non-profit church affiliated and the facility was like a five start hotel. The care was much better too but because Mother went there for re-hab and they determined she could not improve they discharged her and had a six month waiting list for long term care. She had not bought into their plan so we had to move her. The other two have been pretty bad. It's the little things that are so frustrating. At $15,700 a month one would think the care would be better. Sadly, those who are paid the least spend the most time with Mother and have the least pleasant jobs. Many just try to do as little as they possibly can and then do it roughly and poorly. It breaks my heart and the guilt of having to have her there eats me up.
The fact that the care was better in non-profit affiliated facility does show there are better places if we plan. I think those of us that have elders that didn't plan and needed this higher level of care understand and think about the what if for ourselves.