Have you planned what to do if you can't care for yourself as you age? CCRC is one option.

[clifffaith]

California also has a law that requires health care workers in facilities to be paid a minimum of $25 per hour.

Did that bill actually go through, or has it stalled? We were hearing grumbling about that a couple years ago because wait staff at assisted living/nursing/memory care were going to fall under the the health care facility rule which meant our independent living staff would possibly have to be paid more to keep them from wanting to leave for the other part of our community. Seems like the issue went quiet so I don’t know what’s happening.

 

[WinniWoman]

What states are you reference to in your post. The Commonwealth of Virginia is not one of the states.

I worked in NY. I also am familiar with PA and VT as I have friends there who have experienced it for years first hand. Can’t speak for anyplace else.

 

[VacationForever]

Did that bill actually go through, or has it stalled? We were hearing grumbling about that a couple years ago because wait staff at assisted living/nursing/memory care were going to fall under the the health care facility rule which meant our independent living staff would possibly have to be paid more to keep them from wanting to leave for the other part of our community. Seems like the issue went quiet so I don’t know what’s happening.

The bill went into effect in Oct 2024, and will ultimately reach $25 per hour. $23 per hour at large hospital systems effective Oct 2024, $18 at rural and safety net hospitals.

A minimum wage increase for California health care workers is finally kicking in

California’s minimum wage law for health care workers is set to take effect in October 2024, raising pay for employees at hospitals and clinics.

calmatters.org

 

[rapmarks]

I had to place my husband after several falls and severe dementia.
I have very mixed emotions
The nursing facility where he went for rehab was awful. After he caught COVID there, I was finally allowed back to see him. He was naked and every stitch of clothing had disappeared from his room, never found again.
I moved him to paid care, but within a few months he got so bad he was being kicked out.
He was extremely difficult by that time.
But I wanted to report about a neighbor whose brother who had dementia was in the same home and was moved out to a different home. This place was supposedly top of the line. The brother of the patient and the daughter visited all the time. The brother went on a Saturday night and when he decided to leave, he discovered he was locked in. He spent over an hour trying to find a staff member to let him out. There were no staff members in the facility. He eventually had to call the emergency number to be let out. As he said, everything was for show, they actually were not taking care.

 

[jorcus]

My parents live in a very nice CCRC. They are in an A type plan where they had a large and entrance fee that after a short amount of time is non refundable. One thing to keep in mind is a good portion of that is tax deductible in that first year. If you have money stashed in 401k's consider using that money to buy in as the offsetting tax burden. Talk to an advisor if you are making this move as it can help quite a bit.

 

[Panina]

My parents live in a very nice CCRC. They are in an A type plan where they had a large and entrance fee that after a short amount of time is non refundable. One thing to keep in mind is a good portion of that is tax deductible in that first year. If you have money stashed in 401k's consider using that money to buy in as the offsetting tax burden. Talk to an advisor if you are making this move as it can help quite a bit.

You have to be careful how much you convert to a Roth. Medicare plus the drug plan consider it income for calculating how much you pay for your monthly medicare and drug premiums. I was surprised how much higher it can be per month. While your biggest deduction is year one in a CCRC and cannot carry over to the following year it might be better to convert smaller amounts over a few years.

2025 Medicare Parts A & B Premiums and Deductibles | CMS

On November 8, 2024, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) released the 2025 premiums, deductibles, and coinsurance amounts for the Medicare Part A and Part B programs, and the 2025 Medicare Part D income-related monthly adjustment amounts. Medicare Part B Premium and...

www.cms.gov

 

[Tia]

$25/hour is not that great of wage in my 2¢ opinion, not for what they do and are responsible for. Think they maybe still fighting to stop minimum staffing/nursing requirements , https://skillednursingnews.com/2025...ill-alive-as-hhs-appeals-april-court-ruling/#

A retired RN I knew was trying to help her daughter in law pass the CNA test in CO, certified nursing assistant, she couldn't believe what knowledge level was required to pass

 

[Brett]

What states are you reference to in your post. The Commonwealth of Virginia is not one of the states.

Actually the "Commonwealth" is one those states. But like WinniWoman said "High turnover. Lack of motivation. Dishonesty. Unreliability" exist in some nursing home/assisted living facilities. My mother's assisted living facility in Northern Virginia was upscale and "luxury" but it had staffing shortages and 'quality of care' concerns

 

[pedro47]

Please visit any nursing home/assisted living facilities between the hours 6P, to 12:01 AM and observe the number of employees working: especially RN & LPN ?

A real shocker are the number of employees working on major holidays.

 

[pedro47]

Actually the "Commonwealth" is one those states. But like WinniWoman said "High turnover. Lack of motivation. Dishonesty. Unreliability" exist in some nursing home/assisted living facilities. My mother's assisted living facility in Northern Virginia was upscale and "luxury" but it had staffing shortages and 'quality of care' concerns

Thr average worker pay for a health aide in Virgimia is under $20 per hour; unless they are working in the Northern Virginia areas.

 

[Panina]

Actually the "Commonwealth" is one those states. But like WinniWoman said "High turnover. Lack of motivation. Dishonesty. Unreliability" exist in some nursing home/assisted living facilities. My mother's assisted living facility in Northern Virginia was upscale and "luxury" but it had staffing shortages and 'quality of care' concerns

Please visit any nursing home/assisted living facilities between the hours 6P, to 12:01 AM and observe the number of employees working: especially RN & LPN ?

A real shocker are the number of employees working on major holidays.

There is no doubt there are negative issues in nursing homes and assisted living establishments. With that acknowledged if you age at home and do not have family to take care of you or to watched the hired help 24 hours a day it can be just as bad. Good help at home is very hard to get and if you have no family you as an elder have to navigate it alone. What if you can't? Sometimes the help doesn't come and the agency can't find someone else.

One can only try to plan and make the best choices on what is available. I have two friends who told me it will be their child's responsibility to take care of them when they can't take care of themselves. They assume they will live with their child. I really can't understand that as I would not want a child of mine to go thru what I have with my parents.

 

[rapmarks]

I have a friend who turned 100 in May.
She was living alone, but now she has a helper, but I don’t know if she stays round the clock. Ironically, she lives right across the street from a gorgeous assisted living facility. Until last fall,she played bridge every Thursday. The group dissolved when the three 91 year olds ended up in care last winter. She gave up her car when she turned 99.

 

[Glynda]

Is it true that most assisted community facilities pay just minimum wages to health aide workers and the turn over rate in that occupation is very high?

Also, is it also true, that most assisted community facilities do not employ enough RN staff to the ratio of the number of senior citizens living in their facilities?

Another YES and YES from me! They also do not employ enough aides for full time care patients.

 

[geekette]

Previously my plan was to be rolled out in a wheelchair on a beachfront cliff and forget to set the break.
But the only person who agreed to be a part of the plan, my husband, has since died.
So, no plan currently in place, but on my list of things to do.

We think alike. I’m ok with demise at sea. I’d rather walk on out and pretend I can swim to the horizon. If I can feed a shark that would otherwise attack someone else, seems like a good trade.

 

[amycurl]

Our family had a close friend that apparently, during the height of COVID, experienced significant mental decline. She decided, in close consultation with her children, to stop eating and drinking when she was still clear enough of mind to do so--she was in her late 70s. They shared it during a worship service, and then she actually had the blessing of hearing others share their love and memories with her--when she was still alive to hear them. How many of us wish we could be at our own memorial? She kinda was.

Afterwards, even though she had not seen me in over five years, she came up to me, gave me a big hug, and then proceeded to ask about my DD (who was not with us, but whom she had seen with my mother numerous times in more recent years.) She declared that she had been so looking forward to eating one of my mother's muffins (which she brings with her to Meeting,) and then remembered that she wasn't supposed to be eating or drinking! She told me this with a huge laugh and smile on her face. The whole thing was really quite beautiful. It took her about a week post-decision to die peacefully, in her own bed, in her own house, surrounded by all of her children and grandchildren.

And then there was another beautiful memorial service a few weeks afterwards. Sharing this story, since it's been mentioned in this thread. Not eating or drinking, combined with a DNR, means you don't need to live in an assisted-suicide state, or rely on the participation of another person, to die on your own terms.

My mother was very moved by the whole thing. Even though she is in a class A CCRC, I think she may go this route if there is any significant mental decline or dementia, or the Parkinson's gets to a point where she can no longer do any of the things that she most enjoys doing. She is no where near that stage yet, and may never be, since slowly-progressing Parkinson's doesn't really "speed up."

 

[VacationForever]

We think alike. I’m ok with demise at sea. I’d rather walk on out and pretend I can swim to the horizon. If I can feed a shark that would otherwise attack someone else, seems like a good trade.

I think I would prefer a lethal dose of morphine. I am too afraid of heights and cold water to be able to do it on my own.

 

[rapmarks]

Regarding the posts about rolling wheelchair over cliff
A fellow in our subdivision, in a wheelchair since a stroke, wheeled himself across the street to community pool and to deep end and wheeled himself right in. Strapped himself in first. Poor guy who was on pool trying to save him. A few days before Christmas.

 

[clifffaith]

I think I mentioned on a different thread that 50 residents went on a Mexican cruise, and 49 came back. A man with Parkinson’s jumped from the ship during the night. Body was actually found about two weeks later.

 

[b2bailey]

Our family had a close friend that apparently, during the height of COVID, experienced significant mental decline. She decided, in close consultation with her children, to stop eating and drinking when she was still clear enough of mind to do so--she was in her late 70s. They shared it during a worship service, and then she actually had the blessing of hearing others share their love and memories with her--when she was still alive to hear them. How many of us wish we could be at our own memorial? She kinda was.

Afterwards, even though she had not seen me in over five years, she came up to me, gave me a big hug, and then proceeded to ask about my DD (who was not with us, but whom she had seen with my mother numerous times in more recent years.) She declared that she had been so looking forward to eating one of my mother's muffins (which she brings with her to Meeting,) and then remembered that she wasn't supposed to be eating or drinking! She told me this with a huge laugh and smile on her face. The whole thing was really quite beautiful. It took her about a week post-decision to die peacefully, in her own bed, in her own house, surrounded by all of her children and grandchildren.

And then there was another beautiful memorial service a few weeks afterwards. Sharing this story, since it's been mentioned in this thread. Not eating or drinking, combined with a DNR, means you don't need to live in an assisted-suicide state, or rely on the participation of another person, to die on your own terms.

My mother was very moved by the whole thing. Even though she is in a class A CCRC, I think she may go this route if there is any significant mental decline or dementia, or the Parkinson's gets to a point where she can no longer do any of the things that she most enjoys doing. She is no where near that stage yet, and may never be, since slowly-progressing Parkinson's doesn't really "speed up."

I've heard of this 'method' -- it would take a very strong person to be successful.

 

[rapmarks]

Our family had a close friend that apparently, during the height of COVID, experienced significant mental decline. She decided, in close consultation with her children, to stop eating and drinking when she was still clear enough of mind to do so--she was in her late 70s. They shared it during a worship service, and then she actually had the blessing of hearing others share their love and memories with her--when she was still alive to hear them. How many of us wish we could be at our own memorial? She kinda was.

Afterwards, even though she had not seen me in over five years, she came up to me, gave me a big hug, and then proceeded to ask about my DD (who was not with us, but whom she had seen with my mother numerous times in more recent years.) She declared that she had been so looking forward to eating one of my mother's muffins (which she brings with her to Meeting,) and then remembered that she wasn't supposed to be eating or drinking! She told me this with a huge laugh and smile on her face. The whole thing was really quite beautiful. It took her about a week post-decision to die peacefully, in her own bed, in her own house, surrounded by all of her children and grandchildren.

And then there was another beautiful memorial service a few weeks afterwards. Sharing this story, since it's been mentioned in this thread. Not eating or drinking, combined with a DNR, means you don't need to live in an assisted-suicide state, or rely on the participation of another person, to die on your own terms.

My mother was very moved by the whole thing. Even though she is in a class A CCRC, I think she may go this route if there is any significant mental decline or dementia, or the Parkinson's gets to a point where she can no longer do any of the things that she most enjoys doing. She is no where near that stage yet, and may never be, since slowly-progressing Parkinson's doesn't really "speed up."

I think it would take a lot longer than a week to die this way and it is not easy. I was on clear liquids only for four weeks and it was bad but I could barely swallow during treatments for mouth cancer. I went for almost four months with daily IV and managed to get down one bottle of protein drink a day. It was a very bad time. This is all the result of cancer in mouth, throat, tongue , sinus, parotid

 

[bizaro86]

I think it would take a lot longer than a week to die this way and it is not easy. I was on clear liquids only for four weeks and it was bad but I could barely swallow during treatments for mouth cancer. I went for almost four months with daily IV and managed to get down one bottle of protein drink a day. It was a very bad time. This is all the result of cancer in mouth, throat, tongue , sinus, parotid

I think dying of thirst would be a pretty awful way to go, but it is much, much faster than dying of hunger. I was also on IV nutrition for a month once due to a health issue and even that was not a lot of fun.

 

[WinniWoman]

We think alike. I’m ok with demise at sea. I’d rather walk on out and pretend I can swim to the horizon. If I can feed a shark that would otherwise attack someone else, seems like a good trade.

For me drowning would be one of the worst deaths possible!

 

[AnnaS]

This happened a few years ago here. An 84 year old man stepped into a chair to lift himself over a second floor railing at the mall. Not a good place for everyone - including children to witness . Perhaps morphine or some injection.......sleep and go peacefully? It shouldn't have to be so drastic/painful.

Man, 84, leaps to his death from Staten Island Mall’s second floor

An 84-year-old man stepped onto a chair to lift himself over a second floor railing at the Staten Island mall Tuesday, and then leaped to his death, officials said. The man, whose name was not imme…

www.nydailynews.com

(the pop up ads are annoying).

 

[geekette]

I think I would prefer a lethal dose of morphine. I am too afraid of heights and cold water to be able to do it on my own.

Heights? No way. I joke that I’d take up extreme sports that I was always too chicken to try, but I still don’t think I’d be able to get over fear to sky dive or hang glide.

Morphine sounds like a plan, just not sure how to procure it.

 

[VacationForever]

Heights? No way. I joke that I’d take up extreme sports that I was always too chicken to try, but I still don’t think I’d be able to get over fear to sky dive or hang glide.

Morphine sounds like a plan, just not sure how to procure it.

Yep, no zipline, sky dive or hang glide for me. I cannot even jump into the pool from the side. I cannot do it. I have to lower myself into the water.

Morphine is not that "difficult" to procure once you reach the hospice stage. The problem is that you need to be certified to have no more than 6 months to live, then the RN will prescribe morphine to be administered, usually by a family member or by the RN. But that morphine is pre-dosed and left in the fridge of the home. So, if I am at that stage, I can get a lethal dose by taking several of the pre-dosed morphine.