Dropping by

[Talent312]

Give them chores to do that should do it.

I like that...
-- I was just about to do my laundry. Come help me sort.
-- I just started windexing the windows. Here's a towel. I'll spray; you wipe.
-- I'd make us a snack, but the kitchen's a mess. Oh, I have an idea...

 

[Tia]

Interesting posts. I actually like having friends drop by. ....
Liz

Me too , was surprise to read otherwise. Maybe it's my Minnesota upbringing.

 

[heathpack]

PS - many many years ago, before people were so worried about kids and weirdos, little kids were free to wander our neighborhood. One little boy was quite taken with DH who is great with kids. The little boy rang the bell one day and asked me if "my daddy" could come out and play . On Valentine's day, two little girls rang the bell and shyly handed DH (not me) handmade cards. I don't think we had ever met the parents or even knew their names - can't imagine that happening now, but in both cases we were delighted with the adorable friendly drop-ins!

Ha, ha, ha. This reminds me of these two boys who stopped by our house while we were moving in a few years ago. They were brothers, maybe 11 and 12 years old. They told us they had seen the contractor and crew going in and out of the house recently from what they could see walking by, the place looked great (!). Could they take a look at the work?

We were taken aback by such young boys wanting to see the renovation, and we gave them a little tour. They innocently proceeded to complement all of our repairs to the damage that they had previously done- the house had been an empty foreclosure and the neighborhood boys had broken in repeatedly, vandalizing the house. They explained the damage to the garage side door- one of them had locked the other in the garage as a prank and he panicked and tried to break out the side door (it was really, really dark and really really scary!). They insisted we had changed the location of a closet (we had not). We were quite taken with these two characters and explained to them the kind of trouble they could get into for that type of thing. They seem unfazed by our admonishment- not smart-alecky or rude, just very clueless. On their way out the door, they said, "We LOVE what you've done with the floors!"

They are a funny pair, they always wave if we see them riding their bikes by, if we are working out front in the garden, they are sure to come by for a little chat.

H

 

[Rose Pink]

Give them chores to do that should do it.

I like that...
-- I was just about to do my laundry. Come help me sort.
-- I just started windexing the windows. Here's a towel. I'll spray; you wipe.
-- I'd make us a snack, but the kitchen's a mess. Oh, I have an idea...

Yup. Thinking the same thing. Maybe you can get some free labor out of this. Of course, it doesn't help if you are trying to relax with a book or a favorite movie. In that case, I think I'd go with a do not disturb sign on the door.

 

[BevL]

Interesting. I too work at home and have gone through spells with people who think I don't have a "real" job.

My response? "I'm sorry but I haven't scheduled any time off from work today," or, "I've scheduled today to be my chores and errands day and I really have to keep at them." Followed up with, "If you give me some advance notice next time, hopefully we can get together."

I'm honest and if it's simply a down time day for me, I don't "make up" something to do. "Sorry but I've been working extremely hard and I really just need some personal time today." And again with, "Give me some advance notice next time and hopefully we can get together."

I had one person who told me they thought I was rude and she never called me again, which actually worked out okay, frankly. And I never "drop in" on people. Even if I'm running something over to my mom and dad's and I know they're home, I call first. Same with my kids although they do show up at our place unannounced. I won't just not answer the door although we live in a condo and I could pretty easily do that.

 

[Rose Pink]

Ha, ha, ha. This reminds me of these two boys who stopped by our house while we were moving in a few years ago. They were brothers, maybe 11 and 12 years old. They told us they had seen the contractor and crew going in and out of the house recently from what they could see walking by, the place looked great (!). Could they take a look at the work?

We were taken aback by such young boys wanting to see the renovation, and we gave them a little tour. They innocently proceeded to complement all of our repairs to the damage that they had previously done- the house had been an empty foreclosure and the neighborhood boys had broken in repeatedly, vandalizing the house. They explained the damage to the garage side door- one of them had locked the other in the garage as a prank and he panicked and tried to break out the side door (it was really, really dark and really really scary!). They insisted we had changed the location of a closet (we had not). We were quite taken with these two characters and explained to them the kind of trouble they could get into for that type of thing. They seem unfazed by our admonishment- not smart-alecky or rude, just very clueless. On their way out the door, they said, "We LOVE what you've done with the floors!"

They are a funny pair, they always wave if we see them riding their bikes by, if we are working out front in the garden, they are sure to come by for a little chat.

H

I thought you were going to say they robbed you after being giving the grand tour. So happy that was not the case. Whew! (Now I am wondering why I had such negative, paranoid thoughts. Is it just me? Do I need therapy? )

 

[Talent312]

[Chores]... it doesn't help if you are trying to relax with a book or a favorite movie...

Sit 'em on the couch and turn the TV to a fishing or pro-bowling show.
Pick up the newspaper and offer them the lifestyle section.

 

[VivianLynne]

Ha, ha, ha. This reminds me of these two boys who stopped by our house while we were moving in a few years ago. They were brothers, maybe 11 and 12 years old. They told us they had seen the contractor and crew going in and out of the house recently from what they could see walking by, the place looked great (!). Could they take a look at the work?

We were taken aback by such young boys wanting to see the renovation, and we gave them a little tour. They innocently proceeded to complement all of our repairs to the damage that they had previously done- the house had been an empty foreclosure and the neighborhood boys had broken in repeatedly, vandalizing the house. They explained the damage to the garage side door- one of them had locked the other in the garage as a prank and he panicked and tried to break out the side door (it was really, really dark and really really scary!). They insisted we had changed the location of a closet (we had not). We were quite taken with these two characters and explained to them the kind of trouble they could get into for that type of thing. They seem unfazed by our admonishment- not smart-alecky or rude, just very clueless. On their way out the door, they said, "We LOVE what you've done with the floors!"

They are a funny pair, they always wave if we see them riding their bikes by, if we are working out front in the garden, they are sure to come by for a little chat.

H

I have spent almost 3 solid weeks going thru the stress of teenagers tearing my vacation home into rubble....this will be a problem for the next 8-12+ months in my life. I hope my neighborhood kids don't wave to me. But at their age (11,12) in PA, their parents' homeowners insurance would cover my damages - as children of that age lack the capacity to understand that they did wrong. My neighborhood high school Honor Roll vandals will most likely be tried as adults and become felons due to the level of damage.

 

[pjrose]

Interesting posts. I actually like having friends drop by. It might interrupt something, but then, friends are important to me and I like the idea of it being the way it was when I was a kid and my mom's friends dropped by for coffee. I do have a friend I drop in on to say hi if I am walking by her house. I think I will check to make sure that is really OK with her and that she feels comfortable telling me she is busy. I feel rude walking by and NOT stopping to say hi.
Liz

Me too , was surprise to read otherwise. Maybe it's my Minnesota upbringing.

Me too, usually, but if people don't, there are sure a lot of good ideas posted above.

 

[easyrider]

There are people that feel they can drop by unanounced at our place. We enjoy their company. They can make themselves at home even if were gone. They know the code to get in. It is unusual but we have had people cooking a meal or using the hot tub while were out. Its a mutual thing because we have done the same. Any more, 99% of the time people call as everyone has a phone these days and we do the same.

On the other hand it is very annoying to have others who know they are not welcome to drop in stop by even if they call.

 

[CarolF]

It is unusual but we have had people cooking a meal or using the hot tub while were out.

I get home from work to find the neighbourhood using our swimming pool on hot days. Suits me fine, I'm glad that it gives enjoyment to others. They always leave when I get home saying "we'll go now, you must be tired and need some space ".

 

[pjrose]

I get home from work to find the neighbourhood using our swimming pool on hot days. Suits me fine, I'm glad that it gives enjoyment to others. They always leave when I get home saying "we'll go now, you must be tired and need some space ".

I admire your friendly neighborhood, and hate to bring up something potentially negative, but be really really careful about your potential liability and liability insurance, just in case there's an accident in your pool.

 

[MuranoJo]

Carol, you are a very generous person. I have to admit I may not be as generous as to the clean-up, and--more importantly--the liability issues as PJ has pointed out. (Maybe this isn't a concern in Australia, but I can't imagine it wouldn't be.)

 

[geekette]

Not a fan of drop-ins, do not do it myself.

I think it's mostly that I'm a private person and there are times for Me and times for Company. When it's time for Company I will generally clean the place up and wear clothing that matches, have refreshments, etc. When it is time for me, I may have the house torn apart and wearing "work clothes" which are not even appropriate for a run to the HW store. good friends, I don't care, really, but hate to be derailed when I am on a roll. and when I get on a roll, sometimes the house has to look much worse before it looks much better. but they only see the in-between, which is embarrassing.

It's easy for me to not answer the door. Same with phone calls - sometimes it's not convenient to be interrupted and I do not feel an obligation to answer the phone just because it rings. Ditto doorbell.

 

[CarolF]

I admire your friendly neighborhood, and hate to bring up something potentially negative, but be really really careful about your potential liability and liability insurance, just in case there's an accident in your pool.

Carol, you are a very generous person. I have to admit I may not be as generous as to the clean-up, and--more importantly--the liability issues as PJ has pointed out. (Maybe this isn't a concern in Australia, but I can't imagine it wouldn't be.)

It started 20 years ago and haven't had a problem yet. No-one leaves any mess either which is truly amazing, in fact, I often can't tell when people have been here. Guess I've just got a bit lazy and need to follow up any legal issues.

 

[Timeshare Von]

<<SNIPPING>>>

It's easy for me to not answer the door. Same with phone calls - sometimes it's not convenient to be interrupted and I do not feel an obligation to answer the phone just because it rings. Ditto doorbell.

Yep - me too. I/we do not answer the phone after 5:00p because that is our family time (dinner and evening TV).

 

[BevL]

Love the comment about the phone. I have a running battle with my parents because if they phone and I'm working or it's just not convenient, I will let it go to voicemail, check right away that it's not an emergency and then call when it's a better time. I see my parents almost every day, love them dearly but my mother loves talking on the phone and I hate it.

They get very upset. I have told them more than once that they should make sure they hang up before they start with the "They're screening their calls" comments - caught dad several times on that one - LOL. Telling them that the phone is there for my convenience, not for the convenience of others who may feel a sudden urge to interrupt what I"m doing doesn't seem to register.

 

[laura1957]

family and CLOSE friends are welcome anytime, and the only times they call is on weekends - just to check to see if we are home. Many times when we go shopping we come home to someone watching TV, using my computer or the playstation Or just a note to let us know they were there... and ate whatever leftovers they could find

It is just my husband and I in the house now, and all of the kids are grown. I have a nicer swingset and bigger fenced backyard, so it is not unusual for either his son or my daughter to bring the kids by to play and wait for us. If we are going to be gone all day we lock the door - if we are shopping locally the door isnt even locked We live in a very small town, near the main rd.

My mother would be insulted if I called and asked if it was okay to stop by - I usually do call to see if she is home and let her know I am coming by. (she lives outside of town, not anywhere anyone would be just passing by) If I am out anyway, I just swing by and let myself in if she isnt home - very rarely is her door locked either!! She has 3 grown children and 3 grown grandkids in the area and someone is ALWAYS stopping by. It is also not too unusual for either one of my 2 brothers (1 in NY, 1 in PA) to just stop by unannounced

 

[geekette]

pattern emerging?

Seems that most ok with having drop-ins/being a drop-in have such situations based on nearby family, either when growing up or now. We didn't have family within a few hours' drive; it just didn't happen.

As a grown adult, I refuse to live in "a hangout", with people showing up whenever. Didn't like it in my 20s and got out of having a roommate as soon as I could.

That said, when I invite people over, it's a different matter, and I enjoy my guests. I do entertain frequently, sometimes on spur of the moment, extremely casual, etc. Otherwise, if you wanna see me, call or email, I'll make the time if I can (and want to see the person :ignore: )

 

[Elli]

Here is another one that doesn't like drop-ins. I don't do it, and expect my friends and neighbours not to do it either, but to phone first.