Divorce and timeshares---what do I need to know?

[turkel]

I am very sorry. Divorce sucks. I know from personal experience. If you can calmly agree on the separation of assets great. If one party is bitter stand by divorce can be ugly and expensive even in a 50/50 state like California where I live.
My thoughts are with you.
I used LT transfers to change ownership on our timeshare. But it took me years to even start the process. It also took me years to complete the QUADRO. I was too shell shocked and attorney poor after my divorce too complete these final steps. My advice is don’t do what I did. Follow through until all necessary steps are done. Then pick your self up and find a new life that makes you happy. Time may not heal all wounds but you can CHOOSE to be happy.

I wish you the best during this difficult time.

 

[Talent312]

There's no two ways about it: Divorce sucks. Even if you know it's for the best, it can still feel like you're being kicked to the curb. DW + I have been divorced from our first spouses for 25-30 years, yet we still have baggage from the experience. For now, just try to deal with the situation calmly and rationally (difficult as that may be).

However, it is healthy to let out latent anger (safely). You may find it helpful to connect with others in a community support group which are often sponsored by churches. I found one a Catholic church that was non-religious.

Speaking of anger: I told my ex that she was going to die alone and afraid becuz her friends and family would find out who she really was. I also said that she was a thief who had stolen 18 years of my life.

On-Topic: Lawyers get rich when couples fight over stuff that, overall, has minor value. Try to reach a property settlement yourselves, if he's being reasonable. Compile a fair list of what you want and willing to give up. See if he will sign off on that. It will save you a ton in legal fees. By the time of my divorce hearing, we had sold the house and there was no other joint property left to divide.

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[Timeshare Von]

It's unfortunate to go through a divorce, especially if you really don't want to end your marriage and if you feel there is some way to reconcile.

I don't have any thing specific to say about the timeshare; but will comment regarding lawyers. When I went through divorce after 8 years, we had a small amount of assets to be divided. I felt we could do it pro se, and I'm glad we did . . . without lawyers eating up what little we had in cash, cars, etc. (We didn't have kids or a house so that kept it simple for us too.)

I wish you the best and hope you find happiness down the road after the shock settles.

 

[bogey21]

It also took me years to complete the QUADRO.

In my case the QUADRO was the most important document in my Divorce portfolio. I focused on and fought over every word in mine and it was well worth it. In my case how the minute details in my Pension were handled was all important and have impacted me for the last 20 years. I have a feeling that most leave it up to their lawyer which I think is a big mistake...

George

 

[Patri]

Otherwise get the absolute best lawyer you can and make your Husband pay his fee...

Why should the husband pay? The man is not always the bad guy. In the long run maybe this divorce is really the best course of action.

 

[bogey21]

Why should the husband pay? The man is not always the bad guy.

I made the assumption, maybe incorrectly, that OP doesn't have income of her own. In that case or if her income is insignificant, I believe the husband should pay for her lawyer...

George

 

[missyrcrews]

I made the assumption, maybe incorrectly, that OP doesn't have income of her own. In that case or if her income is insignificant, I believe the husband should pay for her lawyer...

George

George, I do have my own income, and would think that I would pay my own lawyer. My husband does make significantly more than I do. But I work 2 jobs...one full time, and one part time. I did this so we didn't have to worry about money. My salaries paid for our extras.

I'm hoping that we can mend fences and reconcile. That would really be best for my family. But time tells all stories. Will have to see how this one plays out.

 

[WinniWoman]

George, I do have my own income, and would think that I would pay my own lawyer. My husband does make significantly more than I do. But I work 2 jobs...one full time, and one part time. I did this so we didn't have to worry about money. My salaries paid for our extras.

I'm hoping that we can mend fences and reconcile. That would really be best for my family. But time tells all stories. Will have to see how this one plays out.

Hang in there. Thinking about you and hoping you are doing ok.

 

[jonmaiman]

Wishing you a good outcome: reconciliation or amicable divorce whichever you mutually determine is best! Work through it one day at a time.

--Jon

 

[Sugarcubesea]

Sending love hugs and prayers

 

[VacationForever]

I made the assumption, maybe incorrectly, that OP doesn't have income of her own. In that case or if her income is insignificant, I believe the husband should pay for her lawyer...

George

Not a good assumption. I made significantly more than my ex-husband and he jokingly threatened to ask for spousal support.

 

[rapmarks]

Not a good assumption. I made significantly more than my ex-husband and he jokingly threatened to ask for spousal support.

My daughter made way more than the husband she tried to divorce, yet every one would say does she have a job? Yes, a very good, very skilled job and supported her three little boys by herself for years. kind of a demeaning question

 

[sun starved Gayle]

Best wishes to you for the positive outcome you want. Sending you a virtual hug from across the country.

 

[Luanne]

I'm sorry you are going through this. When first husband and I divorced I got the timeshare. He quit claimed it to me.

 

[geekette]

Not a good assumption. I made significantly more than my ex-husband and he jokingly threatened to ask for spousal support.

Yep. I made 3 times what my husband did, I had to pay him off. Totally worth it.

 

[geekette]

My daughter made way more than the husband she tried to divorce, yet every one would say does she have a job? Yes, a very good, very skilled job and supported her three little boys by herself for years. kind of a demeaning question

Wow, Yes. Probably I would give them blank stare and say nothing. Go ahead and assume that I am a failed typist.

 

[geekette]

I made the assumption, maybe incorrectly, that OP doesn't have income of her own. In that case or if her income is insignificant, I believe the husband should pay for her lawyer...

George

If you were thinking of middle aged women decades ago, you might have been correct. In this day and age, women working is normal and expected. SAHMs are the exception, haven't been the norm for a long time. My mother is 87, the last income of her own was in the 50s, where she worked for about 2 years before marrying in 58 and that was the last paycheck with her name on it.

Ain't mad at cha! Not sure the last time you worked in an office, you've been retired a while. Sadly, the term "lady boss" is still around, like they can't just be The Boss.

 

[bogey21]

I guess the world has passed me by. My mistake was focusing on my own situation. My ex, who was 20 years younger than me, stayed at home with our 3 kids as my job required extensive travel. When we divorced after 20 years of marriage I paid for her lawyer and represented myself. During the negotiations her lawyer huffed up and demanded that I give her $3,500 per month for the rest of her life. I stared her in the face and said "No way. It will be $4,000 until I die and 50% of my Pension (which will be greater than $4,000) after I die". To date she has received almost 1 million dollars and with her life expectancy it will probably end up between 2 and 3 million dollars and I don't begrudge her one penny of it. My reasoning was that my career would not have been as successful and our kids would not turned out as well as they did without her her holding down the fort at home. The end result of this tale is that my ex is happily remarried, I get along extremely well with both her and her husband, and most importantly our kids were never put in the position of having to choose between us...

George

 

[VacationForever]

I guess the world has passed me by. My mistake was focusing on my own situation. My ex, who was 20 years younger than me, stayed at home with our 3 kids as my job required extensive travel. When we divorced after 20 years of marriage I paid for her lawyer and represented myself. During the negotiations her lawyer huffed up and demanded that I give her $3,500 per month for the rest of her life. I stared her in the face and said "No way. It will be $4,000 until I die and 50% of my Pension (which will be greater than $4,000) after I die". To date she has received almost 1 million dollars and with her life expectancy it will probably end up between 2 and 3 million dollars and I don't begrudge her one penny of it. My reasoning was that my career would not have been as successful and our kids would not turned out as well as they did without her her holding down the fort at home. The end result of this tale is that my ex is happily remarried, I get along extremely well with both her and her husband, and most importantly our kids were never put in the position of having to choose between us...

George

Doesn't spousal support end when the recipient remarries?

 

[dioxide45]

Doesn't spousal support end when the recipient remarries?

I would think it doesn't have to if you don't want it to.

 

[Brett]

I guess the world has passed me by. My mistake was focusing on my own situation. My ex, who was 20 years younger than me, stayed at home with our 3 kids as my job required extensive travel. When we divorced after 20 years of marriage I paid for her lawyer and represented myself. During the negotiations her lawyer huffed up and demanded that I give her $3,500 per month for the rest of her life. I stared her in the face and said "No way. It will be $4,000 until I die and 50% of my Pension (which will be greater than $4,000) after I die". To date she has received almost 1 million dollars and with her life expectancy it will probably end up between 2 and 3 million dollars and I don't begrudge her one penny of it. My reasoning was that my career would not have been as successful and our kids would not turned out as well as they did without her her holding down the fort at home. The end result of this tale is that my ex is happily remarried, I get along extremely well with both her and her husband, and most importantly our kids were never put in the position of having to choose between us...

George

so your ex wife currently gets 1/2 your pension and $4k a month and she is working and married to someone employed ?

 

[bogey21]

Doesn't spousal support end when the recipient remarries?

I didn't consider it spousal support when I negotiated my Divorce Decree, Property Settlement and QUADRO. My perspective was that we were a team when we were married and my ex had earned her fair share of what we had accumulated (including my Pension) whether she or I remarried or not. One of the reasons I didn't hire a lawyer and represented myself during the divorce is that I was afraid that any lawyer I hired would be overly programmed to winning and would screw things up. I wasn't interested in winning. What I wanted was a fair resolution for both of us which I think we achieved. The biggest problem I had was convincing her lawyer that our objective should be fairness, not winning...

George

 

[bogey21]

So your ex wife currently gets 1/2 your pension and $4k a month and she is working and married to someone employed ?

Yes and no. She gets $4,000 per month until I die after which the $4,000 stops and is replaced by 50% of my Pension which will be around $5,000. Quite frankly I don't consider it any of my business if her new husband is employed or not. You didn't ask but it also doesn't bother me that within weeks of our divorce my ex signed on as a Flight Attendant with American Airlines and is still flying today. That too is none of my business...

George

 

[Cornell]

If you were thinking of middle aged women decades ago, you might have been correct. In this day and age, women working is normal and expected. SAHMs are the exception, haven't been the norm for a long time. My mother is 87, the last income of her own was in the 50s, where she worked for about 2 years before marrying in 58 and that was the last paycheck with her name on it.

Ain't mad at cha! Not sure the last time you worked in an office, you've been retired a while. Sadly, the term "lady boss" is still around, like they can't just be The Boss.

"Lady Boss" LOL. I hate this kind of thing. I follow a Twitter account called "Man who has it all" and it's a parody account with this goal: "Highlighting the sexism, stereotypes and bias women experience everyday by imagining a world where men are treated in the same way society treats women". It's absolutely hilarious. It "flips" the typical posts / Tweets that are geared at women towards men.

Example -- mocking t-shirts that would normally say "female engineer".

 

[Rolltydr]

Yes and no. She gets $4,000 per month until I die after which the $4,000 stops and is replaced by 50% of my Pension which will be around $5,000. Quite frankly I don't consider it any of my business if her new husband is employed or not. You didn't ask but it also doesn't bother me that within weeks of our divorce my ex signed on as a Flight Attendant with American Airlines and is still flying today. That too is none of my business...

George

You have a great attitude about it and everyone seems to be happy. That should be the result everyone shoots for. Of course, it still takes 2 to for that to work, also!


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