Divorce and timeshares---what do I need to know?

[missyrcrews]

So, after I got home from NH on Sunday, my husband asked me for a divorce. Not because I went on vacation without him...this has been brewing for some time. I am fairly certain he will not want our timeshare weeks. In the event I get to keep them, what do I need to know? Change the deed...probably Cold Spring can help with guidance for that, since their general manager is a real estate person. Change the RCI/II memberships to just my name (II is already.) And then start budgeting to be able to pay the MFs. I really want to keep them, because it is the most cost-effective way I've found to vacation and it is a "familiar" touch stone thing for my kiddos.

This has hit like a ton of bricks, and is NOT something I want, so I'm probably forgetting ten zillion things. Truly, these weeks are a small detail. But sometimes if you can get the small details ironed out, the bigger ones start to look not so big.

All that said, on a completely different note, I'd appreciate prayers and kind thoughts as we navigate the months ahead.

 

[bluehende]

Sending hugs. Remember to take care of yourself. The timeshare stuff can wait a little while.

 

[Tank]

God bless your family !

 

[VacationForever]

I am sorry. You both need to figure out if it is going to be a more straightforward divorce where you both agree on division of property, custody of children, alimony and child support if applicable. Otherwise it is best to go with a mediated divorce where each side retains a lawyer to iron out the details. You may want to go through a checklist for yourself on financial matters as well and to make sure details make it into the marital settlement agreement. I had mentioned prior that I had about half a million dollars in capital losses and when we divorced, it was not spelled out who got to carry the loss. Without it being documented, our CPA simply split the losses down the middle which essentially meant that my ex-husband received a quarter million dollars in tax deduction which should have been mine.

Despite it all, I still carry alots of good memories from the union but life has to move forward.

Lots of hugs.

 

[AnnieBets]

Prayers for you and your family.

 

[dioxide45]

Timeshare wise, an important thing is to make sure everything is re-deeded accordingly at divorce settlement. There was a post here not long ago where someone got divorced and received the timeshares in the settlement, but the spouse did not quit claim the deeds over and after many years have passed he now refuses to do so in order for them to be sold.

 

[bogey21]

Your TS will be one tiny part of the Property Settlement which will be negotiated as part of your Divorce. First and foremost you should take the time to find and hire the best Divorce attorney you can find. This is the most important thing you can do. You need someone ultra competent to handle your side of the divorce. You need to exit your Marriage as financially stable as possible. Try to make sure your Husband pays for your attorney. Understand that I am not an attorney but have been successfully through this twice so I do have some experience in the area...

George

 

[AnnaS]

Sending hugs and prayers that all goes smooth.

 

[WVBaker]

Sometimes divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.

And George...
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to just find a woman and give her a house.

 

[Passepartout]

Since my wife is a family law practitioner, I can second the advice to get good- no, GREAT representation. My heart goes out to you as I was the one hit with an unexpected divorce, but can tell you one thing for sure: There IS life after divorce. It will be tough, but you are tougher and you will come out strong.

Big TUG {{{{HUGS}}}} to you!

Jim

 

[geekette]

I'm so sorry. This is truly one of life's hard blows to absorb. In time, it will be easier. It may feel like your world just blew apart but you have it within you to build a new life.

We did DIY divorce and in that document, it was agreed that I would keep, control and pay for the timeshares. We didn't want to go to expense of deed changes (could be 500 or more each). Our divorce was amicable, he could call me up to ask for a vacation and I'd give it to him. When I want to sell, I know he'll meet to sign off his part.

If you are going to be no-contact, you would want to change title but that can get pricey. You might want him to "buy you out" on that standpoint. It could be worth it to him to not have them out there somewhere waiting for your nonpayment to come haunt him. I would in fact use that as leverage. "If something happens and I can't pay maint fees, they will try to extract them from you..."

Start by calling management, find out cost, find out process, get papers sent to you.

Good luck to you. I swear, it gets easier. Until then, here's a hug from me to you...

 

[geekette]

While I know that everyone is saying get a lawyer, I would say, only get a lawyer if you're ok with a pile of marital assets headed to them. If it's amicable, avoid lawyers if you can. We didn't need one, we worked everything out, and did not have to shell out thousands or run every conversation through outside parties. Once you have counsel, you're not supposed to speak to each other, and things can get very acrimonious depending on how your lawyers behave. It quits being the two of you and starts being the two of them in a potentially very ugly fight.

That said, if he has lawyered, you almost have to. It's extremely pricey, even for simple divorces.

My ex's best friend told him to get a lawyer immediately! When he told me that, I said, "Is Rick going to shell out the thousands of dollars or are you? Because I'm not."

Do what's right for you, try to get through this in such a way as to have no regrets.

 

[WinniWoman]

All I can say right now is I am shocked and I am so very sorry. Wow....Prayers and hugs for you and the kids.

 

[Passepartout]

The best of all outcomes would be if this can be an 'amicable' divorce. They can be done cheaply and without deep and complicated hard-fought custody and property battles. There are lawyers who will coach the parties who then appear in the court to have the judge rule it final. In order for it to work, both parties need to com to grips that the dissolution is inevitable and the division of assets and parenting of the minor children is the primary concern. Fairness- not retribution is the order of the day.

Good Luck!

 

[klpca]

You have received excellent advice. You know your situation and if things will go amicably or if it will be a battle. If the latter, then yes, you need to get a great lawyer now before he talks to all of the good ones and prevents them from being able to represent you.

So sorry that you and your kids are going through this. Sometime life just sucks.

 

[geist1223]

I have no idea what timeshares you own or if they have any true value. It does not matter what you paid for the timeshare. Many timeshares have little to no value. Check out resell market such as here on TUG in the Market Place and on EBAY. You will want to get an accurate value for when it comes time to divide up the marital assets. If you end of keeping the timeshares I would get a Quit Claim Deed from your soon to be ex-spouse and go through the hassle and expense to get everything titled in only your name. Who knows how cooperate your soon to be ex--spouse will be down the line.

 

[bogey21]

Ignore. I didn't mean to do this...

 

[b2bailey]

A ton of bricks -- can't say it any better. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. Timeshares can be difficult. I say don't mix the two, if you can help it. That being said, if they land on his side of the ledger show retail purchase price; if your side, resale value -- probably $1.

I hope you can find peace in the midst of the struggle.

 

[bogey21]

Only you know your situation. You have a child and a life to live. Your Divorce Decree and Property Settlement is your one chance to get things right. If you feel competent to handle things yourself, go for it. Otherwise get the absolute best lawyer you can and make your Husband pay his fee...

George

 

[bogey21]

Ignore. Another mistake...

 

[SteelerGal]

(((Hugs))).

 

[Fredflintstone]

So, after I got home from NH on Sunday, my husband asked me for a divorce. Not because I went on vacation without him...this has been brewing for some time. I am fairly certain he will not want our timeshare weeks. In the event I get to keep them, what do I need to know? Change the deed...probably Cold Spring can help with guidance for that, since their general manager is a real estate person. Change the RCI/II memberships to just my name (II is already.) And then start budgeting to be able to pay the MFs. I really want to keep them, because it is the most cost-effective way I've found to vacation and it is a "familiar" touch stone thing for my kiddos.

This has hit like a ton of bricks, and is NOT something I want, so I'm probably forgetting ten zillion things. Truly, these weeks are a small detail. But sometimes if you can get the small details ironed out, the bigger ones start to look not so big.

All that said, on a completely different note, I'd appreciate prayers and kind thoughts as we navigate the months ahead.

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

I went through a divorce 4 years ago. On top of getting a good divorce lawyer, here is my 2 cents.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and fight hard in the big things. Spending tons in lawyer time for small personal items is just a waste of money.

Focus on the cash, house, pensions, (child support) and expensive cars. Pick your battles.

God bless you.

I know how it feels. I can tell you though that once it’s over, the new life you can be better than ever. I know, it ended up best in my case.


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[goaliedave]

Thoughts and prayers. I'm a pretty good cook if you need someone to share the ts

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[ilene13]

Just remember a good divorce lawyer will give you advice. If you decide not to use a lawyer and go through arbitration, an arbitrator cannot give you any advice.

 

[am1]

A ton of bricks -- can't say it any better. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. Timeshares can be difficult. I say don't mix the two, if you can help it. That being said, if they land on his side of the ledger show retail purchase price; if your side, resale value -- probably $1.

I hope you can find peace in the midst of the struggle.

Why? That’s just dirty pool and a good way to rack up lawyers fees. Hopefully they are able to work out the best outcome for everyone other then the lawyers.