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Asking for prayers

Liz Wolf-Spada

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My dad, who lived a great life, is dying, in Hospice care. He is 89 and dying from Parkinson's. This is not a tragedy at all, but it's affecting me deeply. My mom passed away 5 years ago. I haven't been feeling well anyway, and have to teach daily, so prayers for my health and strength and peace of mind for all would be so appreciated.
Thank you,
Liz
 

ricoba

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I just said a prayer for you Liz.

I am only beginning to understand how difficult this subject is. Both my parents are living in their early 80's and my mother-in-law is mid 80's. My parents are in reasonably good health, but my mother-in-law is in the early to mid stages of Alzheimer's.

We just did a quick trip up to Seattle area, just to see all of them. I am glad we did, I am not sure how long they will be with us, especially my mother-in-law.

May you experience peace.
 

Rose Pink

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Life's transitions can be difficult. My prayers are with you, Liz.
 

AwayWeGo

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[triennial - points]
God Bless You.

The inevitability of death does not diminish its sadness when it takes someone close to us.

The poignancy of life is in knowing eventually it will break your heart.

Through it all, I remain ever grateful for the precious gift of time.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​
 

rickandcindy23

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Liz, I will pray for you too.

Alan, well said, and so very true.
 

susieq

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Liz,

My prayers are with you. You will get through this, believe me. I know how difficult it is. Twenty years ago, Thanksgiving time, my MIL, (a widow for many years), was rushed to the ER with what we thought was a heart attack. Turned out, that one was only Angina. The same week my Mother was admitted to the ER with what was thought to be a Gall Bladder attack. After a week of tests to rule out anything else, surgery was scheduled. Meantime, my Father who had battled Cancer for many years, (he'd be declared in remission, then 5 years later it showed up somewhere else), had gone in for his yearly checkup - and found to have inoperable brain cancer. They opened my Mother up, only to find her stomach full of cancer. All this news in the span of one week. I didn't know how I'd get through it. At the time I was going to school nights (in my final semester - only the second of five kids to go to college - and I did it all myself), working full time, and caring for my family - two of my kids in HS & one in JH. That was November, and in May Mom watched me Graduate with Honors - she died in August of that year, & my Dad the following July - 51 weeks apart. My MIL is still with us, but fading fast. Sorry this is long, and I didn't mean to go into so much detail, or seem like I was bragging. My point is that you never know what strength lies within you untill you need it. God never gives us a cross to bear bigger than he knows we can handle. You are in my thoughts, and although this time may be difficult for you, I have no doubt that you will weather this storm, and be a stronger person for it.

Keep us informed,
Sue
 

AwayWeGo

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Words Of John Donne (1623)

If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is.

The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that this occasion wrought upon him, he is united to God.

Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.​

(From John Donne - "Devotions upon Emergent Occasions" [1623],
XVII: Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris - "Now, this bell tolling softly for another, says to me: Thou must die.")
 

Chrisky

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My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time.
 

Cathyb

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Liz: Prayers from Cathy and Bruce heading your way. Just remember your Dad will be free from pain and suffering and in a better place.
 

luvsvacation22

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Dear Liz,

I have started a prayer list that I keep right next to my computer which I write down names and prayer requests. I have added your name to that list. I pray daily for these requests. Here is a scripture..."The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:5b-7 and "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 (NIV) God bless and I will be praying for your health, strength and peace that transcends all understanding!
Dorene
 

Jestjoan

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Prayers and a BIG TUG hug........
 

Liz Wolf-Spada

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Thank you so much, from my heart to yours. Having my online Tug family really helps. I didn't make it to church today because I wasn't feeling well and can't sit when my back is bad, but you brought church to me.
God Bless you all,
Liz
 

erm

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Liz, my mother (92) spent her last days in hospice care. They treated her with such care and dignity, I'll be forever grateful. The doctor at the facility talked at length with my sisters and me and she did say that there is a different feeling that you'll experience when you lose the second parent. This doctor was not only wonderful in her treatment of my mother, but gave us girls valuable information. She had great insight. Perhaps you could find out if there is someone at hospice for you to talk to about your feelings. By the way, I am also a teacher (but now retired) and received a great deal of support from my colleagues. I can understand how you're feeling and will pray that you find the stength to go about your daily life and deal with your father's illness too.
 

dmharris

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Dear Liz,

Prayers heading your way. For me, there is a special relationship with dads and daughters. If this is true for you, try to see the blessing of having your dad for these many years. My darling, sweet MIL passed from Parkinson's and when the time came, it was a blessing. My husband, after watching her suffer from this disease, said there was something to said for a heart attack. Ironic, huh? We know what you're dealing with.

Prayers for strength and peace for you and comfort and freedom from pain for your dad.
 

Gramma5

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Another Tugger praying for your improved health and strength and peace for this journey in your life. May God comfort you and also your Dad. I understand how you are feeling as my dad lived with me for the last 2 1/2 yrs. of his life and I cared for him as he was dying. Even tho I am a nurse...I was his daughter and it was a difficult and emotional journey but we both knew he was going to be with my mom and his Lord, and it gave us comfort.
 

Liz Wolf-Spada

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Update, I went down to see my dad after work today. He is non-responsive, shallow breathing. The Hospice nurse says hours to days. I did sing songs to him, as they say his hearing should still be fine, and that made me feel like there was something I could do for him.
My doctor says my severe back pain is probably from my SI joint and has me back on anti-inflammatory pills which I stopped last year due to esophogitis. I am going to try to start swimming again when I can, though the pool is a 30 mile drive each way.
At least I got a lot of sleep last night.
Thanks,
Liz
 

applegirl

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I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers. Even when you know a death is coming, every death is still a sudden death.

Now everyone, a big group TUG HUG for Liz!

Janna
 

grest

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I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through...
Connie
 

Linda

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Liz,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
You are such a ray of sunshine to the TUG community and when one hurts, it affects so many of us.
Hugs go out to you.

Linda
 

talkamotta

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My mother was diagnosed with leukemia in 1984 and died that year Dec 18th. My father went into the hospital with a heart attack on New Years Eve and he died Jan 12, 1985. I have 5 children (the two youngest were 2 and 3yrs old at that time). I worked full time and at that particular time it was on a project/conversion with mandatory overtime. I also was the executor of the estate and was a mother to my brother and sisters.

I still miss my parents all the time. Everytime I see my grandchildren and feel the joy I have in them and my children, I hope they are watching. Since then I have had other hard times, but I think "If I could get through 1985, I can get through this too".

During that time, I know that I was carried by someone greater and stronger than myself. I didnt do it alone, I wasnt that strong. Im not sure if God is specific to any religon but that is who I pray to everyday. I will pray to him for you, too.
 

Ginny

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You know, from time to time when I am doing some deep searching, or pondering existential questions, I turn to Parabola magazine. It's often too academic when I'm in a lighter mood, but for times of transition it can provide some insights from several religious perspectives. I remember that the issue on "Dying," v.27:2, was particularly good.

Here's the link to back issues: http://parabola.org/component/option,com_virtuemart/page,shop.browse/category_id,6/Itemid,80/

Parabola's Summer 2002 Issue: Dying In the end, death's justice comes to us all, in order to make space for the other candles waiting in the hallway of life to be lit. --from "Godfather Death" Cover:"Journey's End" From Splendor Solis by Salomon Trismosin. London: British Library, 1582. Harley MS 3469. Reproduced by permission of the British Library.

In this issue:
"So Many Tears I Was Searching" by Murray Littlejohn and Edward Tingley - Reflections on the death of George Harrison
"Why We Wash the Dead" by Leslie What - Exploring the Jewish ceremonial washing
"Godfather Death" by Madronna Holden - Storytelling lights the transition
POINT OF VIEW: "'How Long, O Lord?'" by Roger Lipsey
"The Last Note" by Therese Schroeder-Sheker - How music wakens and heals
"Desiring the Crucifixion" by Henry H. Sturtevant - The profundity of the symbol
"No Tragic Confrontation" by Friedrich Nietzsche - A "voluntary" dying
"Apoptosis" by Dror Mevorach - The deliberate death of cells
"A Face of Translucent Beauty" - An Interview with Nancy Poer
ARCS: "Words on Taking Leave"
"The Road of Stars" by Joseph Bruchac - Arriving at the astral plane
"With a Steady Eye" by Rebecca Sachs Norris - Life as preparation
"Consumed by Either Fire or Fire" by Kim Coleman Healy - Thoughts on Thomas Merton
"Journey through the Underworld" - Follow the sun's path
Epicycles - Traditional stories from around the world
"Over the Hill" / Arapaho (Native American)
"The Moon's Message" / Hottentot (African)
"The Water of Everlasting Life" / Afghan - retold by Jenn Cavanaugh
"Time to Die" / European
"Death's Messengers" / Zen
"King Dasaratha's Death" / Hindu - retold by D. K. M. Kartha
 

summervaca

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Praying for peace for you Liz. I have lost both of my parents and what a profound loss it is. Take care of yourself.

Debbie
 

Liz Wolf-Spada

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My dad passed away this morning at 2 AM. I had gone to see him after a doctor's appt. that got me halfway there. My brother came. My sister came later. He saw all of us, plus two of his grandkids, my sister's daughters. I fell asleep about 11 after driving home and woke up at 2 and thought, " My dad? No, he'll be alive for at least another day or two." Couldn't fall back to sleep and 15 minutes later my friend, and my dad's caregiver called to say he had passed at 2. I got my sub plans done and went down there and am home and off to sleep. One minute I feel fine, the next I'm crying, not too surprising and I know that will go like that for a while and I will always miss him and remember what a wonderful dad, grandfather and husband he was. Everyone loved him.
Liz
 
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