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This.
It helps to look at SS in the context of when it was created. There weren't a lot of two earner families then, and I imagine that the numbers at that time were worked in a way that allowed for a benefit to be paid for the non-working spouse. Times and attitudes have, and continue, to change. Once the politicians feel that they can tinker with SS and not face any repercussions at the ballot box, they will make changes. They will probably have to, to keep the program afloat. My understanding was that SS was supposed to be a safety net. I think that we are headed back to that model.
My husband and I have never, ever had a pension plan. We started saving for retirement when we were in our early 20's (always a 401(k)). We started out saving 2% and bumped up that percentage whenever we received a raise. It took a few years, but lo and behold, eventually we were saving 15% of our salary. You never even miss it if you do it gradually. We have been lucky and have never had any job layoffs. But we have also lived frugally - still in the same house after nearly 30 years, drive "regular" cars - which we drive until they fall apart, we camped with our kids when we were younger - because we couldn't afford anything else. We stayed out of credit card debt. We paid off our student loans.
I have always worked part time because it was what worked best for our family, and also because I watched my mom struggle after my dad left our family. She had no skill, no degree, and no credit. I was determined to not wind up in that situation. But I certainly don't begrudge anything to those people who stayed home instead of working. It's just not for me.
Just read what Geekette wrote and I agree about the IRA limits, but if you are in that situation, put in the max and then save the rest in a regular account. I realize that you miss out on the tax benefit (and that is a shame) but it's not an excuse for not having enough retirement savings. If you don't have enough to retire on when you turn 65 (or whatever - my FRA is 67+ yay) then you will have to dial back your lifestyle.
Edit - not going to take this out because that would be a chickensh!t move, but I want to clarify that the earlier part of my post is not directed at you (OP). I used to hate (HATE!) my job too. Sometimes you have to make a change even if it seems impossible. There are better things out there.OP - you need to make a change in your life. You aren't as stuck as you think you are. Trust me, if you were diagnosed with cancer tomorrow you would suddenly be able to see your options quite clearly. You have lived in your home for a long time - surely you can sell for enough to payoff your loan? Then move somewhere cheap and rent. There are places that have a very low cost of living. Life is too short.
FYI- our home has been paid off for quite a long time. It's the taxes that are a killer.
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