• A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!
  • The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 30 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day!
  • TUG started 31 years ago in October 1993 as a group of regular Timeshare owners just like you!

    Read about our 31st anniversary: Happy 31st Birthday TUG!
  • TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce weekly short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!

    Free memberships for every 50 subscribers!

    Visit TUG on Youtube!
  • TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $24,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!

    Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $24 Million dollars
  • Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free!

    Tens of thousands of subscribing owners! A weekly recap of the best Timeshare resort reviews and the most popular topics discussed by owners!
  • Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!

    All T-shirt options here!
  • A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!
  • The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 30 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day!

An idea for presentations....

Fasttr said:
I can’t eat fruit. It makes me incontinent.

I could go for a Drake's coffee cake though.
Click to expand...

sorry, I only have Junior Mints!

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's

peppermint-- it's delicious!

It's very refreshing!
 
jont said:
sorry, I only have Junior Mints!

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's

peppermint-- it's delicious!

It's very refreshing!
Click to expand...

They sound great....can I buy them off of you. I've got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. A fifty kroner? How much is that?
 
Fasttr said:
They sound great....can I buy them off of you. I've got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. A fifty kroner? How much is that?
Click to expand...

Your paying in pennies? No . You have to have bills . Paper money . You can't pay with this.
 
jont said:
Your paying in pennies? No . You have to have bills . Paper money . You can't pay with this.
Click to expand...

Calzones from Pisano's. That's the ticket.
 
I had been swimming in the Cobia pool at Ocean Pointe for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aqua aerobics... Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.
 
Fasttr said:
I had been swimming in the Cobia pool at Ocean Pointe for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aqua aerobics... Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.
Click to expand...

Ramon the pool boy should be able to help you out. also, watch out for portly mailmen. I hear they like to do cannonballs on unsuspecting swimmers.
 
Last edited:
I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
The pro likes the cuban cigars....
 
vail said:
I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
The pro likes the cuban cigars....
Click to expand...

But do the Cuban's know their way around a crepe like the Dominican's do?
 
jont said:
Ramon the pool boy should be able to help you out. also, watch out for portly mailmen. I hear they like to do cannonballs on unsuspecting swimmers.
Click to expand...

Olly, olly, oxen, free!
 
amanda14 said:
Those meaty paws. I feel like I am dating George the Animal Steel.
Click to expand...

I don't get this Scissorhands. What, is he supposed to be like a super hero, like Green Lantern or somebody? What's with this guy? Just asking.
 
So, Fasttr. You're proposing a snow tire day at Ocean Pointe?
I have to say this, this proposal doesn't make a whole lot
of sense. :confused:

Fasttr: Long as they don't throw 'em in the pool. Help yourself to some shrimp, I brought enough for everybody.
 
jont said:
So, Fasttr. You're proposing a snow tire day at Ocean Pointe?
I have to say this, this proposal doesn't make a whole lot
of sense. :confused:

Fasttr: Long as they don't throw 'em in the pool. Help yourself to some shrimp, I brought enough for everybody.
Click to expand...

'Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running outta you.'

.
 
Last edited:
Yah, yah! You see in Little Jont the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jont is a has-been, don't make Little Jont a never-was!

You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yah-yah!
 
Fasttr said:
Yah, yah! You see in Little Jont the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jont is a has-been, don't make Little Jont a never-was!

You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yah-yah!
Click to expand...

Tamale!!!!!!!!
 
Mr Fasttr, let me tell you a story. In nineteen-ninety-nine I ticketed a
brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Marriott registration only zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in Marriott history. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he's become my 'white whale'. Mr Fasttr, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again!
 
When I was late for my dinner ressie at Rocco's Tacos on PGA Boulevard, I got pulled over for speeding. I told the officer "Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."
 
jont said:
Mr Fasttr, let me tell you a story. In nineteen-ninety-nine I ticketed a
brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Marriott registration only zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in Marriott history. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he's become my 'white whale'. Mr Fasttr, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again!
Click to expand...

I like that eye patch.
 
vail said:
I am going to play golf at Westchester Country Club.
The pro likes the cuban cigars....
Click to expand...

You're close, you're on the green. You just have to go for the
cup.
 
Fasttr said:
When I was late for my dinner ressie at Rocco's Tacos on PGA Boulevard, I got pulled over for speeding. I told the officer "Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."
Click to expand...

No, I don't think you're being helpful! I think you're being disruptive, and you make it very difficult for your friend here to improve his life!
 
When I was at my sales presentation at Ocean Pointe, the salesman was telling me a story of how the first every-other-year weeks came into being.

Apparently, back in the day, there came a time when there was only one prime week left to sell at Ocean Pointe. Two salesmen had done their usual highly professional job at making each of their prospective customers see the value in a developer purchase and each customer enthusiastically signed a purchase agreement for that one remaining week... after all, they were told stories of being able to book any week they wanted and there was no need to book far in advance, and of course at check in, they could request and be granted the best of views from the highest of floors...and so both customers, not wanting to miss the greatest of opportunities, affixed their signatures to the purchase contract at the very same time. When it became evident both were signed at the same time and both customers really wanted the week because of the additional benefits and incentives provided to them by the generous developer, the Closer came in to make the final decision as to who would get the week. After listenting to the arguments of both customers as to why they should get the week....the Closer's pontification in arriving at a decision went something like this.....

We'll, you've both presented very convincing arguments. On the one hand, amanda14, your promise was given in haste. But was it not still a promise? Hmm?

And, Jont, you did agree to an enjoyable week in exchange for compensation. But, does the fee, once paid, actually entitle the buyer to some assurance of an enjoyable vacation? Hmm? Huh? Ahh.

These were not easy questions to answer.

Not for any man...

But I have made a decision. We will cut the week down the middle, and give half to each of you.

And thus was born the EOY week. :D
.
 
Last edited:
The same salesperson was trying to explain how super-morphed Legacy points work, and how they grow magical powers if a Legacy owner were to purchase even the smallest number of Trust points.

After listening to his mumbo jumbo, I broke in with.....

Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done. Since June of 2010, people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too. So all of a sudden Marriott Vacation Club is going to come along and do it. Where do you get the ego? No one can do it. It can't be done.

To which he said.... I think we've worked out a system.

To which I replied.... Oh, you know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler. You're one of those losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.

To which he said.... No, this is very advanced. We've designed at set of rules that we can maintain the Legacy-Trust relationship by advancing all of the relationship pitfalls.

What he said that followed made a lot of sense....and then he got greedy!!!
.
 
Last edited:
At the end of the sales presentation I needed to come up with something to say so I could end it, collect my award and get the heck out of there, so I said, "Listen, I am not interested in purchasing any Trust points" and then the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of an elaborate excuse. And there's this voice inside of me going: "You're doing it! You're doing it!" And then my sales rep started to cry, and I weakened a bit. I almost relented, but the voice, Jont, the voice said "Keep going, keep going. You're almost out!" It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get though the crying and I keep running for the door. Then the cursing started. He's firing at me from the guard tower: "Son of a bang! Son of a boom!" I get to the top of the wall - the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away, I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!

And ten minutes later I was poolside with my award in hand.
.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top