An idea for presentations....

jont said:
are we already into re-runs for this thread?:confused:


are you a re-poster???????
Click to expand...

Haven't we had this conversation before?
 
Fasttr said:
Haven't we had this conversation before?
Click to expand...

They're gonna take you away to a nice place where you can
get some help. They're very friendly people there. My brother-in-law was there
for a couple of weeks. The man was obsessed with lactating women. They
completely cured him, although he still eats a lot of cheese.
 
jont said:
They're gonna take you away to a nice place where you can
get some help. They're very friendly people there. My brother-in-law was there
for a couple of weeks. The man was obsessed with lactating women. They
completely cured him, although he still eats a lot of cheese.
Click to expand...

You're starting to sound like the guy with the funny face that greets you at the beginning of the Super Terrific Happy Hour.
 
Fasttr: Lately, though, I've been, uh, - I've been buying the generic brand of waxed beans. you know.

I rip off the label. I can hardly tell the difference.

Jont: Well, we've officially bottomed out. What's our next post?

Fasttr: We've got nothing!

Jont: We need a new thread. We should shut down and re-post.
 
Last edited:
Jont. See, here, you're just another apple, but in Japan, you're an exotic fruit. Like an orange. Which is rare there.
 
vail said:
I love caaashmeeeere.........
Click to expand...

When I was a little girl in Panama, a rich American came to our town and he was wearing the softest most beautiful sweater. I said to him, "what do you call this most beautiful fabric?", and he said "they call it cashmere". I repeated the words "cashmere, cashmere". I asked if I could have it, and he said "No. Get away from me." Then he started walk away. But I grabbed onto his leg screaming for him to give me the sweater and he dragged me through the street. And then he kicked at me with the other foot and threw some change at me. Oh, but I didn't want the change Jontie. I wanted the cashmere.
 
silentg said:
What's this red dot?
Click to expand...

That is damn good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwards you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.

Thank God for Hennigans!
 
Say you got a big Marriott presentation, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.
h-e-double n........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
Last edited:
jont said:
That is damn good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwards you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.

Thank God for Hennigans!
Click to expand...

You are such a boozer...

I bet you smell like the locker room after that game against Erasmus

What's next, going around giving boys wedgies.

Can't stand ya.... Can't stand ya
 
Fasttr said:
You are such a boozer...

I bet you smell like the locker room after that game against Erasmus

What's next, going around giving boys wedgies.

Can't stand ya.... Can't stand ya
Click to expand...

Hey! I'm off the wagon!.......or is it on the wagon?:confused:

Just keep Mrs. Ross and her flask away from me!
 
Fasttr said:
Jont. See, here, you're just another apple, but in Japan, you're an exotic fruit. Like an orange. Which is rare there.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr Fasttr is very
funny to TUG fans, but I'm not sure this timeshare thread would work in Japan.

You must go now!
 
Last edited:
jont said:
I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr Fasttr is very
funny to TUG fans, but I'm not sure this timeshare thread would work in Japan.

You must go now!
Click to expand...

Jont, I was looking at your avatar picture....

See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.

The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.
 
Fasttr said:
Jont, I was looking at your avatar picture....

See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.

The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.
Click to expand...

as long as i'm ensconced in velvet, the buttons can be anywhere.
 
jont said:
as long as i'm ensconced in velvet, the buttons can be anywhere.
Click to expand...

Speaking of buttons....I was at the zoo today and I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that he did it. Well, I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it. He pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jont.
 
Fasttr said:
Speaking of buttons....I was at the zoo today and I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that he did it. Well, I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it. He pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jont.
Click to expand...

He's a helpless primate.
 
Fasttr, you wanna hear something? Your cousin, Jeffrey, is switching resorts. Marriott is transferring him to Monarch - so he'll completely revamp that
operation, you understand? He'll do in Monarch what he did in Grande Ocean. It's more money. So, that's your cousin.
 
jont said:
Fasttr, you wanna hear something? Your cousin, Jeffrey, is switching resorts. Marriott is transferring him to Monarch - so he'll completely revamp that operation, you understand? He'll do in Monarch what he did in Grande Ocean. It's more money. So, that's your cousin.
Click to expand...

What happened to your eyebrows?
 
That reminds me, I'm not getting you guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. He gave me the creeps.
 
jont said:
That reminds me, I'm not getting you guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. He gave me the creeps.
Click to expand...

I can’t eat fruit. It makes me incontinent.

I could go for a Drake's coffee cake though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top