When you take friends on vacation

[Kal]

I'm also a firm believer in the "3-day rule". After 3 days in close proximity even the best of friends become like 3-day old fish. Knowing this will occur, I insist that the other couple get their own car and to please venture out on their own for side trips and dinner now and then. We very frequently go places in one of the cars (trading off). What's nice is we're not tied to them and they are not tied to us. It works like a charm and the 3-day fish rule is by-passed. This becomes very important for 2-week stays.

 

[DaveNV]

Admittedly, I'm much newer at this than some of you, but here's what we've done:

When we were guests at my brother's timeshare, before I had ever purchased my own, I offered to pay for the rental car. Over the course of the week we traded off who paid for meals, or we split the bill. We were two couples, and it worked out nicely. We've since traveled together, and this sharing thing works well for us.

When I invited a friend to accompany us to stay in one of our timeshares, we gave her the smaller bedroom, drove her in the rental car we already had, charged her nothing for the experience. She paid her own airfare, and paid for many of her own meals (woman loves to drink!), so it wasn't a financial burden for us. We didn't feel taken advantage of, since we invited her to come along with us. (The experience wasn't so great because of her personal habits and lack of interest in what we'd all previously planned to do, so we haven't invited her to come along since. But that's a topic for another thread.)

With other friends we've invited along, the invitation was expressed as "Hey, we've got this timeshare trip we're planning, and we'd love to have you come along. All you'd have to pay for your share is..." And the deal has been struck. Only a few have agreed, and most have said, "Sounds great, but I don't know if we can afford that right now." So we've asked others to go instead. There are no hard feelings or misunderstandings, and everyone knows what to expect. Many of our friends don't take formal vacations, so the lack of money may be a legitimate thing for them.

And if we end up going alone, well, that okay, too. We were going anyway.

Dave

 

[hvacrsteve]

I usually ask how much our part would be, if I don't get a clear answer, I don't accept.

On the other end, I offer it, not expecting any money, if they offer something I will accept it, depending on whom it is.
If they don't offer enough, I never invite them again.

That is pretty simple, family I never ask for money nor will I accept money.

If I don't want them along I don't even tell anyone where or when we are going.

There are many free loaders around, some can't actually afford this life style and I am aware of that so I am careful whom I ever ask to go with us.

I usually tell them I would have to get a bigger room and that is x cost!

If they want to go, then that is what it is!

 

[DonM]

...but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc.

However, ...I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there.

I'm a bit confused, are these your friends or acquaintance's? You state friends in the title, but then you act like they're not friends- expecting them to pay you something because you traded your entire 2 bedroom at another location (plus paying the maintenance fee and transfer fee!!)

Don't you value the pleasure of their company?

If you can't afford to ask them to join you without having them pay some part, then you should either not invite them, or discuss the financial terms ahead of time.

Doing neither and complaining about it later makes you look petty.

 

[vacationhopeful]

NEGreyhound,
My sister asked how much, told her their share was $430 for the week, and never saw the $$$ either - except they also ate my food and drink, complained that their 2 double beds were uncomfortable at the 1st resort, that their private 2 bdr unit faced another building vs my ocean view at the 2nd resort, texted me last minute to cancelled the planned day trip to take another trip as a couple, told me the food tab I owed on dining out, and brought just a single draft beer as a thank you.

I moved to 3rd resort for 2 nights while they stayed the last of the 7 nights in the 1st resort. They told me the 3rd resort was really nice and would be the resort they would only want when they come back. I decided I better help them pack at 9:30AM as the rooms were on my credit card - I dragged the last of their luggage out to their car at 10:15. BIL does not like to move on anyone's schedule other than his. I enjoyed my last day alone very much.

I have only one word for them in the future: REDWEEK!

 

[tiel]

We have invited friends and family to join us on a number of timeshare vacations, and it never occurred to us to ask for help with the costs, with the exception that everyone pays their own travel costs. When we invited them, we were glad for their company. Sometimes we were treated to dinner or groceries, and were very appreciative. But we did not expect our guests to compensate us in any way. We have limited means, but we only invited folks when we could afford to treat them. Guess we are fortunate to be able to do that!

 

[post-it]

I would find it hard to ask for any cost for M/F since I would need to pay this regardless. I might feel differently if we had traded through II in order to get a larger place to accommodate them or travel to a particlular destination both couples want to travel to. Then I could see letting them know there is additional cost for this destination.

 

[pedro47]

This is a very hard thread to read, but I have enjoyed reading the many comments.

We have invited one family member to over thirty (30) t/s vacations in the past 20 years and we have not received one single penny toward m/f.

Do I like it "NO." But it is GOOD FAMILY TIME TOGETHER.

 

[m61376]

If I invite a friend to my owned timeshare then I am inviting them as I would to my home, and I would neither expect or accept renumeration. If I purchase a Getaway for us to use with another couple then splitting the cost seems fair.

Under protest I've allowed a friend to treat us to dinner one night, but was adamant that they did not treat the other nights. Groceries can be split. If you are both sharing a rental car for the week then I guess splitting that cost would be fair, but if friends only come for part of the week and you'd be renting anyway, it would bother me to let them chip in.

I look at it as that I can't charge for anything that isn't costing me extra because we have company. Hopefully your guests enhance your own vacation.

Family gets an all expense paid trip; I think a lot of us buy hoping that we will take family vacations with the kids and grandkids in the future, and when they come it's our pleasure to treat.

 

[Tacoma]

We have wonderful friends who on their very first timeshare vacation offered to pay half of the costs associated. I added up the costs (maintenance and exchange fee) and they were only to happy to pay. Since then we have bought a timeshare with them to use EEY with them and we wrote down what would be fair if one couple couldn't go or if we ever don't want to travel together anymore. We discussed it and if need be that will be how we share the timeshare. Since then they have bought a timeshare and invite us so now we just trade off paying for vacations they had their timehare new year's and we went for a few days and they are coming with us to Orlando and I told them it was our treat. The best thing is we keep discussing it.

THe first time I invited my sister and her husband they covered the van rental for all of us but this summer I don't want her to cover anything as she is bringing my Mom down to S Carolina to visit relatives and I am providing the vacation on HH for her and my Mom since she had to give up vacation time and money to travel with our mother. Again we're lucky that everyone is comfortable discussing financial arrangements before we travel.

Remember though, I think it is difficult to find people you like to travel with
so I would tread lightly if you're trying to change the onditions they are used to.

Joan

 

[NEGreyhound]

Different relatives, different approaches

Most of our relatives retired 10 years before us and on several occasions we stayed with them during the school break in March at various places in Florida. We offered to pay for everyone's groceries while we were there and would take them out to supper at least once.
Now that we've bought into the timeshare vacation part of our life our adult children visit us yearly. We own mainly 1 bedroom units and 4 or 5 in that limited space with our daughter, son and daughter-in-law is never a problem. We love them to come and enjoy spending the time with them.
When our other relatives who offered us a place to stay in years gone by have been able to travel with us I have moved up to 2 bedroom units and never asked nor expected any compensation, although it has been offered. Most times we've been treated to a meal at a nice restaurant as a thank you. Quite unexpected but greatly appreciated. We enjoy the company.:whoopie:
When it comes to other inlaws, 3 weeks together for the last 3 years, in 1 bedroom units is way beyond the 3 day rule for me.
I love my inlaws, not as much as my children of course, but next Feb and March I really hope there is only the 2 of us in the T/S. I need to work on that conversation!

 

[Kel]

We’ve had close friends go with us on vacation and we only expect them to pay for their airfare and expenses when we get there. We allow our friends to treat us to one dinner while we are on vacation (because they insist). The rest of the time we split the check, take turns with the check. Just like we do at home. We just enjoy their company. And, they always send a nice thank you card when we get home.

 

[dioxide45]

We look at it much like a vacation home. If we had a vacation home and invited family or friends, we would not expect to be compensated for the costs of the home. We wouldn't charge rent or expect them to pay part of the mortgage, electric or other bills for the time they were there.

We have invited my parents, my in-laws, and friends. We have never asked or expected any reimbursement for accommodation. They pay for their own transportation costs, dining out costs, and attraction admission costs. Sometimes we split the cost of a car rental, sometimes we don't. Everything that is expected is laid out ahead of time. Sure our friends and family get some great trips. We also take many great ones on our own too. To us, the thought of getting reimbursement for the MF has never crossed out mind.

 

[geekette]

What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay? We have not done this yet, but may in the future. When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom. So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.

1/2 the MFs? Some other dollar amount? Ideas greatly appreciated!

Cheers!

to me, it's my 'fair cost'. this varies. I never figure in my membership fees/annual dues, just maint.

I own in a points system and sometimes rent things out, and often use saved points myself. I waive off offers to pay for saved points.

If I've had a good rental year, I go by my min rent rate, divide it by number of people, or number of bedrooms.

If I haven't made my costs back that year or don't expect to, I look at my "max ask rate", round or pound that down to a number I would feel comfortable asking as per person/per night rent. If I haven't made my nut, I'm not making it up off my friends and family, but I need their contribution.

If I used points to bank to exchange, I use mid-range points cost as above + exchange, divide by number of people.

 

[geekette]

My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries!
I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.

why invite them? really, if you don't want them there or you don't like how that went down, don't invite them.

I invite family I want with me, I don't invite people I don't want to be there. three weeks would be a very long time. I would absolutely need to be compensated for that!!!

 

[jlr10]

Over the years I have stayed in timeshares with some of my girlfriends, due to the generosity of DH who gave up his time. I never asked for compensation because the cost to me was the same if they did or did not go, with the exception of one trip. Usually I got a night out to dinner by who ever I took. On the one trip, where I also booked a getaway week as I was taking 7 girlfriends to the desert, I told the up front the week was my gift to them for their gift to me-their friendship. I was treated like a queen that week, and the end they informed me they were paying for me to go to Las Vegas with my sister to see Barry Manilow. So I made out big time on that one!

I just returned from Kauai where I spent a week with my friend of 37 years as we went on the 'Fabulous 50 tour.' Upfront I told her I was providing the week but expected her to pay 50% of all other costs. She agreed that it was a good deal. I had a great week, we did not need to discuss money, as it was all agreed upfront. At the end we compared credit card receipts and agreed to the 50% split. But she had such a great time she treated me to dinner the last night we were there. Since we went to the Beach House it more than covered my exchange fee. But even if it hadn't I still would not have felt slighted. I am blessed to be able to travel with a friend, and even more blessed to have friends who want to travel with me.

But I have had people who have asked me how they could take advantage of my timeshare use. I usually find I cannot accomodate these people at any price.

 

[teepeeca]

jlr10

Quote---But I have had people who have asked me how they could take advantage of my timeshare use. I usually find I cannot accomodate these people at any price.----

I think those people are NOT wanting to take advantage or your timeshare---BUT---are wanting to take advantage of you !!!

Just "my" thoughts.

Tony

 

[mpizza]

I love to travel and am fortunate to get six weeks vacation, so I have many variations on this theme.

We treat to our yearly extended family 4th of July week at our home resort. We're up to four units, priceless to me as it is so wonderful to spend quality and quantity time with all the people I love - children, grandchildren, Mom, sister, nieces and nephews. This year I'm hiring a photographer to take a group picture - Mom is 88 and my youngest grandchild will be 5 months.

On other trips we have good friends that we invite from time to time. If their budget allows, they treat us to dinner or a show. If money is tight, we barbecue and have blender drinks in the unit. We still enjoy each other's company. I would never not invite someone I love because they don't have money to reimburse me.

I also travel with a group of girlfriends and when we travel together we split everything - the maintenance/exchange fee, liquor, groceries, car rental. We're all independent and no hard feelings if one wants to sleep-in and relax at the pool and the other one wants be up at 6 am to go on an excursion. I treasure these trips as my DH doesn't enjoy traveling as much as I do.

Maria

 

[dioxide45]

---Deleted---

 

[sun&fun]

We have good friends who have been our guests in Aruba and St. Kitts. As others have noted, we invited them as guests, and do not expect them to cover the TS costs. However, they wanted to do something more than pay for a few meals. Knowing I'm on the board of a charitable organization, they've made annual donations to the charity each of the years we traveled together. That's a win-win-win for everyone. We enjoy their company, the charity benefits and they get a deductible donation!

 

[Timeshare Von]

Over my nearly 30 years of timeshare ownership, two marriages and lots of timeshare vacations with family and/or friends, I have never expected any sort of payment towards the timeshare accommodations, even if using our 3BR lockoff.

In the initial conversations about such group vacations, I guess most of our guests have said "great, we'll pick up the rental car" or something like that . . . which is great. But if not, the cost of the car would be something we'd have whether or not we'd have others along for the trip.

The only expectations of "splitting costs" that I would expect would be groceries and dining out, plus everyone paying for their own activities, admittance fees, etc.

With that being said, my 77 yr old MIL has been traveling more with us and when we take her, it is generally 100% our expense because on her very fixed income, she simply cannot afford those costs out. For us, it is often viewed like a holiday (Christmas) present or just the cost of getting together a couple of times a year when otherwise we might not due to the out of state distance between our homes.

I have friends who love to travel with me whether by timeshare or otherwise . . . and they know I shop the best prices and am able to obtain some wonderful deals on activities so they are more than generous with the sharing of appropriate expenses. My friend Cathy has gone to Hawaii once with me and Alaska twice. While we discuss general costs up front, once we are traveling, she is very aware of the added costs and jumps right into the sharing mode.

The most important thing is that you have the conversations up front and set the expectations. Once you have allowed someone to assume you're footing the full costs, it may be tough to reel that in without damaging the relationships. If you must, however, my advice would be to accept full responsbility up front for failing to communicate your expectations so that you do not come across accusatory towards the others.

 

[beejaybee]

We’ve had close friends go with us on vacation and we only expect them to pay for their airfare and expenses when we get there. We allow our friends to treat us to one dinner while we are on vacation (because they insist). The rest of the time we split the check, take turns with the check. Just like we do at home. We just enjoy their company. And, they always send a nice thank you card when we get home.

This works for us, too. We trade for places we want to travel to, and for 2 & 3 bedroom units. We then ask friends or family if they would like to join us. I figure we are going regardless of who may join us. And we find it fun to travel with others.

The first time we asked 2 couples to join us in a 3 bedroom at the Osbourne in Torquay England, we asked them to split our m/f + exchange fee. But then I felt guilty taking the master bedroom w/ ensuite. So since that time, it's our treat. The next time they joined us, they asked how much they owed, and I told them nothing but if you like you could treat us to dinner one night and that's how it's worked ever since.

We split all other expenses, including rental car.

 

[mo1950]

When we invite family, we do not ask for payment. It's usually just DH and I in a 2 BR with pull-out sleeper, so sleeps 6. We figure we have the room anyway and enjoy their company.

Always feel bad when MIL insists on paying for one meal out, because she is elderly and on limited income. But she does insist and says it gives her a lot of enjoyment to do that. So we let her pay one time and pretend it doesn't bother us (we make sure it is not an expensive meal).

Another family member is a different story. After a few visits, they started suggesting going to expensive restaurants (when we had planned to eat at the condo), outings, etc. and then would magically disappear when it came time to pay the tab for everyone, including them and their large family. I actually saw this person hiding out in the crowd one time, watching my husband pay, and then they returned to our group after everything was paid (and this was after THEY had suggested going there). We should have known better. We have watched this person con the entire family out of money for decades. So one on us. They will not be invited again.

We are at the point now that we invite other family members for one or two days at a time. It works out better because it gives DH and I alone time. And we get to see family some too. We do not ask for payment, but we do feel more appreciated when guests do something special (even a very small token). But if they don't, our feelings are not hurt; no big deal.

 

[lvhmbh]

It has gone both ways for us - when we had a 2 br we asked a couple to join us and told them upfront that we expected them to pay their way. Not the car and not the unit just dining out. Well, they never did - disappear when the check came, oh yes! Another couple we invited complained constantly about the resort, the palapas, etc. We, of course, have never invited them again. Now we have a 3 br and have had couples as guests. We own a car so no cost there and they have been really good with paying their way for food, treating us or splitting the costs and they will be welcome again. I protested that the single friend of DH was paying half our bills at dinner (not the wine cuz he doesn't drink so we got a separate check for that) and he said "but I never pay at the grocery store and eat b-fast, lunch and sometimes dinner when you bbq on your dime" - he is sooo welcome back.

 

[dioxide45]

I don't understand how people get stiffed with the dinner check. When we sit down and before the server takes the order, we tell our server how to split the check. Therefore we get a check for just what we ordered and our guests get a check for what they ordered.

That disappearing s**t would not work for me.

When we go with the in-laws, my FIL has eyes much bigger than his stomach and usually orders the largest steak, add a soup, salad, upgrade a side to onion rings, or add a sampler of ribs. Their portion of the check is always much higher than our more modest spending. He just doesn't get that when you add all that extra stuff, you end up paying a lot more. I don't think he even looks at the prices, just the menu items. It always takes him forever to figure out what he wants, and usually ends up with an $8 burger (if not a steak place) that turns in to a $20 meal with the add-ons. MIL always figures out their exact portion and pays us back (including tax and tip) if we ended up paying for the meal on our points card (to get the points).