When you take friends on vacation

[R2Bbrock]

We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba. Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case. I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.

 

[frenchieinme]

We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba. Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case. I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.

I know exactly how you feel as we have had the same experience but we approached it differently. Unless your intentions are to invite them as family and not charge them ANYTHING, then you need to set the conditions. There is nothing wrong with saying to them, "it will cost us $XYZ to be able to have a unit which would allow you to be our guests. Is this something that would interest you?" I have done this with friends of ours and they have paid what one would be expected to pay. On the other hand when the family comes down, it's on us as we like to share with them. If nobody comes, we are very happy to listen to the sounds of peace and quiet.

frenchieinme

 

[vacationhopeful]

I too have hosted persons and I know how you feel. I agree with frenchieinme totally.

As to the past two trips, your guests act as though you are treating them out of guilt or their entitlement or you are so much wealthier than them (assuming they are not asking you to vacation at a prime location with them picking up the full tab). You should expect a slightly icy shoulder when you bring this up for the next trip as you are changing the terms of their free vacation - I personally would just either start fresh with a new couple to travel with you or invite family.

Let us know if the original couple starts to inquiry about your ("theirs") upcoming vacation and have a practiced response - sometime along the lines of "We decide to invite other friends (family)" OR "We decide to go by ourselves as the economy is tight and we are cutting back on our costs".

 

[Kal]

The last thing you should do is surprise the guests with a request for money while at the resort.

I routinely invite guests but clearly make the initial offer with a request that they share the maintenance fee. This of course is only if they have their own separate bedroom and private bath. Otherwise, if there is no sharing of the fee, I would expect a nice dinner, a few drinks etc.

The real problem is reserving a 2 BR unit long in advance, then 2 months prior to occupancy, the guests decide not to go. I never say a word, but cross them off the list for any future consideration. Unfortunately, non time share owners really don't understand how the financial part works. Unless you tell them, they have no way of knowing.

 

[Elan]

My experience in these types of situations is since you've included them a couple of times already and they haven't stepped up to offer to help financially, they never will, and will be less than receptive if you start asking for compensation. I say either you find their company worthwhile enough to blow off the inequity, or just move on to include someone else that's more appreciative of your generosity.

I agree that non-TS owners typically think that once the TS is purchased, then it's effectively free to use. A lot of them don't understand that there are annual MF's, exchange fees, etc..

 

[dougp26364]

We have now taken another couple with us twice to Aruba. Of course they pay their own airfare but we trade our entire two bedroom unit at another location in order to get the two bedroom Marriott lock off for 7 nights in Aruba - paying the $900 maintenance fee and the trading fee for the year. r We do stay in the larger bedroom but totally share the kitchen and living areas, share equally in the groceries and bring a fair amount of food - coffee, snacks, etc. While I like having friends with us, I don't know what I should expect as far as payment - if anything. However, I do feel badly that nothing or very little is done in the way of reciprocating while we are there. I'm pretty certain that in both cases the friends were knowledgeable enough to know approximately what it was costing us. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for dinners, the rental car or something but that doesn't seem to be the case. I know that guests should be guests with no expectation on the part of "payback" by the host but after the second experience doing this I am starting to think that we should just go ourselves or take family. Any suggestions or input would be welcome.

When we take guests with us it's with the understanding that A) They'll pay their own way there and pay their own expenses and B) We don't expect any reimbursement for the accomadations or the rental car.

We'll rent a car whether or not someone is with us so that's no big deal to me. As for the accomadations we're the ones who asked someone to travel with us so we're the ones who provide the accomadations. We only ask friends or family to travel with us when we've aquired a 2 bedroom or larger unit. If our needs are for a single bedroom unit then that's what we reserve. Generally speaking, we make our travel plans first, then invite guests when we have enough space to allow it. We try not to get anyone into the habit of expecting us to ask them but, we always leave the door open if there's room.

Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.

 

[JanT]

I'm with DougP on this one. However, with that being said, it would be nice if our guests (or yours) paid for a few lunches or dinners but we never expect it. If they do, great - if they don't well, that's ok, too.

I think your friends will bristle at this point if you ask them for money to offset the cost of the maintenance fee, etc. They've gone two times previously and didn't have to pay. I'd say invite some new friends and if you want a little compensation be honest with them up front about it.

When we take guests with us it's with the understanding that A) They'll pay their own way there and pay their own expenses and B) We don't expect any reimbursement for the accomadations or the rental car.

We'll rent a car whether or not someone is with us so that's no big deal to me. As for the accomadations we're the ones who asked someone to travel with us so we're the ones who provide the accomadations. We only ask friends or family to travel with us when we've aquired a 2 bedroom or larger unit. If our needs are for a single bedroom unit then that's what we reserve. Generally speaking, we make our travel plans first, then invite guests when we have enough space to allow it. We try not to get anyone into the habit of expecting us to ask them but, we always leave the door open if there's room.

Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.

 

[Passepartout]

You've probably spoiled the waters with the couple you have invited before. If you don't want to lose their friendship by asking for money, best to either invite other friends or even easier, just book a 1 bedroom and if asked just say there isn't room.

If there's good communication, you could say something like, "We'd love to have you along, but we just can't afford to cover 100% of the cost." And see how it goes.

We have some family, some of whom are very generous about sharing, but some (quite well off) who have no-showed when we've booked nice, large, ocean-front accommodations. Guess who gets invited next time.

Jim Ricks

 

[Talent312]

Keeping my expectations low or realistic (expecting no money when I make the invitation) keeps stress to a minimum. If you expect someone to reimburse you it should be stated up front and not an expectation that is never said out loud.

Agreed. After two trips, the guests may feel they're entitled to go on the hosts dime.
The only "friendly" way is to let them know that you need a contribution or they ain't goinig.
But break it to 'em easy, like an apology as if its your fault...
(1) "Joe, this is a little embaressing, but... Would you be interested in 'helping out'?" OR,
(2) "We've got some stuff going on that'll make it impractical.

 

[Mel]

My experience in these types of situations is since you've included them a couple of times already and they haven't stepped up to offer to help financially, they never will, and will be less than receptive if you start asking for compensation. I say either you find their company worthwhile enough to blow off the inequity, or just move on to include someone else that's more appreciative of your generosity.

I agree that non-TS owners typically think that once the TS is purchased, then it's effectively free to use. A lot of them don't understand that there are annual MF's, exchange fees, etc..

If you expect compensation, it should be settled before everyone agrees to share accomodations. We have only taken family with us, but DH's parents have used escapes through our account a number of times and taken friends with them. They travel often with these friends, and they agree to share all expenses evenly.

When we have used our own weeks for the extended family, we have provided the accomodations, and someone else has provided food for the week. But this is always agrred upon ahead of time.

Perhaps your guests assume that your timeshare is no different than using a beach house or other second home, because you own it. If you are exchanging a week rather than points, you cost is no higher with a larger unit. If your costs are higher, you need to let your guest know. They are working on the assumption that your costs are sunk costs - they stay the same whether you invite them, go alone, or don't use the week at all.

Even if you come to some sort of agreement regarding sharing of expenses, remember that you are "choosing" the accomodation, which put you largely in control. If they are sharing the costs, they should have some control as well - but that could come back to bite you, if you find you don't like this activities that interest them, or the restaurants they choose for dinner each night.

As for taking the same couple again, it there is a way of tactfully letting them know that the first vacation was a "gift" but any further travel will be with shared expenses, go ahead. Otherwise, I would stick with someone new (but if you choose a couple that is close frineds with the ones who already went, don't be surprised if they too expect to have a free ride).

 

[Conan]

I think if you invite somebody, they're your guest. Also, if it's a trip you'd take with or without their company I don't think their occupying the second bedroom costs you 50% in that sense.

A couple we invited to Scotland paid for the rental car as a counterbalance to our providing the lodging. Everything else we split equally. Fair enough, I say.

 

[Elan]

If you expect compensation, it should be settled before everyone agrees to share accomodations.

If I expected monetary compensation, I would definitely express that up front. On the other hand, sometimes it's nice to have guests acknowledge that you're treating them, by offering to pay for the rental car, or pick up dinner(s) at the time. I wouldn't ask for that up front, or ever, for that matter. IMO, that's just a matter of the guests being socially astute enough to realize that you're incurring expenses on their behalf and them offering to do likewise.

Personally, I am not one to get upset over matters like this. I try to put my best foot forward, and if I feel like someone's conciously taking advantage of my generosity I move on. These types won't be included on future vacations, but they'll still be friends otherwise. Life's too short to burn friendships over a few dollars, IMO.

 

[geekette]

I can't afford for invitees to be "guests" that don't contribute, and certainly, the best way to avoid this kind of uncomfortable situation is to spell everything out at invite time.

 

[ScoopKona]

I think if you invite somebody, they're your guest. Also, if it's a trip you'd take with or without their company I don't think their occupying the second bedroom costs you 50% in that sense.

Agreed. I haven't shared timeshare with friends often, mainly because our idea of a vacation is, well, different. We spend a lot of time at markets and in the kitchen.

However, the few times it made sense, our guests covered some incidental expense -- rental car, etc. And that was made clear at the time of the invitation. "We'll pick up the check for accommodations. You'll need to [fill-in-some-expense-here]."

I think it would be poor form to ask for compensation when the vacation is already underway, or finished. The time to discuss financial arrangements is before the trip is even booked.

The guests have little to no say in the time, place or resort. I don't see why they should be expected to pay 50% or even one third.

 

[falmouth3]

I invited my brother and his girlfriend to spend a day or so with us on our last vacation. We had a 1 BR TS for a week and an overnight in a Residence Inn type of place. They decided they wanted to spend more time with us. I enjoyed their company but it was more crowded than we'd planned. They paid for dinner one night, then we paid for the next, etc. I thought it was nice of them to offer.

I agree that it's difficult to ask your guests to help with the expenses, especially since you've had them on your dime in the past, but I think it's also possible to ask nicely if they would be willing to help out with the cost of the unit - after all people's financial and other situations do change with time. Some guests think that it's "free" anyway since you are obligated to pay for your maintenance fee anyway.

Good luck.

Sue

 

[Keitht]

When we first took friends with us we paid all the accommodation costs i.e. m/f, exchange fees and electricity. At the time t/s was a novelty to us and as the space was available it seemed sensible to use it. Over time I started to feel that the friend who travelled with us most often was taking the ..... somewhat as they never even offered to pay for any of the extras. For example, we might be away from the t/s for a couple of nights and although we booked 2 rooms we would split the cost 3 ways - in other words we were subsidising their accommodation.
In recent years I have simply told them what the accommodation costs are, that is to say 1/3rd of the exchange fee and car hire. If we travel away from the t/s I just ask for the cost of their room. They haven't complained and continue to come with us so presumably thing they are being treated fairly.
I have to say that as we get older we are less inclined to take other people with us. We want time together to be 'Us time' and free to do what we want when we want. Selfish - yup, and unapologetically so.

 

[pjrose]

Try this:

"Y'know, sometimes people think timesharing is essentially free after the initial purchase, but it actually costs us about $1,000 a week for the two bedroom's maintenance every year! If we only get a 1 bedroom we can go twice, with a smaller unit each time, but if we decide to get a 2 bedroom we're giving up that chance. We'd like you to go with us, but could you share in the costs? It's a lot less than staying in a plain old hotel! "

 

[LLW]

We have also invited friends to come to timeshare vacations out of town with us. They pay their own airfare, and have a second rental car if/when needed. We don't ask for anything back. But the experience were different. And whether we will invite them back for future trips will be different.

If we book an extra unit for them, I talk about their costs up front.

If we book a large unit, then invite friends as an afterthought, I don't talk about the costs. But some friends were really appreciative, and wanted to treat us to a nice dinner on the trip. Sometimes we accepted, sometimes we declined. They would buy a small gift for us. These friends will be invited back in the future.

On some other trips, some friends never made any gesture. Not even offered to treat us to dinner, or buy a small, token gift. These are friends who own Mercedes and BMWs, while we own Saturns and Buicks.

We are thankful for their company, and might include them in other plans in the future. But they won't be invited back for timeshare trips for a long time. And we have learned an important thing about how we can depend on them in the future.

 

[NWL]

What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay? We have not done this yet, but may in the future. When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom. So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.

1/2 the MFs? Some other dollar amount? Ideas greatly appreciated!

Cheers!

 

[Luanne]

What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay? We have not done this yet, but may in the future. When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom. So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.

1/2 the MFs? Some other dollar amount? Ideas greatly appreciated!

Cheers!

I would only charge friends, or family, if we incurred any additional expense in getting the timeshare unit. And in that case I would charge them 1/2 to all of the extra cost.

However, if this was a one-time thing, I might not charge them anything, but I would expect them to pay their own transportation, car rental, food, and hopefully host us to at least one meal out.

 

[rlblack]

We have great friends- that have timeshares (plural) and we have one - we normally "trade off"- one time we go to theirs, next time we go to ours. The couple that is staying in the "others" timeshare- usually buys the groceries for the unit- and we either pay our own out to dinner costs,trade off, or the couple that are the "guests", pick up the dinner at least once. We didn't have a great big discussion on it, we felt that when we did not own one- we should contribute- and it has become a habit.

We have other friends that we have invited- have insisted on paying thier part of the maintenance fee- so I just figured out a cheap daily rate- and they also paid for the groceries. These friends have gone to timeshare presentations, and decided not to buy. And we just enjoy having with them vacation with us.

One other time, had a friend join us- but we got a separate studio unit for her, since that made us all more comfortable (she smokes)- and she went to the desk, asked what the rental daily rate was- and sent us a check later for that amount. She too had in the past gone to timeshare presentations, and knew that there was a cost.

On the reverse- Have nieces, nephews, grown children- that have joined us, we enjoy and we pay for everything- and happy to do it, to have them with us.

Guess, you just have to pick folks that know the value of the timeshare, or send them off to a presentation- so they have a clue on the investment you have in the vacation.

Or you could, when inviting another couple, tell them when you join others that you normally pay for the groceries- put money up for part of the maintenance fee- or something like that- so they know up front.

hope this helps-

 

[BevL]

What does everyone think is a reasonable price to ask your friends to pay? We have not done this yet, but may in the future. When that happens, we would book the 2 bedroom. So far we have locked-off the 2 bedroom and rented out the 2nd bedroom to cover MFs and used the main 1 bedroom for ourselves.

1/2 the MFs? Some other dollar amount? Ideas greatly appreciated!

Cheers!

We charge a little less than half the maintenance fees. We pay a bit more than half plus the exchange fee plus insurance if I get it. We have first choice of the master bedroom since it's our timeshare (and we've paid more) but since we usually travel with the same two couples - one at a time - we switch that part around so that nobody always ends up in the second bedroom. We charge when we include them in on the planning - "We're going to Hawaii in 18 months, do you want to come? Okay, which island and when can you get time off." THen I put in for exchanges once we've sorted out the details

We've also taken the same couples on trips where we've paid the whole bill. That's kind of a 'we're going anyway and we happen to have a two bedroom, so you're welcome to come.' They pay their own airfare or we split car expenses, and groceries.

And we've taken family with no charge to them.

In the first scenario, it's always clear that cost will be X dollars for one week or two weeks. We split the car if we get one or have on occasion each gotten our own. Split the groceries.

But whatever we're doing, it's always clear long before we leave.

 

[NEGreyhound]

What do you do?

My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries!
I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.

 

[pjrose]

If the second bedroom is a lock-off...

I've done this:

"I'm kind of torn here...The annual maintenance fee for my timeshare is about $1,000. I could help make some of that up by renting the second bedroom to someone for around $700 for the week. I'd really rather have you guys come, but it's hard to give up that income. Would you be willing to help me offset that, for, let's say, $500? If that doesn't work for you this year, then I guess I'll have to try to rent it, and maybe you could come and split the costs with us next year."

 

[BevL]

My way of dealing with in-laws who stay with us quite often when we vacation in Feb. or March was to ask the question up front. This year would you be able and willing to pay 1/3rd of the cost of the MF. They were staying with us for 3 weeks Again. He said yes and checked with us what the dollar amount was per week that he would be expected to pay. During the 3 weeks he never paid 1 cent in the costs except groceries!
I thought asking the question up front and the explanation of the total cost was quite clear. Now I don't want to invite them to stay with us again this year but they are in-laws aren't they.

So they agreed they would pay, then didn't? You can choose your friends, you know - LOL.

Your option is to let them know that you will need the money by such-and-such a date (say a month before you go). You may still end up going by yourself if they don't pay but then it's not going to be an issue. That would be how I'd handle it, personally.