Update on My Dad's Estate

[JLB]

There were some harsh words yesterday afternoon, then dinner, preview show, and Mickey Gilley's with Rapmarks, followed by harsh words around midnight last night.

But this morning it is all hugs and kisses, with the attorney for the estate seeing what I am seeing (or not seeing) in the order assigning restitution to the beneficiaries.

They have agreed to add a clarification in the supplemental report.

It's a shame when it takes harsh words to get to the nice words.

 

[JLB]

I was organizing my records on this, putting 100s of sheets in chronological order, and kept track of the fees that have been paid as I did that.

So far about $76000.

 

[JudyS]

I was organizing my records on this, putting 100s of sheets in chronological order, and kept track of the fees that have been paid as I did that.

So far about $76000.

That's pretty scary! How does that compare to the amount of money that your family has actually received so far?

 

[JLB]

There four full beneficiaries and one 1/2, and that is pretty close to one full share!

About $50,000 went to the NASD attorney and it didn't even go to arbitration. That's the hardest pill to swallow because the brokerage did not have to drag it out more than two years and make us all agonize over it. They could have stepped up and did what was right, which was the words they told me the first day I talked to them. If they had, that $50,000 would have gone into our pockets.

The attorney for the estate is at a little over $20,000.

There's still another $80000 owed to us in the restitution agreement with the broker who stole/swindled the funds. There's 10 or 11 years left on it. His payment is late this month, but the Trust agent just emailed me a few minutes ago to say that it has arrived at the court clerk's office.

My mother's estate was simpler, but my brother's behavior created extraordinary attorney fees in it also. Of course, 1/2 of those fees came from my brother's share.

He appeared at the Hearing to approve the Final Report, to object to a number of things, but all he got was a 900-mile drive home.

That's pretty scary! How does that compare to the amount of money that your family has actually received so far?

 

[JLB]

While heading to the golf course to meet Rapmarks in January, I got a phone call from the office of the attorney handling my Dad's estate. They wondered if I had any idea why my brother had not cashed the last distribution check and signed off on the estate.

Today I got an email from the trust department that handled my mother's estate, asking if I knew why my brother had not cashed the distribution check from it.

Boy, that's what I want to be when I grow up, so well off that I can just ignore significant sums of money.

I wondered how his wife feels about it? I know how mine would.

 

[JLB]

Another story that seems to have no end.

Creep has again defaulted on the restitution. When he did that before the judge said next time would be automatic 10 days in the County jail, and possible probation revocation (10 years in prison).

I took that possibility up with my siblings in March, and two of them did not even reply.

Now they are all paying attention, and replying. They are way off base, but paying attention.

 

[JLB]

Even as I was replying to another person's thread inquiring about a similar topic, this is still playing out. I just got an email from the County Attorney's office.

Of the beneficiaries, only my brother apopears to be marching out of step.

 

[JLB]

Oops, as of her last email, add uppity stepsister to that.

Of the beneficiaries, only my brother apopears to be marching out of step.

 

[JLB]

Another update:

Creep had another hearing and got 10 days in jail for numerous probation violations, including late restitution payments. By the time of the hearing he had caught the payments up to date (excluding interest, in the words of the Prosecutor)

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but we have an acceleration clause that gives us the option of calling the full unpaid balance due and charging interest (21%) retroactive from the date of the first violation, which was the late payment Month 1.

That clause appears to require us to take action--file it in Court--to exercise that option and now the beneficiaries cannot all agree on whehter that is the case and whether we should do that, it being really, really onerous to go back two years and charge 21% interest.

 

[Icc5]

And we thought ours was long

We have been dealing the my wife's father's estate and the problems with IRA's, 3 houses and who ends up with what. 4 children involved and only 1 (us) already own our house.
When he passed away we found IRA's not titled the way he intended and all sorts of problems. Ongoing issues have caused one finanicial advisor to step away and his partner is dealing with my wife's sister. Just now started getting more involved with the lawyer. I've tried to stay out of it because it was my wife's father, not mine and I don't want any problems with the sibblings of my wife. I can already see resentment between three of them and their sister.
No fun.
Bart

 

[JLB]

I don't believe I have said this, but the problems with both my mom's and dad's estate, and with others I have knowledge of, is that they (the departed) did not address this issue while they were here, or while they were able to.

I have found that to be commonplace with the current, older generation that has this to deal with, that their upbringing, whether it be having lived through the Great Depression or whether it be that personal finances was not something they shared with others and something not to be asked about by others, but for a myriad reasons they seem reluctant to do planning of this nature with the children/heirs. (Run-on sentence )

Regardless of your age and condition, have you? Do you have things in order?

 

[Rose Pink]

Just took Dad (FIL) to the lawyer's yesterday to sign his trust, etc. We'd done it all before but he had wanted some changes--and simply wrote them on the trust. I am now keeping the originals and gave him the copies so that if he writes on them, we still have a clean original. He is gradually getting to the point where he will not be able to make rational decisions. I've told him over and over that if he wants his money to be used a certain way, he needs to set it up legally or it won't happen. His big hang-up? Money. DH paid for his Dad's original planning 5 years ago. I had hoped that Dad would pick up the tab for the "repairs" but he was overcome by the $165/hr fee. I told him he'd need about $200 and he reluctantly agreed to that. I had discussed privately with the lawyer Dad's hangup about money and we arranged that he would give a bill to Dad for $200 and I would quietly pay the rest which I did. It is worth it for my peace of mind. If there is any money left in the trust after he dies, DH and I will reminburse ourselves for the lawyer fees. If not, it was just the right thing to do. Dad could have easily paid but he just can't bring himself to spend money. I told him it was worth $200 to protect his $250K of assets (home and bank accounts). I also think he thought he was giving up control putting his assets into a trust. We keep telling him he is the trustee--it's his money, he can do with it what he wants. He was never a very saavy man and has lost money in failed S&Ls and questionable stock purchases so I think he is leery of of doing things his generation didn't do. He had had a generic type will drawn up at the senior citizens's center many, many years ago (at a cost he could appreciate which was probably nothing or next to nothing). It did not address so many issues. But, he was familiar with what a will is and he is not familiar with what a trust is (or that it isn't just for milllionaires). He is also leery of the POAs which give control to others. I just don't think he fully understands that he is actually gaining control by designating these things in advance. He's not stupid but these things just weren't done in his circle.

Have DH and I done our own planning? Yes, but it is seriously outdated and needs to be redone. If I can get DH in town on a weekday we'll be heading to the lawyer ourselves. You can't just do these things once and forget about them. Circumstances change and so should our estate planning and POAs. This mess with my FIL has made me more aware of the potential mess I am leaving my own children and I don't want to do that to them.

 

[JLB]

I have not reimbursed myself for anything, including hundreds of hours and many trips, for either my dad or my mom.

I declined the legal executor's fee for my mom's.

Of course, that did not win me any brownie points with any of those involved, but it did with those that matter most, my mom and my dad. Trying to see that what they intended got done was the least I could do for the many years they had done for me, probably without enough gratitude from me.

But, sadly, I have learned the past five years that not many people think like me.

Even our attorney. When I say I have done something like that--not taken money or taken less than I could have on something--because I simply felt it was the right thing, he says, "That's stupid! Take the money."

Oh yeah, our former attorney.

 

[DaveNV]

I've just last month laid my father's estate to rest (pun intended) after a year of back-and-forth with attorneys, out of state titling on a mobile home, and government bank accounts. It was a huge exercise in making lawyers richer, and a solid lesson in "proper" estate planning. I also learned a Will is only as good as what it says - not what it intends - and everything is up to "interpretation." What a pain. I'm SO glad it's finally over.

I wish all of you facing similar situations the very best. The days of "you're the eldest child, so you inherit everything" are long gone.

Dave

 

[JLB]

With the end of Creep's probation rapidly approaching, the threat from him and his father that restitution payments will end, the fact that he actually stopped making payments after a judge warned him not to in a Probation Review Hearing, and the fact that he will no longer be supervised and reporting, I have scheduled a hearing, June 11, to accelerate restitution and assess interest. It means that I am asking that Creep pay the entire balance before the end of probation.

I knew I could not live with myself if I had all the warning we have had, and then did nothing.

I don't believe it is a slam dunk because of a word in the acceleration clause.

The word is immediately, suggesting that this is an action that had to be taken at the time of the default. At that time I requested it of the Executor and Attorney for the Estate. I have that in writing, including the Executor's confirmation of that request and that the attorney was preparing the request, and a subsequent letter from the attorney saying he had decided not to because of the scheduled Probation Revocation Hearing.

I have the transcript from that hearing in which the Prosecutor mentioned that that was the desire of the beneficiaries, but that he was not requesting it.

At that time, the beneficiaries were stunned that it was not accelerated--by the Estate, the Prosecutor, or the Court--and we found out after the fact.

The saving word in the clause may be may, as in may file this agreement in District Court, creating a vagueness, that being that filing in District Court may not be a requirement to begin with. My brother takes that position, that it is our option to accelerate it without notice (it does say that). My position is that it says to go to District Court, so that is the intention (however poorly it may be worded). How would the court know the proper balance if we did not do it through the Court?

Also in our favor is the judge's order from the Probation Review Hearing, which was called at the time Creep and his Dad threatend to stop payments after probation. That order said that the matter of restitution could be scheduled for a hearing prior to the end of probation, and that is what I am doing.

I am doing it per se, making the 800-mile round trip because my stepsister, who lives within walking distance of the courthouse, will not.

 

[lvhmbh]

Good luck JLB!!! Linda

 

[grest]

What a drag! Good luck...
Connie

 

[laxmom]

Good luck, JLB!! Keep us posted.

 

[Dori]

Wishing you the best of luck, JLB. This has been an absolute nightmare for you.

Dori

 

[JLB]

First, a correction. Creep actually stopped making payments twice after being warned. The first time he got a suspended 10-day jail sentence and the second time he served it.

The prosecutor did not support us exercising our option to accelerate it either time.

Second, the acceleration clause says we can do it without notice, but the Court has sent notice to everyone, the Prosecutor, DOC, PO, Creep and Creep's Attorney. The clerk doesn't know not to do that since she doesn't know annthing about the acceleration clause.

 

[JLB]

This coming Wednesday will be the day.

Not unexpectantly, but unfortunately, my brother concocted one of his extravagent tangents, and put it in letter form to the Court, the Prosecutor, and DOC, making his demands.

Oh well, at least the judge will see how reasonable my request is. (Doing my best to put a positive spin on it).

 

[lvhmbh]

Good Luck!!! Let us know how you do!

 

[JLB]

Thanks.

I forgot to mention that I invited the attorney for Estate, the one who negotiated the Restitution Agreement and said he was going to accelerate it in 2006, and then did not, to assist us now.

He declined.

I've said it before, but the attornies involved with the estate wound up with approximately the same amount as each of the beneficiaries.