Stay At Home Humor

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[plpgma]

 

[DebBrown]

View attachment 47716

That is sadly so true. I am plagued with migraines and rarely do my good intentions manifest in activity.

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[Tank]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" said the pirate. "I feel fine."

Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball. But I'm fine now."

Bartender: "Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really..."

Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"

Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."

Bartender: "You're kidding, you lost an eye just from bird crap?"

Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook."

********************************************

Dave

 

[DaveNV]

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido
would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language ..
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where's the money?”
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about" The Godfather pulls
out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I’ll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

**********************

Dave

 

[Krteczech]

 

[DaveNV]

Dave

 

[clifffaith]

That is sadly so true. I am plagued with migraines and rarely do my good intentions manifest in activity.

Vitamin B2. Two 100 mg pills twice a day, in addition to whatever your doctor is prescribing. My lifesaver for 30+ years.