Stay At Home Humor

[Ken555]

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[RX8]

 

[Jan M.]

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine Lessons, Day 24:

Dave

 

[clifffaith]

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I read this while shoving a cannoli into my mouth, shortly followed by a raspberry jam cookie. SIGH.

 

[VacationForever]

I read this while shoving a cannoli into my mouth, shortly followed by a raspberry jam cookie. SIGH.

Are you sure you are not my mirror image?

 

[Ken555]

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[PamMo]

I LOVE this thread - thanks to all of you for posting!!! It's become my "must read" TUG content, and never fails to make me laugh out loud. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

[isisdave]

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[DaveNV]

I LOVE this thread - thanks to all of you for posting!!! It's become my "must read" TUG content, and never fails to make me laugh out loud. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Since I can't fix any of this mess, I'm glad to do my part of bringing a chuckle to those who can seriously use it right now. (And I apologize if some of the words are a bit off-color. It's all in the name of comic art. )

Dave

 

[Karen G]

Some family fun:

 

[Bucky]

Read one of my neighbors posts on Nextdoor this morning and thought I would share.

”Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. (My buddy Jeff). The other half will come out with a drinking problem. (Me) I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe. (Both) I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. (Both) Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room (Me) or The Bathroom (My buddy Jeff) PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. (Jeff). Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. (Me) Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. (Some of you guys) I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came home, told my cat and we both laughed a lot. So, after this quarantine … will the producers of ‘My 600 Pound Life’ just find me or do I find them? (Walmart shoppers) Quarantine Day 5: I went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. Mine says closed for business 5 days a week and the other 2 days, the food tastes like sht.. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. (Not mine. Rings are still there) Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. (Jeff) I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage and check the mailbox. What should I wear? (My X, Rita) I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom. (Me) Classified Ad: Single man without toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. (Me) Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”. I’m offended. (Jeff) Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under. (Almost Everyone) Please don't report me to the Nextdoor police. They will suspend me for life.... But maybe Hollywood will make a new TV show about it and I'll get rich?”

 

[Gypsy65]

 

[Talent312]

Read one of my neighbors posts on Nextdoor this morning and thought I would share...

Sorry, I refuse to read such a big blob of letters.
Your neighbor needs to use paragraphs.

 

[Gypsy65]

 

[Gypsy65]

 

[Makai Guy]

Sorry, I refuse to read such a big blob of letters.
Your neighbor needs to use paragraphs.

They were mostly snippets of stuff we've had posted here already anyway.

 

[DaveNV]

Quarantine Day 6 Million:

Dave

 

[Gypsy65]

 

[Panina]

 

[Panina]

Read one of my neighbors posts on Nextdoor this morning and thought I would share.

”Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. (My buddy Jeff). The other half will come out with a drinking problem. (Me) I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe. (Both) I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. (Both) Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room (Me) or The Bathroom (My buddy Jeff) PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. (Jeff). Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. (Me) Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. (Some of you guys) I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came home, told my cat and we both laughed a lot. So, after this quarantine … will the producers of ‘My 600 Pound Life’ just find me or do I find them? (Walmart shoppers) Quarantine Day 5: I went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. Mine says closed for business 5 days a week and the other 2 days, the food tastes like sht.. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. (Not mine. Rings are still there) Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. (Jeff) I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage and check the mailbox. What should I wear? (My X, Rita) I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom. (Me) Classified Ad: Single man without toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. (Me) Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”. I’m offended. (Jeff) Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under. (Almost Everyone) Please don't report me to the Nextdoor police. They will suspend me for life.... But maybe Hollywood will make a new TV show about it and I'll get rich?”

I wonder if you live my area, as I saw it too or maybe circulating around

 

[clifffaith]

Sorry, I refuse to read such a big blob of letters.
Your neighbor needs to use paragraphs.

So what else is on your schedule today that you don't have time to read a wall of words?

 

[PrairieGirl]

 

[PrairieGirl]

 

[PrairieGirl]