Separation/Divorce & Timesharing

[Susie]

Thought it would never happen to me, but my husband and I are separated after 18 years.

Right now I am handling everything including the maintenance fees for the 3 timeshares we own. The good thing is that I get to use all the exchanges cause I'm paying the fees.

Have any of you ever planned an exchange ALONE? I do have many friends, but it seems no one ever commits to coming with me and it is very frustrating. Yet I'm not sure if I could do it alone

I would love to hear stories on how you handled this.
Thanks

 

[nazclk]

Going it alone

A lot of people have talked about this on Trip Advisor on the cabo forum. A lot of people go it alone and meet up with people at restaurants and around the pools. I have done it alone, and had a fun time.

 

[Rose Pink]

I am not separated or divorced but when the children were young, I would go to our timeshare alone (it was only about 40 minutes from our house) to get caught up on things like sewing Christmas gifts, scrapbooking and just getting some uninterrupted me time.

 

[Linda74]

While I am not divorced, I am recently widowed and like you own three timeshares....it seems my choices are to take my adult children, friends or go alone....My children and friends all work long hours and in this economy aren't too thrilled to take time off (am taking son and his wife to Cabo in July)...but I have considered using them alone....I hate paying MF and having it go to waste....or perhaps renting them...but two of the three are in RCI points....
Life can sure throw you some curves......

 

[Luanne]

When my first husband and I split I planned several timeshare visits alone to Hawaii. However, after planning them I usually had someone end up going with me. If I hadn't found a friend to go along I would have been fine traveling alone.

 

[geekette]

I'm married and have made several trips alone. I rather like it, as I don't have to consult with anyone as to what's next.

It can be difficult for people to commit to a trip, so I say, Plan your vacation, put out some invites, but plan it like you are going alone, cuz you maybe are. Don't concern yourself with the other people, plan YOUR trip. If you have company, great!

"On Tuesday I wanted to go see the _______ and thought that Wednesday looks like perfect weather for ______"

 

[laura1957]

I would be completely comfortable going to my home resort alone, or somewhere that I knew quite a bilt about, or knew someone in the area. I would be much more selective in choosing locations that I knew absolutely nothing about previously - but I would learn everything I could about the resort/location and go and enjoy myself anyway.

 

[falmouth3]

While I've never vacationed alone, I have traveled quite a bit for work and I enjoy spending the evenings just doing whatever I want to do. I don't mind eating alone at a restaurant but sometimes I would sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with other individuals who are also eating by themselves.

Once you've done it the first time, I'm sure you'll find it much easier to do it again. The first one is always the hardest. Good luck and best wishes for this new stage in life.

Sue

 

[chellej]

Right now DH & I can't travel together because my Dad lives with us and someone has to be here with him. So we have vacationed alone for a number of years. I have only gone by myself once - to St Thomas. While waiting for the rooms to get ready there were a number of folks hanging out at the pool bar and we all seemed to hit it off and spent the week doing things as a group. There were some singles, some friends traveling together, and a married couple. I think it is easier at a smaller resort as opposed to a mega resort.

I usually though travel with my DD and in one week I am going to Puerto Vallarta with a girl friend from work.

A while ago there were a group of tug ladies that organized and planned trips to various locations and met up at the resorts. Don't know if they still are doing it or not.

When you are planning a trip, I would post in the area forum (i.e. Mexico, hawaii etc) and see what tuggers will be in the area while you are there. Lots of floks here meet up that way.

 

[vacationhopeful]

Alone is more fun if you make of point of befriending everyone. I TS alone more than going with friends ... I even have acquired friends who reappear on those fixed week units.

I spent Thanksgiving dinner explaining that Key Lime Pie is not a traditional food to a family I had holiday dinner with from Scotland in Florida; drinking with several Navy guys during Fleet Week, a Royal Canadian Army officier, 24 yo GF barmaid/dj, 73 yo Ohio GF, and my new kaorka friends on the 40 wedding anniversity (SLC) during my birthday party week; NYE week celebrating my pool buddy's visit to the hospital was just dehydration after she collapsed ... that is just the past 6 months.

In the past several years, I have taken my 2 LAX nieces on separate trips to Las Vegas and Pompano Beach (Key West road trip) and 1 of my Baltimore nephews to Ft Lauderdale (his brother is coming w/me in late June). My sis did a week in Orlando/Daytona last Oct.

Definitely more fun than being home by myself ...

 

[Susie]

I would be completely comfortable going to my home resort alone, or somewhere that I knew quite a bilt about, or knew someone in the area. I would be much more selective in choosing locations that I knew absolutely nothing about previously - but I would learn everything I could about the resort/location and go and enjoy myself anyway.

My home resort is St. Maarten and I would feel fairly comfortable there...have even driven on the island alone when I was there with my husband...but to go to places I don't know..not sure about that. I love the Caribbean and know that some islands are safer than others.

 

[DeniseM]

There used to be a TUG group of lady travelers, I think...

 

[Htoo0]

That's what keeps the wife and I together- neither one of us wants to get stuck with the T/S! :ignore:

 

[pwrshift]

The timeshare world is very different from the single world IMO. Especially the aspect of booking your TS a year or so ahead of the trip when all your friends only plan holidays a week ahead. Book where you think you'd be comfortable 'alone' and when the date gets closer you might find a friend/family interested in taking a holiday with you...if not, don't make a big thing about it. Above all -- do holidays that won't bring back old memories.

In addition, most TS are very 'family' or at least 'couple' oriented. I found I liked the more 'urban' type of TS - such as Marriott Beachplace in Fort Lauderdale and Marriott Custom House in downtown Boston. That way, single is ok. But company is better. As a single parent for more years than I can count, once my kids left the nest I found they seemed to feel TS holidays with the 'old man' was a thing of the past as they had their own worlds to explore. And friends sometimes think they are doing you a favour by going with you, instead of getting excited about the adventure. Strange...they seldom think about 'sharing' in the cost of the accommodations...almost like they think you get it free.

After a while I decided to use my Marriott Rewards and see the world I missed while raising my kids ... took off for London and had a great time sightseeing and pub crawling. Then Paris. Rome was incredible. Then back again. And again.

One of my daughters is single and just got back from a Rick Steves tour in Barcelona and Madrid (paid a small supplement for a unshared room). Last year she went on the Rome tour. both times she had a great time mixing with 25 other people (mostly Americans) and still communicates with friends she made. So, perhaps a consideration could be to 'rent' your TS on Ebay, etc., and use the money to finance a trip to ancient new places. Above all, have fun.

Here's a travel BBS where a lot of the people are singles.
http://slowtalk.com/groupee/

Rick Steves tours: http://tours.ricksteves.com/tours09/

Brian

 

[Pat H]

There used to be a TUG group of lady travelers, I think...

There still is. I do not like going on vacation alone. In fact I never have. I don't mind traveling alone to get there but I really don't like dining alone. The majority of my timeshare vacations over the last 5 yrs have been with members of the LOV (Ladies on Vacation) group. 4 of us went to Acapulco in Jan and the same 4 are going to Nuevo Vallarta next Feb. A couple of years ago a group of 11 went to Paris.

Most of us are middle aged and older. Some are single and others are married with spouses who don't like to travel.

The group is by invitation only for obvious reasons.

 

[ownsmany]

I'm married and usually travel with my young kids alone. DH doesn't like to travel. Recently I went to Vegas - alone. I went to a concert there. There were some people I was meeting there. I liked traveling alone. It felt a little strange at first, but it is nice to come and go when you want, and do what you want.

As others said, plan the trip you want. Invite a few friends, and go alone if it comes to that.

 

[Timeshare Von]

Best wishes to you Susie as you begin a new phase of your life. WHile I'm certain there will be changes and differences, it doesn't have to be all bad.

I bought my first timeshare before hubby #1. I enjoyed it a lot with friends, family and even alone. Once married we enjoyed using it as a couple. A few years later, I was divorced and again traveling w/o a significant other.

Hubby #2 and I now have four T/S's and we use some together, I do some alone or with family and/or friends . . . even have used them for work related business travel.

I am careful about who I ask/invite to travel with me . . . always with the thought that they could bail out and leave me traveling alone (which btw, has never been an issue for me). Not all of my friends can afford the type of places I like to go but I have been fortunate to have a couple of close girlfriends willing to commit to Hawaii. I know, rough break. Next spring my two sisters and I are planning a spring break to Hawaii. I fully expect both will follow-through, but if not, I'll go it alone.

After a while, you'll learn who not to bother with. I have one person who I used to consider a very close friend. After half a dozen invites and declines for an assortment of reason, I've stopped asking. Fact is, she will never make the effort to go which includes having her kids stay a week with her schmuck of an ex, or a family member.

I would not let being divorced keep you from using it. Afterall it doesn't have to mean being alone . . . only being without him.

 

[bogey21]

I'm 74 and divorced and always travel alone. I find that when I just start talking to people, things happen and time flies. I wouldn't have it any other way.

George

 

[laura1957]

My home resort is St. Maarten and I would feel fairly comfortable there...have even driven on the island alone when I was there with my husband...but to go to places I don't know..not sure about that. I love the Caribbean and know that some islands are safer than others.

I research everywhere we go very much, but if going alone I would really research the area and everything much more than I already do!! Just have something very flexible planned each day so you are not sitting around by yourself. BUT make sure to leave some time each morning/evening to stay and speak to the other people right there - there will probably be someone who has a husband playing golf all day, or fishing, or who would rather lay around all day at the pool and would be more than happy to not "have" to accompany his wife sightseeing or shopping

 

[Susie]

Thanks everyone. You have given me some confidence to venture out there by myself. I think it's dinnertime that has me worried. Sitting on the beach reading a book all day is something I enjoy doing alone.
Keep the stories coming. Thanks

 

[Rose Pink]

... I think it's dinnertime that has me worried. ...

You can always eat in your timeshare most of the week and venture out once or twice for dinner. Soon, you'll feel more comfortable and you may even meet some nice people to dine with.

 

[vacationhopeful]

If you are looking to "not eat alone for dinner", I find couples over 55 (and retired) will tolerate a single more so than the under 55 crowd. Look for the people who are young at heart, too.

Go to activities that the resort sponsors - Wine & Cheese tastings, theme dinners, and even the orientation sessions on Sunday or Monday mornings. People who are socialable DO THINGS. Be the Chatty Cathy, approach people, and when they ask who you are with, happily say you are travelling alone (w/o any excuses) as though that is the most natural way to vacation. People on vacation want to have a fun time - look and act like a fun person who other people want to hangout with.

I have been to so many orientation sessions at different resorts in South Florida that the vendors know my name and greet me. One karoke artist told me her schedule during one vacation and new-found friends & I travelled to another resort the next night (the 2nd night was more fun, with way more people).

And those nights when it looks like I am eating alone, I will order dinner at the bar instead of the dining room, get takeout from a better restaurant, or eat at the almost empty place to talk with the staff (one owner is now always happy to see me and has treated me to complimentary dessert some of the time). I am never lonely.

 

[nightnurse613]

Not divorced, separated or widowed but there is a story why I am a NIGHTNURSE. My husband was in the military for 20 years but worked almost exclusively during the day. I worked at night. We wound up with a half dozen kids (don't ask me how! ). I was home with them during the day he had them at night (breastfeeding was a whole new challenge). We could rarely go on vacation together so I went to Italy, he went to Russia. He's retired now (notice who is still working?) but I take short vacations in the Phoenix Scottsdale Sedona area just to get away. That's why we love points. Of course, he does too. Tomorrow he's taking the boys to Marriott Canyon Villas for a couple of days so they can enjoy the lazy river and go boating at Bartlett Lake! I'll have the house to myself until later in the week when I join them and they'll come home. I would never hesitate to timeshare alone although, I'll admit I enjoy when my daughter, sister, mother or even my husband or children can join me once I've settled in. Do it Girl! As a side note, just got back from a cruise and guess who was seated at my table-three single parents with their kids-my son just graduated from high school so him and I went on a cruise as a graduation present. We had a great time!

 

[Susie]

Go to activities that the resort sponsors - Wine & Cheese tastings, theme dinners, and even the orientation sessions on Sunday or Monday mornings. People who are socialable DO THINGS.

And those nights when it looks like I am eating alone, I will order dinner at the bar instead of the dining room

Oh my, I LOVE these two suggestions above. I'm much of a drinker but never thought of ordering dinner at the bar!

 

[Susie]

To nightnurse,

I also have two S. African properties that I change into points so I have plenty of leftover points, so maybe I'll try a long weekend...I live in New York City and should have a problem finding something in the tri-state area.

Susie