Others will help you fine an alternative for the vacation.
I'm still stuck on making the trip work. Is there a way to sit with your daughter and have her go through the links to the properties and read the reviews. Give her the choice to like it or not. Involve her in the decision of whether this is something your family could look back on after she heads off to college. Don't try to sell it to her. Remember, as the owners we have searched the properties and built expectations in our minds which feed our want to go. Our friends even feed our plans to try what they have tried. Let her have the same opportunity.
What will she do with dear ol' Mom & Pop? Ask her. Ask her what type of freedom she'd like at the resort. Let her call or email the activities center manager and ask what there would be for her. What would be the possibilities of arranged activities she can join with other teens. Maybe the manager will even schedule a time to give her a tour for what it takes to be an activities employee. All good for those jobs during college. Visit a college campus on HI. Why not?
Definitely go on a snorkel trip on a catamaran. We laid on the net with our kids for superman's. That's when the catamaran goes over the waves and everyone becomes airborne.
Find out about putt putt golf and corn hole. Create a friendly challenge between the 3 of you. Show her possible luaus and have her research the one she'd like to experience.
Looking for ways to break the tension at restaurants? Pull out the zilch game while your waiting for the food. We would do that or the cards for Euchre. I don't care who thinks it's appropriate.
How about a day trip like Haleakula? We did that with our daughter. Laughed till we cried. It was suggested we go soon after arriving so the 4 a.m. pick up time was within our body time clock. We were up in the middle of the night putting on sunscreen. Jack was tired and put on too much. He was layered in white. It broke the "up in the middle of the night tension". We tell the story over and over.
All in jammies on the sofa with the movie of her choice? Don't forget the popcorn. How about the evening swim in a nearly empty pool so you can float and look at the stars.
You've got the idea. Involve her. This is an "unknown". Teens gravitate towards their peeps and their comfort zones. Help her adventure into new territory where she visits someplace new and has opportunity to make her own new friends during her free time. My daughter loved the "busy" pool at OP. We loved the quiet one. She was connected by walkie talkie and then by phone.
Oh and if you do take friends. . .do make a contract. I did this after a disastrous week with a middle schooler. We had taken her the year before and it was good. Not so the next year. Daughter helped edit the contract when I was done. Other parents said it was common sense. It served us well after. Everything is out on the table beforehand. When we asked the other kid I would first tell the parent we'd like to invite their daughter on vacation with us but before they answered we'd like them to look this over and discuss it at home. As the girls aged we didn't expect them to be together 24/7. Our daughter doesn't like to be "shadowed" constantly. She realized this and looked for friends who were equally independent. They did most things together but if one wanted to nap while the other went to the gym there was no issue. Of course, we didn't have to worry about kids who would go off into troubling ventures. Here's ours:
VACATION BEHAVIOR CONTRACT
This vacation is meant to be fun for everyone. With that in mind, the following is a Contract of Behavior drawn up to help promote a wonderful trip for everyone. Please study the following and be prepared to follow these guidelines with a minimum of direction.
1. Vacationers will rotate positions in the car on a regular basis. This will allow the drivers rest time and give the driver a fresh co-pilot. The co-pilot will stay alert to be company for the driver.
2. Girls will be allowed one suitcase for clothes, shoes and toiletries and one backpack for CD players, books, etc. Pack light with the understanding we will be able to do laundry regularly.
3. Pack bathing suit, necessary toiletries and outfit for second day of driving on top of suitcase so entire suitcase does not have to be dismembered to get to them. Bring large zip lock bag for wet bathing suit.
4. Girls should look at AAA book for attractions along the way that interest them. If we have time and are in that area at times of operation we will consider their requests.
5. Everyone has a say about where we eat. Let your request be known. Everyone also has a responsibility of being considerate and accommodating as to where we actually do eat. Don’t despair, if you don’t get your preference the first time we may be able to fulfill it the next.
6. Upon all departures and arrivals, all vacationers will help with any loading and unloading of the car.
1. As stated above, all vacationers will help with the unloading of the car.
2. Suitcases will be emptied and clothing, shoes, backpacks and toiletries will be put away in the appropriate places.
3. All vacationers will help with the selection and purchase of groceries. Everyone can give reasonable requests for items they would like to have for the week. After grocery shopping everyone will help with the unloading of these groceries and putting them away.
1. Upon arrival all vacationers will work together to plan activities for the week. Girls should look at brochures available in the lobby for things that interest them. Also, the concierge usually has a list of activities at or near the resort. This will be a tentative plan for the week and may have to be modified because of something unforeseen such as bad weather.
2. Cooperation from all vacationers will be necessary to plan activities. Some activities may be ones that interest the adults more and some may be ones more geared to the teens. Everyone needs to be conscious of making this a good vacation for the others as well as themselves.
3. Whenever the vacationers are going out together the adults will give a “time of departure.” Getting ready to go will have to fit in the timeframe given. The above activities plan will help everyone to know when to get busy getting ready.
4. Sunscreen will be used whenever going outside during the day. Girls will help each other make sure their backs are well covered. Sunscreen will be put on in areas without upholstery (like the bathroom). Everyone will be considerate of the furnishings with regard to sunscreen.
1. Everyone will help to keep the unit neat. If a blanket is used while watching TV please fold it and put it neatly on the end of the sofa when finished. Please put shoes that are necessary for current outfit in room or front hall if there is a place there that accommodates them. All clothing should be in bedrooms.
2. Beds will be made right after breakfast unless we are going someplace in the morning. Then they will be made before breakfast.
3. Clothing should be put in the laundry room if dirty and wanted again or away in drawers or closet. If we are going someplace in the morning the clothes to be worn are to be put together the night before. If ironing is necessary this should also be done the night before.
4. As stated above, clothes for church on Sunday will be gotten ready the night before.
5. Towels will be hung up after bathing or showers. Curling irons will be unplugged before leaving the unit. Toiletries will be kept neat to make the bathroom enjoyable for everyone using it.
1. Whenever there is a communal meal in the unit all vacationers will come to the kitchen to see how they can help with the preparation, serving and cleaning up afterwards. Everyone will look for ways to help.
2. If there is no communal breakfast, lunch or dinner planned, everyone will be responsible for getting themselves something to eat and cleaning up after.
3. All dirty dishes (except pots & pans) are to be scraped, rinsed if necessary and put in the dishwasher by the person who used it. Both the parents and teens will share unloading the dishwasher and putting the dishes away.
4. Teens will be allowed to prepare (cook) a meal or treat.
5. Restaurant decisions will be made with input from all vacationers. As with the restaurants chosen during traveling the choice will be determined as to what is best for everyone going.
1. 10:00 a.m. is sleeping in. Napping after that may be done by the pool after breakfast and if we don’t have a morning activity planned.
2. The above may be modified if we have an activity planned for the morning.
3. A “P.J.’s till noon” day will be considered as one of the morning activities. We will see how many of these the vacation will accommodate. This item will not overrule # 1 on a regular basis.
1. Cooperation from all vacationers will be necessary to make this an enjoyable trip for everyone.
2. Any disagreements will be settled in a reasonable discussion.
3. Girls will be companions for each other and will accompany each other to pool, hotel, etc.
4. The parents will treat both girls as they would their own children and teens will treat parents as their own.
5. If something would not be respectful to do or say than don’t do or say it.
6. Be prepared to apologize if necessary. Both teens and parents will be prepared to do this. Blame will not be held.
7. Parents and teens will respect each other’s space and privacy.
8. Remember, each vacationer should be looking to make this a good vacation for the others.