Jim,
Okay, so 4 year old twins (we have a 4 year old son; what a FUN age) and a 13 year old. Both resorts are beautiful and we enjoy each one for certain reasons. Shadow Ridge has a pool area that ROCKS! It has a very large main family pool area with a cool water slide. Appropriate for all the kids (and adults have fun too). Kiddie pool and small water park area (different features squiriting out water, pretty fun and really cools you off when it's super hot). Some really pretty views of the golf course from rooms but you could also end up looking at new construction. There is a poolside cafe and nice bar. Another pool is an adults only pool which is very nice and has cabanas. Both pool areas have plenty of shade and misters above the shade canopies. There is one nice restaurant on-site and a little convenience market at the main clubhouse building. Other than this, you need to drive for other entertainment (altough not far). Also onsite is an activities center called the MAZE. The kids would probably enjoy some of the indoor activities there, including movie night (my son loved this even though our villa would have been more comfortable! ). The landscape theme at Shadow Ridge is more desert and they do a beautiful job with the palm trees and plants. The 2 bedroom units are 1250 sq. feet. and the lock-off room has a king bed and a queen sofa bed.
DSV property is connected to the JW Marriott resort. Since this is a mature property, the landscaping is also mature, which is very pretty, and it's very green, with lots of grass and palm trees. Since we live in the desert, this is a real attraction for us.
Because of the connection with the JW (the timeshare property is next door), you have a lot of amenities at your disposal. There is a shuttle that takes guests to the resort 2 to 3 times an hour (yes, it has A/C) which makes it very convenient. There are fine restaurants, Spa, shops, putting green area (very cute and free to guests), boat ride around the property (free rides from 3-5 pm everyday) and the pro shop for golf. If you are staying in DSV I then you have full access to the pools and day use privilieges at the Spa (a $45 value pp), which is a very nice bonus. They have a kids club at the JW where you can check the kids into for an hour or two and they have fun activities to do while mom and dad chill by the pool in peace. I'd imagine DSV I guests can also use this privilege. The main pool area (at DSV) is very nice, it just doesn't have the waterslide, water park or as much shade as SR. But it meets our needs just fine so we are happy there. Besides, since we own at SR, we have day use privileges there, so we kinda have the best of both worlds when we stay at DSV. My husband and I usually manage to find coverage for the kids one night and take the shuttle to the hotel for a nice evening of cocktails and dinner. This is suuuuuch a treat.
Two differences between DSV I & II to consider are the design of the lock-offs and proximity to the main pool area. The lock-off suite in DSV I has two double beds. The lock-off in DSV II has a king bed and a queen sleeper sofa. Also, the lock-off in DSV I is more separate from the main one bedroom unit. There is an actual foryer that you would have to go through and then unlock the other bedroom door to access the kids. Personally, with little kids, I'd far prefer DSV II for this factor alone. I feel very accessible to my kids in DSV II and in DSV I they would practically be in another unit. You can view the room layouts at marriott.com but also at redweek.com. DSV II units, for the most part are closer to the Palmeras pool area. You may still have to drive or take the shuttle depending on where your villa is. If you go to DSV II, you DO NOT want to stay in Jasmine Court. This is another part of the property that is basically "off-site". GReat for adults who want seclusion or quiet, but not for families.
BTW, the lock-off at SR is also very accessible for the kids. Great layout in these units also. The kitchen and master suite is not as big, but it's very nice.
I think you'd be happiest at either DSV II or SR. Just depends on what "amenities" are most important to you! Best of luck on your wonderful family vacation.
Feel free to send me a PM if you any specific questions.
Cheers,
-Janna