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Not to be Morbid

chellej

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At breakfast this morning, DH said...Not to be morbid but we should really update our wills. I hate to say it but he is right. If you get this thing, you could be gone in a matter of days. we will be updating ours and making sure everything is in order just in case the worst happens.

Are you prepared?
 

DaveNV

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Not morbid, but certainly practical. Especially right now.

Thanks for the reminder. :thumbup:

Dave
 

Luanne

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Our trust and wills are up to date. We did that a few years ago. But what dh and I need to do is sit down make lists of all of our accounts, passwords, where to find things, etc. For example, I have the keys to our safe deposit boxes. I doubt anyone else knows where there are.
 

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We made sure all our financial account information was in our shared password manager vault, so either can get to them if need be. We've talked about funeral arrangements, but only generally. I also asked my Mom to update her Medical and Financial POAs with her wishes, and she has done that.
 

DaveNV

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Our trust and wills are up to date. We did that a few years ago. But what dh and I need to do is sit down make lists of all of our accounts, passwords, where to find things, etc. For example, I have the keys to our safe deposit boxes. I doubt anyone else knows where there are.


My Dad and Stepmother lived in another state in retirement, and didn't have a lot of visitors. They made a point of having a locked fireproof box kept behind the front door of their house. It contained their wills, bank account information, and whatever else someone would need to know. I was Executor of their affairs, and they made sure I knew that "If anything happens to us, grab that box!" My Stepmother passed before my Dad, so my services weren't needed. But a year later my Dad passed quite suddenly. That box came in very handy. It contained everything I needed to know. Thanks, Dad!

Dave
 

Luanne

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My Dad and Stepmother lived in another state in retirement, and didn't have a lot of visitors. They made a point of having a locked fireproof box kept behind the front door of their house. It contained their wills, bank account information, and whatever else someone would need to know. I was Executor of their affairs, and they made sure I knew that "If anything happens to us, grab that box!" My Stepmother passed before my Dad, so my services weren't needed. But a year later my Dad passed quite suddenly. That box came in very handy. It contained everything I needed to know. Thanks, Dad!

Dave
My dad passed away around 25 years ago. He was VERY organized (the accountant mind I like to call it). Mom, my sister and I went through all of his stuff very easily. Of course that was before internet, all of the online accounts, etc. But my dad, even though he wasn't a packrat, had kept a lot of information. He kept the bills of lading for the furniture and possessions my parents had shipped back from Japan in 1950. I have no idea why or what he thought he'd do with those.
 

DaveNV

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He kept the bills of lading for the furniture and possessions my parents had shipped back from Japan in 1950. I have no idea why or what he thought he'd do with those.

My Mom did that. She held onto EVERYthing. I was like, "WHY??" I have her things stacked in my garage, waiting for the day my sister and I will finally have the energy to try going through things. Oh yeah, Mom passed in 1996... :rolleyes:

Dave
 

chellej

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My Mom did that. She held onto EVERYthing. I was like, "WHY??" I have her things stacked in my garage, waiting for the day my sister and I will finally have the energy to try going through things. Oh yeah, Mom passed in 1996... :rolleyes:

Dave
I think you can just toss those at this point..:cool:....on the other hand, you may find some surprises...My mom had some naked pinup photos she had made for my dad...was probably in the 40's. Not sure how she got those printed back then but it was certainly a surprise I WASN'T EXPECTING
 

vacationtime1

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When you create that list of instructions for your executors (bank accounts, etc.), add a list of your timeshares with your thoughts on their (reasonable) values and how to dispose of them. Put in enough detail that they can describe what you own to a broker or run an ad. It is extremely unlikely that your executors will know as much about this as you do; you can help them.
 

turkel

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I think you can just toss those at this point..:cool:....on the other hand, you may find some surprises...My mom had some naked pinup photos she had made for my dad...was probably in the 40's. Not sure how she got those printed back then but it was certainly a surprise I WASN'T EXPECTING
Oh my!

Thanks for giving me a great laugh till you cry moment!
 

clifffaith

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Not morbid at all. I said to Cliff a week ago, then reminded him yesterday when the subject of if one of us gets sick that person is banished to the guest house, if I die get our will updated to remove my sister ASAP (she would then be my parents's sole heir since my brother died five years ago). She has already been relegated to having a bank make sure she's not on the street while they also try to safeguard the balance of our estate for charity, but no need to have her mentioned at all if Cliff becomes my survivor.
 

bbodb1

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My dad passed away around 25 years ago. He was VERY organized (the accountant mind I like to call it). Mom, my sister and I went through all of his stuff very easily. Of course that was before internet, all of the online accounts, etc. But my dad, even though he wasn't a packrat, had kept a lot of information. He kept the bills of lading for the furniture and possessions my parents had shipped back from Japan in 1950. I have no idea why or what he thought he'd do with those.
Did you hold on to those bills Luanne - they document a way of life and a way of moving that is.not the same these days. I would think there could be some museum that might collect documents from bygone days.
 

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I think you can just toss those at this point..:cool:....on the other hand, you may find some surprises...My mom had some naked pinup photos she had made for my dad...was probably in the 40's. Not sure how she got those printed back then but it was certainly a surprise I WASN'T EXPECTING
Flashback trigger....

After Dad died and Mom was going to move, I was going through papers, etc., and found nudies that my grandfather made of my grandmother well earlier than the 40s. They were fuzzy b&w, I didn't at first know what I was looking at. Grandma!? YIKES.
 

DaveNV

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I think you can just toss those at this point..:cool:....on the other hand, you may find some surprises...My mom had some naked pinup photos she had made for my dad...was probably in the 40's. Not sure how she got those printed back then but it was certainly a surprise I WASN'T EXPECTING

That's the sort of things in my Mom's pile of boxes, too. (Well, except for the pinup shots, but who knows? Mom was known to be quite a "good sport" back in the day. :O) Old photos, love letters, baby pictures, whatever. She kept everything that was meaningful to her - but not so much to anyone else left alive. My generation is the oldest one left, except for one uncle with Alzheimers, and another who is barely able to communicate. The rest are all gone. We figure we're going to sort things, send boxes of specific things to select cousins, and donate or toss the rest. It's past time. :)

Dave
 

Passepartout

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Great minds working together. DW and I had this conversation last night. I had sat down and written a 'Just in case' letter a few days ago where I wrote down usernames, passwords, where to find, . . . I expect to add to it over time, but with this damn CV19, one spouse can go suddenly to enforced quarantine, the other not allowed there, and one expires without even an I Love You. It's important to dot those 'I's, and cross those 'T's.

Jim

PS. I suggested DW advertise her family planning services. She isn't into having people come to her office.
 

Luanne

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Did you hold on to those bills Luanne - they document a way of life and a way of moving that is.not the same these days. I would think there could be some museum that might collect documents from bygone days.
Since Mom was still alive at that time she kept everything of Dad's that she wanted. I think she may have reached out to someone (not sure who) to see if there was any interest in them.
 

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Our last will was nine years ago when my wife and I took our first trip without the kids to Paris and Nice. It was the "make your own will kit" and I wrote it up the day before we left. My wife said we couldn't go on the trip until it was completed in case something happened.

Probably time to redo them...
 

DaveNV

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PS. I suggested DW advertise her family planning services. She isn't into having people come to her office.

Not a bad idea. I heard about someone in the next county over from mine who had three family members die from Covid-19 last week. Can you imagine how awful that would be?
 

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Be sure that for insurance accounts or IRAs, etc., that your primary and contingency beneficiaries are in place. At least one of those should be someone not in your household. You can change it later, after this stuff, hopefully.
 

VacationForever

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Not a bad idea. I heard about someone in the next county over from mine who had three family members die from Covid-19 last week. Can you imagine how awful that would be?
I swear that there is a genetic element as to whether one gets more sick than others. Do you remember the case of the mother who died from COVID-19 did not know that 2 of her adult children also just died of COVID-19 before her? Subsequently another 1 or 2 of her surviving children also died from COVID-19.

I have been particularly curious about COVID-19's effects on people with different genetic make-up. With SARS, it was found people who had genes from Southern China, i.e. Canton and Shanghai were more likely to die than those from Northern China and non-Chinese.

Time will tell.
 

VacationForever

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At breakfast this morning, DH said...Not to be morbid but we should really update our wills. I hate to say it but he is right. If you get this thing, you could be gone in a matter of days. we will be updating ours and making sure everything is in order just in case the worst happens.

Are you prepared?


We had that on our list for this month and like most things we now can't do it I assume because we would need to meet with an atty here in our new state. Nothing has really changed in terms of the current will except our home address. But for my husband's power of atty, after me his secondary is down as his sister, who passed away a long time ago. He wants to replace her name with my son's.

I have my brother as my secondary which is ok for now but I also want to change it to my son.

My life insurance is good for another year. I have been trying to keep up with my Letter of Instruction for my son but I can't even imagine how he will remember everything of what to do here or where to find everything. I also need to give him a name of the attorney that we end up using.

Again, life is on hold.
 

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My will is about 3 years old but it is probably not needed. Everything I own except my 2011 Mazda3 is in cash. All is in accounts JTWROS with my kids and ex-wife. Legally they co-own them now. Practically they will own them free and clear without probate upon my death. Kids and ex know where to find my Life Insurance Policies...

As far as the Mazda I left its signed title with instructions to give it to our local Kars for Kids...

George
 
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