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Need Prayers and Help DH Very Ill

I've been a critical care RN for >20 yrs. The reason a breathing tube can only be in place for 10 or so days is because to make a seal, the tube has a balloon that puts pressure on vocal cords and that eventually cut off blood supply, causing permanent damage.

There is no wrong answer about what to do. There's a best answer. Between prayer and your history with your DH, that answer will come.

Ecclesiastes was written by the wisest person in the world about the meaning of life. His answer, after a long search: life is fleeting and meaningless, a blowing in the wind. Knowing that, the meaning of life is God, Spouse, and work that fulfills you.

Those things provide meaning. You are the meaning to his life. As should be. And, he yours. Those kinds of bonds don't break. They are who we are now and who we shall be.

You'll be able to do what you need to do when it's time because it's necessary and because it's your bond to carry and keep, whether here or for there.

Take some time in a sad time and smile about the time you've had. Relate to him a few, "remember when....."

You can be sad and keep your chin up. You can be broken and push through. You can bear what must be borne. You must and so, you can.

Prayers to you for his strength, and yours.
 
So sorry to hear this Suzanne! What a difficult position to be in. I will pray for strength for you.
 
:(So very sorry about your husband. I worked in Home Health Care (along with Hospice) for most of my life and it is never easy for families when it comes to this. I went through it with my mother and her cancer. Her wish was not to be kept on any machines, so we brought Hospice in and kept her as comfortable and pain free as possible until she passed.

This is a decision only you can make. Look deep inside and seek counsel if you you can- a pastor or rabbi, close family members.

Prayers for you and your husband go out today. May you find strength and be at peace.
 
Suzanne:

First, Hugs and warm thoughts and strength to you. This is a tough point in your life, but a very important one.

Second, we have faced a similar situation. It was not easy. But, the support, peace, care and love found in the Hospice center convinced us that we carried-out my MIL's wishes approprpiately and did the right thing. A Hospice center provides the warm and loving environment that would hope for when my time comes.

Look in your heart and you'll see the answer. Love, honor and cherish.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
Prayers to you and your spouse. Letting go is not easy. Mt mother, who is still mourning the loss of my father 14 years ago, always tells me she was able to let go when she determined who she was keeping him alive for. Fit her comfort or for his benefit. She even feels strongly that he held on in the coma until she came to terns with everything and whispered to him that it was ok, she didn't want him to go but she would be ok and that once she told him that, he took his final breath.

Hugs.
 
Last year my husband was in the end stages of brain cancer. It became difficult for him to swallow. The hospital advised me the next stage was a feeding tube. Knowing that my husband did not want to be kept alive in this manner I said no. I then began to imagine some terrible thoughts about him feeling 'hungry' in his last days. Looking back now I can't even remember his last meal -- probably because we didn't know it was his last at the time. He passed peacefully a few days later. To God be the Glory.
 
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your husband.

I'm so sorry.

May you find peace during this difficult time.

I hope those that have shared their personal experiences will provide you with the strength and direction to move forward with what is best for your dear husband and you.
 
Thank you all for all your prayers and support. I spoke with the ICU doctor today and he said that they are slowly lowering the oxygen and will try to wake him up to see how much if any he can breathe on hos own. He also said that the lungs do not appear to be recovering very much. The Xrays are showing the infection is still present and they are continuing the antibiotics. I asked what happens if he can't breathe on his on even for a few minutes. He said they would then continue the breathing tube and try again in a couple of days. At a point they will have to remove the tube. He also said he knew from past conversations with my DH prior to the vent, that he did not want to live on machines and knowing that he would suggest that I honor my DH's wishes.

Please continue to pray for us.

Suzanne
 
My prayers all with you and there is only one; who can answer your prayer. May peace be with you and your love one.
 
Prayers for you both, for comfort and strength in the coming difficult days.
 
Prayers

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers for all involved.
 
"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."

Even if his mind doesn't know you're there....his heart does.
I wish much strength and peace to you.
 
suzanne said:
Thank you all for all your prayers and support. I spoke with the ICU doctor today and he said that they are slowly lowering the oxygen and will try to wake him up to see how much if any he can breathe on hos own. He also said that the lungs do not appear to be recovering very much. The Xrays are showing the infection is still present and they are continuing the antibiotics. I asked what happens if he can't breathe on his on even for a few minutes. He said they would then continue the breathing tube and try again in a couple of days. At a point they will have to remove the tube. He also said he knew from past conversations with my DH prior to the vent, that he did not want to live on machines and knowing that he would suggest that I honor my DH's wishes.

Please continue to pray for us.

Suzanne
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It would be very helpful for you to meet with the Palliative Care Team at the hospital to discuss your options. You want to make sure your husband is comfortable during this time and that his wishes are followed. My thoughts are with you.
 
My prayers are with both of you. Keep talking to you DH about the beautiful memories you have shared. His soul and heart can hear you through your reassuring and loving voice. God give you the strength to let him go in peace when the time comes.
Donna D.
 
SOS8260456 said:
Prayers to you and your spouse. Letting go is not easy. Mt mother, who is still mourning the loss of my father 14 years ago, always tells me she was able to let go when she determined who she was keeping him alive for. Fit her comfort or for his benefit. She even feels strongly that he held on in the coma until she came to terns with everything and whispered to him that it was ok, she didn't want him to go but she would be ok and that once she told him that, he took his final breath.

Hugs.
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Suzanne, very sorry for this difficult time.
I do agree with the above, from our own experience with parents, and my friends with theirs, hearing is the last sense remaining.
My father had a syndrome which made his movement and even swallowing very difficult. He had a feeding tube for awhile and actually pulled it out. He was ready and at peace ...
Your husband will be too when he knows the family is all there for each other.
 
I am so very sorry to hear your devastating news. You and your dear husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Dori
 
Suzanne, you are in my prayers for love, strength, and grace to get you and your husband through this.
 
We have been through something similar twice with my two brother-in-laws. One was 47 and at the end of life of his terminal cancer. My sister-in-law decided to have him put on a ventilator. I don't think she was ready to handle it all and was in denial. He passed two days later.

My other brother-in-law (his brother/60) had a massive heart attack and my nephew gave him mouth to mouth until EMS arrived. He was also put on a ventilator. We all knew and were told immediately what the prognosis was. It took a month for my sister-in-law to take him off.

Another close family member was put on the trach tube and feeding tube after being on the ventilator for about a week or so. She passed days after.

Having said this - it is a tough decision, a personal one and yours. You know the whole situation first hand with your husband. Prayers for you and your family. Please find peace, comfort and strength while you go through this. I hope you have many loved ones with you. I trust everyone will respect your decision.
 
suzanne said:
Thank you all for all your prayers and support. I spoke with the ICU doctor today and he said that they are slowly lowering the oxygen and will try to wake him up to see how much if any he can breathe on hos own. He also said that the lungs do not appear to be recovering very much. The Xrays are showing the infection is still present and they are continuing the antibiotics. I asked what happens if he can't breathe on his on even for a few minutes. He said they would then continue the breathing tube and try again in a couple of days. At a point they will have to remove the tube. He also said he knew from past conversations with my DH prior to the vent, that he did not want to live on machines and knowing that he would suggest that I honor my DH's wishes.

Please continue to pray for us.

Suzanne
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You have been in my thoughts and prayers since you first posted about your DH. Take care of yourself during this time.
 
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