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Need Help? Do I need a lawyer?

We just got back from the hospital... It seems like our head got chopped off and running around. I called the lawyer society and asked for referral lawyer. Rushed to see a new lawyer. By 2:00pm, we are just exhausted and I yelled... No more lawyers -- we need to concentrate on my mom. We told our husbands to do reseach and figure out what to do. My sisters and I did a project management plan as who is doing what - so we don't running around and exhausted ourself. We still need to take care of Dad. He has a breakdown at the hospital today because doctor didn't remove the tube from my mom's month due to inflection. He seems so lost without Mom.

Thanks for all who reply.
 
I think that you are making a very good decision right now.

Just focus on your mothers recovery and your fathers need of support. When all is said and done, the last memory won't be about your legal concerns, it will be more about family and how you supported them in their time of need.

Best wishes and try to be at peace.
 
Presumably your parents' insurance company/companies will be responsible up to the limit of the policy/policies. You need a lawyer to be sure that the insurance company fulfills its obligations and to help you with the tons of paperwork etc. A good lawyer will also help you find various government and agency help and help you wade through the requirements and paperwork.

If the insurance company carries through with its obligation, then nobody is getting sued, which is why you probably do not need a lawyer who is going to take 20-30%. Your family's assets may well have to supplement the insurance payments, but losing 20-30% to this lawyer sounds ridiculous. If someone outside of the family was at fault, that would be a different situation - they wouldn't want to give up money to your mother's care. But why should your father lose some of his assets that could go to her care?

Look online or in the phone book for a listing for the bar association or some kind of legal referral, and go from there. Do not go for the big ads that promise to help with accidents and injuries - that'll get you right back in the liability and percent situation. Perhaps look for insurance law, or even general law? I'd talk to at least 2-3 lawyers in case there are different perspectives.

The first thing is to nullify the contract or whatever you signed with the first lawyer - most other lawyers should be able to help you with that.

After that is done, pay attention to your parents and family issues and let the rest wait a little while.
 
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I'm so sorry to hear about this - in a minute I'll send you a private message, please read. Meanwhile ...

You can have one lawyer deal with only the traffic ticket, and later you can decide who to hire to deal with everything else.

So the only urgency is to find someone who does traffic tickets there, and ask them to request a continuance on that. Hopefully that would be granted. IMO it would be wise to have an attorney handle that. Then you have some time and space to figure everything else out.
 
I have nothing to give as far as advice (do not know any legal advice), but I can give you prayer for you and your family in this difficult time. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalms 46:1

Dorene
 
We will pray for you and your family. I am not familiar with the Canadian legal system. However, as someone familiar with the American Legal System, this looks like ambulance chasing to me. Furthermore, as someone with experience as chaiman of a hospital department of surgery, I am deeply concerned about the relationship of the neurosurgeon and the attorney that he recommended.
 
Laurie said:
I'm so sorry to hear about this - in a minute I'll send you a private message, please read. Meanwhile ...

You can have one lawyer deal with only the traffic ticket, and later you can decide who to hire to deal with everything else.

So the only urgency is to find someone who does traffic tickets there, and ask them to request a continuance on that. Hopefully that would be granted. IMO it would be wise to have an attorney handle that. Then you have some time and space to figure everything else out.
Click to expand...

Not quite that simple, because if cases are not coordinated the filings and statements in one court case can impeach the other case.
 
I would recommend contacting the social worker and/or discharge coordinator in the hospital. They will know what government agencies are available to help both your dad right now and your mom after her discharge. I used to work in the medical system in T.O. and I know there are a lot of agencies available - you just need to know about them. There is help for counselling, meals, house cleaning, transportation, home care etc.
 
I am so sorry to read your post! My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
Updates

My mother passes away on Thursday 10/9. We are now arranging her funeral.
We are also moving my Dad out of his house into my sister house. We are selling all his stuffs. He no longer want to live in his house. Also, he is not capable of living in his house. 2 days ago, he almost burnt the house. He forgot that he was boiling water. My father aged so much in the last week.
I can't believe that 3 weeks ago, they were in my house in SF -- stop over from their China trip. They were so healthy and travelling everywhere last year. My memories will be all the trips that we make together especially thanks to timeshare that I am able to bring them along. Hawaii, Disney World, Cancun, and Las Vegas...
 
I am sorry to hear that.

I do wish you and your family a sense of peace as you go through this difficult time.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing away. You have had such a tremendous shock in the last week. May you find peace and comfort in the wonderful memories that you have. Take care of yourself, sounds like your dad is going to need some extra help to get thru this terrible time. May God comfort you.
 
I'm so very sorry to read this sad news. I'm glad you have such happy memories of trips together with your mom and dad, and I'm sure those memories will be a comfort to you in the future.
 
So sorry to hear this news. Wishing you and your family all the best in the future.
 
First of all- sorry for your loss.

Secondly- I would strongly suggest that you hold off on any permanent changes right now. You are in shock and, even more so, your Dad is reeling from injuries, guilt and loss right now. If he was competent and capable last month, he likely will be again.

Over the winter I suddenly lost my Dad and, to be honest, my mother's initial state of mind scared me. She acted fragile and confused whereas she was always as mentally competent as you and me. It took time for the shock to wear off and for her to be back to being sharp.

My Mom immediately moved in with us, so I am not saying that is a bad decision, but I am saying that you should hold off before making any permanent changes. I know the lawyer, etc., rec. not making anything final for at least a year to allow time to heal. For us, my Mom living with us is a good move- she lived a quarter of a mile away so was already entrenched in the community, never lived alone and at 81 why should she be lonely, has always had a mother-son relationship with my husband and we already had a master bedroom on the main level which could easily be made into hers. Even so, 10 months later and we still need to clean out the house and put it on the market.

Having the time to think about it and having it a mutual decision, rather than making her feel needy and dependent, I think has made a big difference in the healing process, although that has admittedly been very slow regardless. I know it has been important to her state of mind to feel she is here because she is family and for the company, not because she needs to be. If you erode your father's confidence and make him feel totally dependent, at this stage in his life he is likely never to recover and will be dependent.

You can probably tell from my rambling that we are still in the healing process. Please think about taking your time- for everyone's sake. It is way too soon to sell your father's stuff and you will likely get rid of things that, when your minds clear, you will regret. Take time to mourn, allow your father time to regain his sensibilities and, with a lot of love and some nurturing, he will likely get back his mental faculties and then, as a family, you can decide what living arrangements are best for all.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope and pray that you and your family can find some comfort and peace during these sad days. Just remember that you are still loved and appreciated. Give your dad an extra hug. My heart goes out to him.
 
I am sadened to hear of your mother's passing. Please allow yourself time to mourn and to adjust to your new situations before you make any important decisions. You have to allow the shock to wear off and your mind to adjust. Any important decisions made now may not be the ones make later. Don't rush into anything.
 
I am so deeply sorry for you and your family's loss. I'll pray for your father to get thru this. I lost my mother a few years ago around Christma. They came over for the holiday's and my mother became increasingly ill and after a month in the hospital here, she passed away. My father is legally blind from macular degeneration, so he moved in with my family. (I have the only 2 granddaughters) We decided to keep his house, which was a good move. He stays with us most of the year, but is able to go home during the spring and summer months. We live in MO and he lives in IN. Because of great neighbors and friends, he is able to do this. His vision is poor but he still can take care of himeself and his cat. Just can't read or see tv. But this independence keeps him going. If you are in a situation were you can wait on selling his home, please do. He might need some extra time with the family close by and definately should talk to a counselor for his grief. Please just don't rush into anything yet. Let friends help whenever they can and try to get some much needed rest.
 
I'm very sorry about your mother. Like others have suggest, I'd hold off on permanent changes for awhile.

Nancy
 
So sorry for your loss. I hope, with time, that your father will regain his strength and courage.

Best wishes,
 
Please accept my best wishes for you and your family. My mother died suddenly a little over six years ago. I miss my mommy. May the L-rd Bless You and Keep You.
 
I'm very saddened by your loss, and the tragic circumstances.
May the memories of their recent, happy travels provide comfort to you.
 
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