Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough - Owner Update

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Well, after many years of near silence, things are stirring at the (in)famous Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough. Apparently there have been some changes in resort management. Seems that ex-HOA President Harlon and resort manager Billy Sue had something going on the side, and the two of them suddenly departed their jobs and were last seen heading out down the driveway together in Harlon's El Duh Rahdo with the top down. Truth be told, when I heard the story I wasn't sure if they were saying the top was down on the El Duh Rahdo or on Billy Sue. Prolly both. It sure as hell wasn't Harlon's top that was down; that wouldn't have been pretty 'tall.

Anyway the rest of the Board members finally found replacements for both of 'em, and hoo-eee, changes are afoot, and I mean that literally. As in, maintenance chief Jeb replaced the fouled spark plug on the pressure washer so now that works. Before opening of alligator season in August the mud and moss will be removed from all of the driveways, sidewalks, and decks. Over in the machine shop the guys started a pool for the person who can guess what color the decks will be after the gunk is removed. The signup sheet is only half full, but all of the good colors have already been taken.

******

The other big change came about when the RCI TPU numbers for Mugwump came out. That was a real shocker to the boys on the board, and they finally admitted that dear old MT@SS was maybe lacking a few "amenities" to make it more attractive. Seems that some of folks exchanging in thought that "nature activities" might mean more than just throwing table scraps out the window to feed the raccoons and possums and roasting cockroaches in the bar-bee-cues.

So they decided to make the old path that goes through the brambles and mangrove next to Slimy Slough into a nature trail. They put some fresh mulch on the trail, mixed in pig manure to give it a bit more "earthy" smell to appeal more to the eek-o-turists, added some benches, and put up some wildlife identification signs.

They sent in the information to RCI to get the nature trail added to the amenity list - did it nice and pretty with pictures and all. Then about a month ago Darryl, the board member in charge of the project, realized that whoever made the information signs for the critters got the recipes mixed up.

So as soon as they get that straightened out they're going to update the information. As people become aware of the trail the Board is expecting that owners will receive a substantial boost in TPU, up as high or 3 or maybe even 5. Old Dick (we won't say how he got that nickname), the desk clerk who handles most of the RCI stuff and who has a chain saw business on the side, loses track after that because that's more than the number of fingers he's got left.

******

Anyway, that's the update information I got from an owner I met at Daisy's coffee shop in town a couple of weeks ago. Bought him one of Daisy's pecan sticky rolls and now he thinks we're best buddies. Used to be we could count on Kurt Brown for owners updates, but Kurt hasn't been sharing much about Mugwump Towers for quite a few years now. Hope Kurt is doing fine.

Anyway I hope this helps and I'm looking forward to an updated resort review by the first lucky TUGgers who snags a Mugwump exchange.

 

[Fern Modena]

 

[MuranoJo]

I'd put it in an Ongoing Search, as I think units at this resort must be hard to spot online--I've never seen one myself. What's really interesting is I've never seen a resort review for this either.

 

[mas]

I'd put it in an Ongoing Search, as I think units at this resort must be hard to spot online--I've never seen one myself. What's really interesting is I've never seen a resort review for this either.

It kind a sounded like that there Mr. TRoglodyte did indeed give a rather glowing review...

 

[laurac260]

I wish I had a clue what this was about. I feel like I'm missing a really good story!

 

[M. Henley]

Great!!

The ol' Mugwamp Towers at Slimey Slough is back for a new run!!
Some of the best of TUG was represented by stories surrounding this fabled resort.

 

[susieq]

Glad to see it back in the news!!!

 

[Dori]

Thanks for the "Update". Tales of this "resort" have given me many laughs over the years. Thanks for bringing it back to life.

Dori

 

[Rose Pink]

Inquiring minds want to know if boiled pizza will be served.

 

[pjrose]

They sent in the information to RCI to get the nature trail added to the amenity list - did it nice and pretty with pictures and all. Then about a month ago Darryl, the board member in charge of the project, realized that whoever made the information signs for the critters got the recipes mixed up.

Id shore like to git me sum a them recipes. I do love me some gator!

Inquiring minds want to know if boiled pizza will be served.

Only if it be gator pizza.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Originally Posted by T_R_Oglodyte

They sent in the information to RCI to get the nature trail added to the amenity list - did it nice and pretty with pictures and all. Then about a month ago Darryl, the board member in charge of the project, realized that whoever made the information signs for the critters got the recipes mixed up.

Id shore like to git me sum a them recipes. I do love me some gator!

I think you'll have to talk to Zeb in the maintenance department. The recipes are family recipes from Annie. Annie is either Zeb's great aunt or his second cousin, depending on which side of his family tree you reckon from.

Anyway Annie recited the recipes to Zeb's sister Laura, 'cause Laura's the only in one in the family that reads and writes worth a lick. After Laura wrote 'em down, she went into town and printed up the recipes nice; got them laminated too so they would last longer under the acrylic cover on the sign. She gave them to Zeb in order and told him which recipe went with which critter. But Zeb dropped the papers and they got all out of order. Zeb thought he remembered which recipe went with which critter, but he didn't get it right. So that's how the signs got all mixed.

Zeb does do solid work, though, so after he thought he had everything in order, he built the signs and hauled them out to the trail, dug the post holes, and planted the signs, being sure to use plenty of con-kreete so the signs would be good and strong and solidly planted. So now it's a big hassle trying to get the signs back out so they can be fixed.

*****

I know you were just asking about getting the recipes, and here I am taking us down a long possum trail away from your question. Anyway, if you want the recipes I suggest that next time you're at Mugwump you stop by the maintenance shed outback, next to the dumpsters, and ask for Zebulon. If Zeb's around he'll be glad to see if he can get another set of the recipes for you.

Not sure if Zeb will have the recipe for boiled pizza though. Last I recall Zeb's family thought boiled pizza was more trouble to fix than it was worth. Instead they liked to go out on the interstate to get the fixings for fresh critter-of-the-day pizza.

 

["Roger"]

Hear they had to rename the nature trail. Parently Zeb was clearing some brush long the trail and one of the critters took after him.

Folks like to say that the critter just was out to try one of them there recipes - thought it was for him (or her - folks aren't very good at determining the sex of them them gators). They all know that no gator would be using a recipe, but they like to fun Zeb bout the whole afair. He is good an scared.

In any case, the nature trail is now thge adventure trail. Down there at Mugwamps, they think of the trail as a kinda ultimate arcade game. No namby pamby games like them northerns play. True men play with real stakes.

 

[M. Henley]

Well!!

How 'bout sum biled possum? I seed one on th' road yisterday!!

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Hear they had to rename the nature trail. Parently Zeb was clearing some brush long the trail and one of the critters took after him.

Folks like to say that the critter just was out to try one of them there recipes - thought it was for him (or her - folks aren't very good at determining the sex of them them gators). They all know that no gator would be using a recipe, but they like to fun Zeb bout the whole afair. He is good an scared.

In any case, the nature trail is now thge adventure trail. Down there at Mugwamps, they think of the trail as a kinda ultimate arcade game. No namby pamby games like them northerns play. True men play with real stakes.

 

[MuranoJo]

It kind a sounded like that there Mr. TRoglodyte did indeed give a rather glowing review...

That weren't 'ficial, else would be on the whatzit rezort views--that were just some ramblins from some hillbilly.

Jes don't get yer bowels in an uproar.

 

[pjrose]

Not sure if Zeb will have the recipe for boiled pizza though. Last I recall Zeb's family thought boiled pizza was more trouble to fix than it was worth. Instead they liked to go out on the interstate to get the fixings for fresh critter-of-the-day pizza.

We got a resty-rant down in these parts, Tex-as Roadkill, that I do b'lieve uses them critters. They's also a Road-kill Cafay in some parts.
http://www.road-kill-cafe.com/roadkill.html

Mebbe Mugwump Towers might wanna git some more a-them stars with a good eatery like them ones. Just so long's they ain't gonna raise my my maintenis fees.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

Well, while making some sales calls a couple of weeks ago I stopped by to see my friends, Jerry and Jimmy McComber, at Skillery Skallery Enterprises. They’ve been in business for years at the far end of Slimey Slough, originally doing tanning and taxidermy, and more recently serving up some of the best gumbo in area. All under one roof. Quite an impressive operation the McComber boys got going there. Everything’s all spiffy and clean, and unlike the way things used to be twenty years ago, there’s no ripening “byproducts” in the dumpsters out back anymore.

I first got to know the McCombers when I had one of them Eek-ology contracts to study waste management in the Slimey Slough area. At first I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t have stuff sitting in the dumpsters out back any longer. Then I remembered that was right about the time they started up the gumbo stand out front. And it’s been pretty successful, too. Folks say that Skillery Skallery Gumbo has a taste that you can’t get at any other gumbo stand anywhere in the world. And you know, I’m pretty sure there’s a reason for that.

*****

But I didn’t reopen this thread to talk about Skillery Skallery. Earlier I mentioned that Harlon and Billy Sue had skeedaddled off together, and that there had been some changes in Mugwump management when their positions were filled. So, being in the area, I stopped by to make a sales call to the Mugwump Towers to introduce myself to the new housekeeping and maintenance staff and see if I might be able to pick them up as customers. And I picked up some skinny that I thought might be of interest to the Mugwump owners.

I was pleased to see that RoseAnne deShay is the new Office Manager at Mugwump. I first met RoseAnne when she was working the counter at Daisy’s Coffee Shop. RoseAnne and Daisy are cousins, and not only that, each of them has an ex-husband who are brothers, so they're got one of them real sisterhood bonding things going, being related both by blood and divorce. Pretty damn bloody divorces, too, so when people ask how they’re related, they sometimes wink at each other and say “We’re ‘bloody cousins’, matey”, with a bit of British accent.

Daisy gave RoseAnne her start working in the Coffee Shop, and RoseAnne did such a good job managing the Coffee Shop that she got involved in other management jobs. Now she’s practically running the entire show at Mugwump. For the good too, because she’s taking a fresh look at the budget, and looking for ways to save money.

Anyway, RoseAnne was reading a copy of the financial section of USA Today that some traveling businessman left in Daisy’s coffee shop, and she clipped an article that was about companies outsourcing services. So RoseAnne started thinking that she knew of several ladies in town who were running house cleaning business, and she thought that maybe she could outsource the room housekeeping services. So she let it be known they were looking around, and now an outfit called Leroy’s Cleaning does all of the room cleaning at Mugwump.

*******

LeRoy’s is run by Sharlene Clinton, who grew up on the other side of Slimey Slough. Still lives there, too, on the same land her family homesteaded years ago. Her mom and dad live in the farmhouse in front, and she lives with her kids in the trailers on the back side of the pole barn. Sharlene’s got 15 kids, so when things got too crowded they would just get another RV or prefab and move it out there. So she runs her cleaning business out of the kitchen in one of the trailers, and she keeps all of the kids busy working for her.

Anyway, RoseAnne sent me off to talk to Sharlene because as a contractor Sharlene was the one who bought supplies. So I caught up with Sharlene while she had the crew there cleaning, and we chatted for a spell.

I like to know my business clients personally as well as professionally, so I was asking her about the kids who were helping her out. So she pointed to one of the older boys and says, “That’s Leroy, and he’s does all of the heavy furniture moving and lifting. And that girl yonder, that’s LeighRoy, and she is in charge of running the washing machines. And other young boy there, his name is Leroy and he does all of the vacuuming. He works mostly with that other sister over there, who strips the beds. Her name is LeighRoy. “

So I asked, “All four of ‘em are named 'Leroy’?”

And Sharlene said “That’s right. And all ‘leven others, as well. All named Leroy - course it’s spelled different for the girls. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but giving them all the same name was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. With fifteen kids it’s pretty darn convenient to just say ‘Leroy!’ and get them all to listen at once. “

And when I said, “Ahh - that’s why the business is “Leroy’s Cleaning”, she nodded her head.

So I just had to ask, “Well what do you do then when you want to talk to only one or two of them at a time? You can’t say Leroy ‘cause that would call of them.”

Sharlene looked at me and smiled, “Oh that’s easy. In that case I just use that one’s last name.”

*******

I have to say I was shocked - totally shocked!!! Let that be a lesson to never underestimate the cleverness of the women of Slimey Slough.

 

[susieq]

Sharlene looked at me and smiled, “Oh that’s easy. In that case I just use that one’s last name.”

Shouda seen that one comin'!!

 

[pjrose]

. . .
Sharlene looked at me and smiled, “Oh that’s easy. In that case I just use that one’s last name.”

*******

I have to say I was shocked - totally shocked!!! Let that be a lesson to never underestimate the cleverness of the women of Slimey Slough.

Shouda seen that one comin'!!

OMG that was a good one Troggy!
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I was so taken with Sharlene that I forgot to mention that Daisy picked up a likker license. Now she's going upscale and added wine to the dinner menu. Got some nice selections, too. Right now she's featuring

• World Championship Riesling
• NASCARbernet
• Chef Boyardeaux
• Peanut Noir

No rosés, though. When I asked about that Daisy said she had it covered - they just mix together some Riesling and cabernet - they call it World Championship NASCAR.

*****

No wine on the Sunday dinner menu, though. She had it there at first, but apparently some of the folks in the after service crowd from the Baptist Church objected. So some lades from the Baptist Women's Auxiliary paid her a visit, and after prayer for her soul and what-not, she pulled wine from the Sunday menu.

But if you ask your waitress they'll still pour some for you; you just have to know how to ask. And I hear that Doris Hilburn, the Baptist Women's secretary, has suddenly taken a liking to having some of Daisy's "white cranberry juice" with her Sunday meal.

 

[Carol C]

You have in your subject header "Owner Update". So, is MW@SS part of Diamond Resorts now?

 

[Passepartout]

The Skillery Skallery Gumbo explains why the gas station out front was out of Jerky. They REALLY need to do something about that big jug of pickled hard boiled eggs out there on the counter though. They have a sorta wild flavor to 'em. Which reminds me... anybody seen the Guinea Hens and peacocks- and hens- that used to strut around the place?

Jim

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

You have in your subject header "Owner Update". So, is MW@SS part of Diamond Resorts now?

Unfortunately, no. The "Update" was given to my by one of the owners.

 

[Kurt Brown]

Stuf bout Boiled Pizza without much about Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough

Well, after many years of near silence, things are stirring at the (in)famous Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough. Apparently there have been some changes in resort management. Seems that ex-HOA President Harlon and resort manager Billy Sue had something going on the side, and the two of them suddenly departed their jobs and were last seen heading out down the driveway together in Harlon's El Duh Rahdo with the top down. Truth be told, when I heard the story I wasn't sure if they were saying the top was down on the El Duh Rahdo or on Billy Sue. Prolly both. It sure as hell wasn't Harlon's top that was down; that wouldn't have been pretty 'tall.

Anyway the rest of the Board members finally found replacements for both of 'em, and hoo-eee, changes are afoot, and I mean that literally. As in, maintenance chief Jeb replaced the fouled spark plug on the pressure washer so now that works. Before opening of alligator season in August the mud and moss will be removed from all of the driveways, sidewalks, and decks. Over in the machine shop the guys started a pool for the person who can guess what color the decks will be after the gunk is removed. The signup sheet is only half full, but all of the good colors have already been taken.

******

The other big change came about when the RCI TPU numbers for Mugwump came out. That was a real shocker to the boys on the board, and they finally admitted that dear old MT@SS was maybe lacking a few "amenities" to make it more attractive. Seems that some of folks exchanging in thought that "nature activities" might mean more than just throwing table scraps out the window to feed the raccoons and possums and roasting cockroaches in the bar-bee-cues.

So they decided to make the old path that goes through the brambles and mangrove next to Slimy Slough into a nature trail. They put some fresh mulch on the trail, mixed in pig manure to give it a bit more "earthy" smell to appeal more to the eek-o-turists, added some benches, and put up some wildlife identification signs.

They sent in the information to RCI to get the nature trail added to the amenity list - did it nice and pretty with pictures and all. Then about a month ago Darryl, the board member in charge of the project, realized that whoever made the information signs for the critters got the recipes mixed up.

So as soon as they get that straightened out they're going to update the information. As people become aware of the trail the Board is expecting that owners will receive a substantial boost in TPU, up as high or 3 or maybe even 5. Old Dick (we won't say how he got that nickname), the desk clerk who handles most of the RCI stuff and who has a chain saw business on the side, loses track after that because that's more than the number of fingers he's got left.

******

Anyway, that's the update information I got from an owner I met at Daisy's coffee shop in town a couple of weeks ago. Bought him one of Daisy's pecan sticky rolls and now he thinks we're best buddies. Used to be we could count on Kurt Brown for owners updates, but Kurt hasn't been sharing much about Mugwump Towers for quite a few years now. Hope Kurt is doing fine.

Anyway I hope this helps and I'm looking forward to an updated resort review by the first lucky TUGgers who snags a Mugwump exchange.

*******************************************************
Not sure I can still find the Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough posts. I am sure that I posted a reevu on TUG so it must be around here somewhere. Hatrack (still around?) a long time ago retrieved from the ol' cauldron some of my past stories about Boiled Pizza, and that is one of the few things that has been saved from all my computer crashes.

Anyway, here goes -

Fellow Tuggers,

Hatrack here to save the day....I was once honored to receive a personalized copy of the famous Boiled Pizza recipe from "glad I could help a little" Kurt Brown.....enjoy!
=============================================

Kurt, could you repost the Boiled Pizza recipe? I missed out on that
a couple years back.

Well, Hatrack, there are a few problems here.
First, I must put aside all ego and very, very modestly admit that I
was the first and original inventor of Boiled Pizza, which has
gained a sort of cult following among the top cooks around here.
Tonyg was my first hired hand, though he was not all that great as
Chief Chef and though I never fired him, he did not get paid all
that much for his lackadaisical efforts, but since the pay was not
all that good anyway, who can blame him, except for me and the
customers, including those who kept wondering what all that stuff
coming out of the timeshare was anyway, as it flowed so to speak,
into the lake, which was not much to look at in the first place, but
it wouldn't have taken first place anyway, if you get my meaning, or
not as the case may be, or not be, depending on the time of night,
which is getting kind of late, and I might leave something out, but
that is just the way of things in this life, so I guess I will go on
anyway, if that is O.K., and just let me know if it is not, if it is
not too much trouble, and I doubt that it is, or perhaps it is.
Second, it has been a number of years since Boiled Pizza was first
invented, back in about '98 or so. I really can't remember much
about it except that the beer was flowing at the time, and Tonyg and
I and a bunch of others found this huge black cauldron in a dark
corner of the timeshare. It was not would you would call a Gold Star
or Five Crown reeesort. It was a place somewhere between here and
there, and I think it was found in the Arsee Eye Picture Book,
though I couldn't be sure. Maybe he remembers, but I doubt it. I
think we first introduced it on the Timesharing Today website, but I
can't be really sure about that. It seemed to translate just about
O.K. to TUG, so we refined the recipes, so to speak.
Anyway, as I recall, people were starting to fight and throw things
so we decided to cook for the bunch. Like I said, all there was was
this big ol' huge and pretty large cauldron that was next to the
fire. As there was not really a kitchen, and certainly not a
fireplace, we thought we would go ahead and use the fire that was
already burning. Kinda like I am not sure we didn't just pick the
lock to the place anyway, though I think it was a timeshare, and
Tonyg faked it that he was an Arsee Eye member, and they bought it.
What we decided to do was to just dump a whole lot of spaghetti
sauce into the thing. Some unbelievers wondered how that was going
to turn into pizza. I told them not to worry, that everything was
just going to be just fine. The main things was these BBQ skewers
and a meat tenderizer. I think that is what they call them with the
metal rough side that looks like an old hiking boot sole, which is
made out of metal, and probably wouldn't be all that comfortable if
they used them for hiking boot soles.
Some guy said you had to have crust and stuff if you wanted pizza. I
dumped a bunch of flour into the boiling spaghetti sauce, or was it
tomato sauce? I am not sure I know the difference, if there is one,
and I sure couldn't care all that much.
The stuff started coming over the top, and some wise guy wanted
pepperoni and mushrooms and anchovies and all. Tonyg was trying to
hold the pepperonis on the bottom so that it would be like pizza,
you know. He started screaming. I suggested that he put on the ol'
asbestos gloves next to the fireplace. Like I said, there wasn't a
fireplace. That helped a little, and he just sort of sniggled and
stuff, until they got wet and he began yelping again like an old
dog.
I got the great idea to use the BBQ skewers to hold down the
pepperonis. Pounded 'em in with the meat tenderizer. But, guess that
old cauldron was old after all. Stuff started spurting out of the
bottom and catching fire, and flowing out the door, and everyone
outside started saying things that you don't say on TUG 'cause some
people don't care for colorful language. Anyway, I think it really
helped them launch all those boats a little quicker.
Some of the fish in the lake came up for air to see what all the
commotion was about. We put some of them into the tomato sauce, but
they wouldn't stay on the bottom. Seemed like the same skewers that
we used to keep the anchovies in place, worked for the lake fish,
too.
The consistency of the dough was a little unusual and kinda balled
up, and Tonyg would hold it down to the bottom, then he would kind
of yelp, and we had to throw stuff in to keep it all in place. The
anchovies started eating the mushrooms, and the lake fish went after
the green peppers. It was not nice.
Got a little better when Tonyg climbed into the cauldron to keep
stuff in place. He washed his feet before, I think. Maybe it was the
day before. Anyway, we kinda ladled it out on a paper plate, which
was a mistake. Everything got a little wet, and then a little bit on
fire, and before you know it, everyone was getting into the act.
Over the years, we have refined the recipes and added a lot of
stuff. Found if you scrape off some of the caked up stuff on the
bottom of the cauldron. I mean the real bottom of the cauldron, the
stuff tastes a little better, though I don't know where that other
fella went when he started heaving. Hope he wasn't near the cauldron
at the time. That would be a little gross.
Anyway, there is not one recipe. But, lots. We even had a recipe
book here on TUG. I think Mel was in charge of recipes at that time,
but she would be the one to come up with all the good ones.
Some were good. Some were less good. Some were, well......
Now, when we finally checked out and there was all this stuff stuck
to the floor, and on the door, and on the ceiling, and out the door,
and into the lake, and in all the holes in the golf course, or
whatever that was, they threatened to charge us an extra cleaning
fee. I told 'em to put it on Tonyg's card. Think he had a membership
from the "Y", or maybe it was a coupon for something on the back of
a grocery slip. I don't know.
In spite of all the muttering, and the new language that I learned,
they seemed to take it pretty well. Said something about exchanging
to someplace else next time. Not sure what they meant by that.
There's been a lot of Boiled Pizza under the bridge since then, and
we have fed an awful lot of people, even some who claimed they
weren't really all that hungry. But, we were pretty insistent, about
them getting their sustenance and nutrition and all. Felt we owed it
to them. Got a lot of "hmmms". Whatever.
There's a lot more to it. Just follow the recipe and you will be
fine.....or not.
Once you try it, you will never go back to that flat round stuff
that all tastes the same. That's one of the beauties of Boiled
Pizza. It rarely tastes the same, and you can dump just about
anything in and no one will notice. Great if all you got is
roadkill. Not really. We wouldn't really put roadkill in there. Now
would we. We're just ol' ordinary TUGgers. Doing our best to help
out mankind. New kinds of food and drink are our specialties. About
that new way to prepare Fishing Pasta. But that will have to wait
for another time.
Glad I could help a little,
Kurt

 

[Kurt Brown]

Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough

*******************************************************
Not sure I can still find the Mugwump Towers at Slimy Slough posts. I am sure that I posted a reevu on TUG so it must be around here somewhere. Hatrack (still around?) a long time ago retrieved from the ol' cauldron some of my past stories about Boiled Pizza, and that is one of the few things that has been saved from all my computer crashes.

Anyway, here goes -

Fellow Tuggers,

Hatrack here to save the day....I was once honored to receive a personalized copy of the famous Boiled Pizza recipe from "glad I could help a little" Kurt Brown.....enjoy!
=============================================

Kurt, could you repost the Boiled Pizza recipe? I missed out on that
a couple years back.

Well, Hatrack, there are a few problems here.
First, I must put aside all ego and very, very modestly admit that I
was the first and original inventor of Boiled Pizza, which has
gained a sort of cult following among the top cooks around here.
Tonyg was my first hired hand, though he was not all that great as
Chief Chef and though I never fired him, he did not get paid all
that much for his lackadaisical efforts, but since the pay was not
all that good anyway, who can blame him, except for me and the
customers, including those who kept wondering what all that stuff
coming out of the timeshare was anyway, as it flowed so to speak,
into the lake, which was not much to look at in the first place, but
it wouldn't have taken first place anyway, if you get my meaning, or
not as the case may be, or not be, depending on the time of night,
which is getting kind of late, and I might leave something out, but
that is just the way of things in this life, so I guess I will go on
anyway, if that is O.K., and just let me know if it is not, if it is
not too much trouble, and I doubt that it is, or perhaps it is.
Second, it has been a number of years since Boiled Pizza was first
invented, back in about '98 or so. I really can't remember much
about it except that the beer was flowing at the time, and Tonyg and
I and a bunch of others found this huge black cauldron in a dark
corner of the timeshare. It was not would you would call a Gold Star
or Five Crown reeesort. It was a place somewhere between here and
there, and I think it was found in the Arsee Eye Picture Book,
though I couldn't be sure. Maybe he remembers, but I doubt it. I
think we first introduced it on the Timesharing Today website, but I
can't be really sure about that. It seemed to translate just about
O.K. to TUG, so we refined the recipes, so to speak.
Anyway, as I recall, people were starting to fight and throw things
so we decided to cook for the bunch. Like I said, all there was was
this big ol' huge and pretty large cauldron that was next to the
fire. As there was not really a kitchen, and certainly not a
fireplace, we thought we would go ahead and use the fire that was
already burning. Kinda like I am not sure we didn't just pick the
lock to the place anyway, though I think it was a timeshare, and
Tonyg faked it that he was an Arsee Eye member, and they bought it.
What we decided to do was to just dump a whole lot of spaghetti
sauce into the thing. Some unbelievers wondered how that was going
to turn into pizza. I told them not to worry, that everything was
just going to be just fine. The main things was these BBQ skewers
and a meat tenderizer. I think that is what they call them with the
metal rough side that looks like an old hiking boot sole, which is
made out of metal, and probably wouldn't be all that comfortable if
they used them for hiking boot soles.
Some guy said you had to have crust and stuff if you wanted pizza. I
dumped a bunch of flour into the boiling spaghetti sauce, or was it
tomato sauce? I am not sure I know the difference, if there is one,
and I sure couldn't care all that much.
The stuff started coming over the top, and some wise guy wanted
pepperoni and mushrooms and anchovies and all. Tonyg was trying to
hold the pepperonis on the bottom so that it would be like pizza,
you know. He started screaming. I suggested that he put on the ol'
asbestos gloves next to the fireplace. Like I said, there wasn't a
fireplace. That helped a little, and he just sort of sniggled and
stuff, until they got wet and he began yelping again like an old
dog.
I got the great idea to use the BBQ skewers to hold down the
pepperonis. Pounded 'em in with the meat tenderizer. But, guess that
old cauldron was old after all. Stuff started spurting out of the
bottom and catching fire, and flowing out the door, and everyone
outside started saying things that you don't say on TUG 'cause some
people don't care for colorful language. Anyway, I think it really
helped them launch all those boats a little quicker.
Some of the fish in the lake came up for air to see what all the
commotion was about. We put some of them into the tomato sauce, but
they wouldn't stay on the bottom. Seemed like the same skewers that
we used to keep the anchovies in place, worked for the lake fish,
too.
The consistency of the dough was a little unusual and kinda balled
up, and Tonyg would hold it down to the bottom, then he would kind
of yelp, and we had to throw stuff in to keep it all in place. The
anchovies started eating the mushrooms, and the lake fish went after
the green peppers. It was not nice.
Got a little better when Tonyg climbed into the cauldron to keep
stuff in place. He washed his feet before, I think. Maybe it was the
day before. Anyway, we kinda ladled it out on a paper plate, which
was a mistake. Everything got a little wet, and then a little bit on
fire, and before you know it, everyone was getting into the act.
Over the years, we have refined the recipes and added a lot of
stuff. Found if you scrape off some of the caked up stuff on the
bottom of the cauldron. I mean the real bottom of the cauldron, the
stuff tastes a little better, though I don't know where that other
fella went when he started heaving. Hope he wasn't near the cauldron
at the time. That would be a little gross.
Anyway, there is not one recipe. But, lots. We even had a recipe
book here on TUG. I think Mel was in charge of recipes at that time,
but she would be the one to come up with all the good ones.
Some were good. Some were less good. Some were, well......
Now, when we finally checked out and there was all this stuff stuck
to the floor, and on the door, and on the ceiling, and out the door,
and into the lake, and in all the holes in the golf course, or
whatever that was, they threatened to charge us an extra cleaning
fee. I told 'em to put it on Tonyg's card. Think he had a membership
from the "Y", or maybe it was a coupon for something on the back of
a grocery slip. I don't know.
In spite of all the muttering, and the new language that I learned,
they seemed to take it pretty well. Said something about exchanging
to someplace else next time. Not sure what they meant by that.
There's been a lot of Boiled Pizza under the bridge since then, and
we have fed an awful lot of people, even some who claimed they
weren't really all that hungry. But, we were pretty insistent, about
them getting their sustenance and nutrition and all. Felt we owed it
to them. Got a lot of "hmmms". Whatever.
There's a lot more to it. Just follow the recipe and you will be
fine.....or not.
Once you try it, you will never go back to that flat round stuff
that all tastes the same. That's one of the beauties of Boiled
Pizza. It rarely tastes the same, and you can dump just about
anything in and no one will notice. Great if all you got is
roadkill. Not really. We wouldn't really put roadkill in there. Now
would we. We're just ol' ordinary TUGgers. Doing our best to help
out mankind. New kinds of food and drink are our specialties. About
that new way to prepare Fishing Pasta. But that will have to wait
for another time.
Glad I could help a little,
Kurt

TINNY MINNY REEVU - MUGWUMP TOWERS AT SLIMY SLOUGH

Las tim I wuz thur in '98 thunk it were they still had the Chuck-Inn Bildin wit th wurlds bigges pil a chuckin bones. Th bikerchicks un bikerchucks wud roar round the Chuck-Inn Bildin; bout ten doz or so ov em. Membur askin thm ta make a lil less smok and noyz. Ol Bil pulld mee down fum th burnin treee bout sex daz ur so latta. Not muck wurs fur ware. Wee awl git oldur anyhow ya no.

Akommadayshuns was rul gud. Nevur got too hot ur col sinz th tarpapa had lotsa hols in it inywaa. Ya cud see outta inta th allee, sumtimes bafouir they snucked up onya. Bedz mad uv that rumbly stuff thut keepya bounsin all nite long. An nevr got hungree as thur wuz plenteestuff lef inth bedz bye th bikr gangs fum las tim. Fernachur was rul gud too. Jes don pul out th drawz. Sumthin lible jump out an bitecha.

Th clawzits. Don' opin th dooor! Promis It haz a big hairy thing in it that slimes awl ovaya. Don' no whut wuz but it bitz. Sur duz.

Kitchun. Bes thung is th kombinashun thingy. Mickurwaive un grbg dispos. ifn don' kum out gud, ez ta flush. That stov thiung rul gud too. Alredy lited so ya don' hav ta wory bout thut stuf. Potsunpanz. Gud stuf redy in em.

Oyl chang stashun shak. Big Ned hangin fum the ruf jus lik las tim. Luks bout th sam cept fur the stuf hangin ddown fum Big Ned. Gess ya needta do yur own az he won hep much. So menatees rul gud too.

Swamp. Not much cums outta thut plac. Lot goes in, nuthin out. Anybuddy see th nite watcherman? Gues he went fur waak. Whazzat noyz? Lik screemin. Probly jes th allygatas burpin.

Hot Tub. Rul Gud too. don needta chang th watta. jes kinda gurgles in thur. Stuf flotin too. Injoy ursef.

Kustamur survus. Rul gud. Guy behin desc at Chuck-in Bildin jes the bes. Kidz luvit whin he pulls outta hiz eyebalz un spits up stuf.

Th wuds. Rul gud. Anybuddy see thut kid thut wunderd ova thur? Lotsa gud souns. Speshul bout midnite. Ya don' skare ezy doz ya?

Grat plac ifn ya lik mud. Plentee mud. Slimy mud. Stuf init too. Id giv th plac a TIN or LIBIN. Sur mus bee hi rated on Arcee Eye un Eyeeyesir. Go ontaovathur yul luvit. Bes plac evur.

Moor nestim.

Glad I could help a little,
Kurt